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Could the man of your life be someone who made a fool of himself each time he hit the bottle? (and he did regularly)
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He's a drunk?
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Quote by javier
Could the man of your life be someone who made a fool of himself each time he hit the bottle? (and he did regularly)
Not ever. My father was an alcoholic. What you are describing and asking pertains to alcoholism, since you add the caveat 'regularly'.
It's far more than being just a fool, when he or she 'hits' the bottle. It becomes a degrading, controlling and damaging thing for everyone around the person.
May I ask why you want to know this? Because whether it is excessive drinking, or having a different problem with addictive substances, any relationship will be slowly but surely affected by it. And I totally expect to be flamed for stating this, and told that I am wrong and have misread or gone over-board in my interpretation.
Whatever.
All I can say to that, in advance, is don't be so sure if you haven't been down that road, and the way the question is worded is ambivalent, to say the least.
Basta!
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"May I ask why you want to know this? "
I got a friend who is an acoholic, I sometimes go with him to AA meetings, and there's lots of couples where one of them has the problem and the other just struggles to keep the relationship afloat.
I was just wondering to what extent should anyone, in this case a woman, try to fight to keep the relationship going.
I got a friend who is an acoholic, I sometimes go with him to AA meetings, and there's lots of couples where one of them has the problem and the other just struggles to keep the relationship afloat.
I was just wondering to what extent should anyone, in this case a woman, try to fight to keep the relationship going.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by gypsymothQuote by javier
Could the man of your life be someone who made a fool of himself each time he hit the bottle? (and he did regularly)
Not ever. My father was an alcoholic. What you are describing and asking pertains to alcoholism, since you add the caveat 'regularly'.
It's far more than being just a fool, when he or she 'hits' the bottle. It becomes a degrading, controlling and damaging thing for everyone around the person.
May I ask why you want to know this? Because whether it is excessive drinking, or having a different problem with addictive substances, any relationship will be slowly but surely affected by it. And I totally expect to be flamed for stating this, and told that I am wrong and have misread or gone over-board in my interpretation.
Whatever.
All I can say to that, in advance, is don't be so sure if you haven't been down that road, and the way the question is worded is ambivalent, to say the least.
Basta!
I grew up in a home like this, and had two long-term relationships with alcoholic/drug addicts. They suck, they damage EVERYONE. I advise against it. Lifetime repercussions to ensue.
Artistic Tart
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Quote by javier
Could the man of your life be someone who made a fool of himself each time he hit the bottle? (and he did regularly)
No way, never. I am all for having a good time, being wild, and taking it a little too far, god knows I do it myself all the time, but could I let a guy be my permanent man if he was an alcoholic? Never.
My dad raised me, he is an alcoholic, and all that shit that Gypsymoth mentioned is stuff he did. He couldnt ever keep a woman around, not that any of them amounted to much anyways, treated everyone around him like shit, and the only time he was happy was when his boys would come over and they would get drunk all day, watching tv or whatever. He embarrassed me all the time, and really only cares about doing whatever the fuck wants to do and drinking when he is not working.
So you think I want any part of that from another guy by choice? I see these guys in the club all the time too. All numb and bitter and sometimes mean but always degrading. Can't help but see my dad in all of them. I would say they need help but they dont want it, they just want to drink and forget. I ran away from that, and I am not going back, not with him or anybody else!
Alpha Blonde
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I've gone through phases in life where I've partied way more than I should have, with both friends and significant others.
While I feel complete sympathy and empathy for those with addiction issues, I couldn't be with someone that was comfortable with being an alcoholic or a drug addict.
If it was a long term partner, and I loved him, and he fell into that scene, the only way I'd stay was if he was willing and wanting to get help through AA or rehab etc. As long as he was making a serious effort, I'd probably try to give things a chance.
If he didn't think he had a problem and it was obvious to everyone else that he did, then I'd be gone for sure... Life's too short to get dragged down like this.
While I feel complete sympathy and empathy for those with addiction issues, I couldn't be with someone that was comfortable with being an alcoholic or a drug addict.
If it was a long term partner, and I loved him, and he fell into that scene, the only way I'd stay was if he was willing and wanting to get help through AA or rehab etc. As long as he was making a serious effort, I'd probably try to give things a chance.
If he didn't think he had a problem and it was obvious to everyone else that he did, then I'd be gone for sure... Life's too short to get dragged down like this.
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Quote by javier
"May I ask why you want to know this? "
I got a friend who is an acoholic, I sometimes go with him to AA meetings, and there's lots of couples where one of them has the problem and the other just struggles to keep the relationship afloat.
I was just wondering to what extent should anyone, in this case a woman, try to fight to keep the relationship going.
That will ALWAYS depend on each and every individual, and there is NO general rule for it. The circumstances will be different each and EVERY time.
A falling down drunk who passes out and just is useless, abusive, loses his job, barfs all over the place, no kids, woman works and has her own life, well, it is up to her. No way am I ever going to assess why she stays with the fellow, but if the day comes when she needs to get out, man, I'll give her the help she needs to do it.
A falling down drunk who is abusive, smacks around his wife/partner and kids, well, a woman who is caught in that mess is in need of help and resources, as are her children. So the same thing, but even more so when there are children involved who are seeing crap that will destroy them, and maybe physical abuse that will kill or damage them.
If you are going to an AA meeting with a friend who needs to go there, then I hope you realise that this is a very complex and complicated question. There is no one answer to it, and believe me, there are times when it is a life or death question.
Some people work it out, stay together and come out the other side. A lot more don't, and some don't survive the ride. And there are people like LadyX and myself, who have gone through hell, survived, and will never be in that situation if we possibly can avoid it.
But the thing is, the extent to which any person, a woman, in this case, will try and fight to keep a relationship going is not subjected to general rules. There are none, because if there were, when the day comes when she screams for help, that is all that counts, and you better believe it, I've been there to help on that day, when a woman needs it.
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Not possible, I would be gone,gone gone. What can a drunk do for a wet pussy?
Advanced Wordsmith
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No, quite simply.
I mean - okay, I've gone out, gotten wasted and made a tit of myself... And I've done it more than once, it's because I'm quite a lightweight. But I've realized, it's not funny. I've looked after drunk friends as well - and then it's really not funny. If I was out with my partner, and they did it once, it'd be embarassing enough, but if it was an every-time every-week thing... We couldn't last.
I mean - okay, I've gone out, gotten wasted and made a tit of myself... And I've done it more than once, it's because I'm quite a lightweight. But I've realized, it's not funny. I've looked after drunk friends as well - and then it's really not funny. If I was out with my partner, and they did it once, it'd be embarassing enough, but if it was an every-time every-week thing... We couldn't last.
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My boyfriend drinks a lot (4 nights a week) but he is the nicest sweetest drunk ever. He has never abused me physically or mentally. I vowed I would never change him and luckily his drunk behaviour has never made me want to...
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No way I'd have to throw away his booze and beat his ass for being a fool if he did that all the time. Having a bender once in a great while is ok though.
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
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I had a wild time in college, and partied 7 days a week. Did too many things i never should have, any many things i wish i could again.
Mostly i am a social drinker now, occasionally have a beer or a brandy alone, but never get drunk alone. Maybe once or twice a year i will let loose, and go all out. I do not enjoy it as much as when i was single and could do as i liked. So i limit myself.
my wife tells me, that i am as calm drunk as when sobre.
Mostly i am a social drinker now, occasionally have a beer or a brandy alone, but never get drunk alone. Maybe once or twice a year i will let loose, and go all out. I do not enjoy it as much as when i was single and could do as i liked. So i limit myself.
my wife tells me, that i am as calm drunk as when sobre.
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As you guys know, I love to drink, but I mostly drink at social events. I rarely hit the bottle at home. When i get "drunk", what happens is I become more aware and my senses are heightened, not lowered, but i still get that killer hangover. As for having a man who regularly is drunk can really get in the way of our relationship. For one, drunkenness affects memory and of course emotion. He probably won't remember anything I tell him and won't take me seriously.