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help please ... :/

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I know, it's a super cringy profile name. I was feeling some type of way when I made the thing and wasnt thinking too clear lol. Anyway, contrary to the name, I've never actually tried anal. I've wanted to for a long time, but just been pretty scared too because I don't want to feel gross and I don't know how to find a good partner to try it with. Any help ladies? Is it really much different than regular size, minus the pain part?
As a guy who occasionally indulges in this I'd recommend a enema before hand. Keeps things cleaner & pleasant. You might also invest in a appropriate sex toy and 'practice' to see how comfortable you can make yourself with actual penetration and stretching the sphincter muscle/anus.

A important point is it does not need to be painful. Last weekend I witnessed several men 'serviced' anally by a woman with a strap on. None of them were into pain & none felt any. Both they and the lady were experienced enough to avoid any pain.
It took me a long time to learn that anal doesn't actually have to hurt...

For your first time, choose someone you are very comfortable with and trust totally. Don't be afraid to use lashings of lube, take your time and resist the urge to pull away- just relax and gently push back into it.

Because of my past experiences I can be skittish about anal, but once I get going I literally can't get enough. I want more everything- harder, faster, deeper, a dildo in my pussy, a bullet on my clit.

When done properly, anal can be totally mind-blowing and not at all awkward or painful.
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I have enjoyed anal for a long time know. But as kinky_girl says choose someone you ar comforatable with and trust, use lots of lube and go slow until you find what you enjoy. I get so turned on from anal sex nd want more of everything.
Good advice already given by others .You would need to discuss this with your new partner to avoid disappointment . Anal isn't everyones cup of tea but is getting more popular as indicated by the Sex toy sales .
As someone that has both given and received, I can tell you that good anal should not hurt. Yes, there will be intense feelings and pressure, but if it's actually painful to the point that it hurts - then it's not being done right.

It takes a body time to relax and adjust to accept it but patience, lube, relaxation and more lube will take care of that.

It's usually the guy's fault if it hurts, he's too impatient. Until the sphincters have totally relaxed and opened up then any thrusting or "pounding" will be very painful.

For the receiver, breath deeply, relax and always push against the cock/whatever coming in. That will help open you up.

Done right, anal is the most amazing and intimate act.