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Getting a lap dance - is it cheating?

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Active Ink Slinger
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I ended up at a club in Vegas last week, and went into the back room with a young lady for a 30 minute private dance. She was really beautiful, with all natural breasts which she let me play the whole time, and as we got close to the end she asked me if I "needed" another 30 minutes. She was from East Europe and had an accent and I didn't know exactly what she meant. I must have looked at her strange, and then she whispered that she didn't mind me cumming if I needed to do it while she was dancing with me. So of course after that offer I went in for the extra 30 minutes and this time she sat right on my cock with her crotch and humped me the whole way until I came in my pants.

So I'm wondering if something like that happened with your boyfriend of your husband, would you consider it cheating?
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
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It's one thing if it's a night out with the guys every once in a while on certain occasions...and as long as it doesn't go any further than a dance, I wouldn't mind. But not the super intimate, private kind of dance. That's skeevy.

But if it were a habitual thing where he frequented strip clubs and got lap dances every chance he got, then that'd be indication of a problem somewhere in our relationship...or that he's just skeevy. And that would definitely raise some red flags for me. That's almost the real-life equivalent of being married or in a relationship in real life and then coming online and forming relationships and such. It's a form of escapism and, as I said before, an indication of underlying problems within our relationship.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Active Ink Slinger
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Is this a serious question?

If my man is CUMMING in his pants as a result of another woman rubbing up against him, yeah, I'm gonna be PISSED not to mention feel betrayed, even if he told me about it.

It's one thing to visit a strip club on occasion for a drink with the boys or with business clients and enjoy the views but it's a whole other thing to pay for an experience with an over priced trollop behind the black curtain.

I don't know too many women who wouldn't find some issue with this one.
Raised on Blackroot
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Yea...safe to say bro, another lady getting you off by sexual means is pretty "skeevy" as slips so eloquently put it.

I mean...you're basically asking the opposite as well. Would you consider it cheating if your GF gave another dude a lap dance and got him to jizz his fucking pants?

I probably would.
Lurker
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Yeah, he'd be single pretty quick after that.
Active Ink Slinger
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(in my best Beavis and Butthead voice)

"Get this, the Dude said he came in his pants."

"In? Cool. Uh-uh-huhuhuh. So cool."
Active Ink Slinger
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going to a strip club, and getting a dance would be ok.

cumming in your pans while someone ground down, yeah, i would count that as a cheat.
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I don't think it would be cheating, but still not something you want your gf/wife find out about.
Advanced Wordsmith
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^^ OKAY...referring to what was mentioned above, If you don't want your significant other to find out about something...that would lead me to assume that they would be upset if they did, correct? Aaaaand if they would be upset, then you obviously did something that you shouldn't have! If it needs to be kept a secret, you definitely should NOT be doing it.

Anyway... to answer the question itself, a lap dance isn't technically cheating, but I don't know many girls who would want their boyfriends/ husbands getting a lap dance. Personally, I would be really kind of pissed off. Now, the part about you cumming in your pants...(and I'm just ignoring the fact that this obviously wasn't a completely legitimate strip club) I would personally consider it cheating, because she might as well have been jerking you off with her hand. But some girls might feel differently about it, this is just my opinion.
Alpha Blonde
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This would bother me if it was a regular thing and he felt compelled to waste a lot of money on lapdances - but as a one-off, I don't find it all that upsetting. I know I'm in the minority on that, but I've gone to strip clubs with a BF and done all kinds of crazy things. I know what dancers do, what's part of the gig, and I don't really find it all that threatening. As long as the guy's pants stay on, they're just selling a fantasy and a bit of entertainment. The scenario would piss me off if it *wasn't* a stripper but just some random girl in a club, but I feel like strip clubs are exempt from the hard rules - it's like sexual disneyland. Cash is on the forefront - these girls don't want your man.

The scenario described is obviously a more intense lap dance - but not all that different from what a stripper does in a regular lap dance. They *are* grinding on your guy to some degree and most guys getting a dance aren't sitting there with a limp dick. Dances are designed to wind a guy up - it's just basic biology. If they're not jizzing in their pants, they're probably jacking off to thoughts of the stripper later. Is that considered cheating? If so, then don't ever let your man go to a strip club.

Again - it's not an ideal scenario, but if it was a random thing or a moment on a Vegas trip, and he's not a strip-club regular, I wouldn't stress.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by MadMartigan
Yea...safe to say bro, another lady getting you off by sexual means is pretty "skeevy" as slips so eloquently put it.

I mean...you're basically asking the opposite as well. Would you consider it cheating if your GF gave another dude a lap dance and got him to jizz his fucking pants?

I probably would.


Haha, finally a guy who thinks about it both ways! So many guys (or at least ones that I've met) don't ever flip the situation. This comment is the perfect answer to his question.
Raised on Blackroot
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Quote by Dancing_Doll
The scenario would piss me off if it *wasn't* a stripper but just some random girl in a club, but I feel like strip clubs are exempt from the hard rules - it's like sexual disneyland. Cash is on the forefront - these girls don't want your man.


Of course. No one should be deluded enough to think the stripper is in the game trying to steal a girl's man by giving them a lap dance.

They probably fucking hate the job (well, of course there are the ones who loves it) but I'd imagine most are just putting themselves through school. All about the benjamins. They'll work their asses off for those tips as they sure as hell probably aren't getting paid by the hour.

What would the equivalent be for your GF though? I turned it around to your GF giving a random stranger a lap dance and getting him to cum.

I suppose it all depends on the dynamics of your relationship and what or isn't ok, but if you're in the more traditional monogamy type, I can't imagine it'd be ok either way.

I guess the real issue would be if it is a habitual problem rather than a one and day.

Not sure dating a guy who needs a lot of strip club fixes is the type you settle down with.

Can't say I know though or have experience. Strip clubs hold no appeal to me. I've been to Amsterdam. I know how the real professionals work and how the game is played. Maybe not high end call girls, but yea. Money kind of ruins the whole thing.
Alpha Blonde
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Quote by MadMartigan



What would the equivalent be for your GF though? I turned it around to your GF giving a random stranger a lap dance and getting him to cum.

.


I don't have a girlfriend.

lol

Well, I think the same reverse scenario would be a guy's girlfriend going to see male strippers or at a stagette party and the dude was grinding on her or simulating fucking her while all her clothes were still totally on but she still got off on it. I think...? I don't know how guys would feel about that... That is kind of what male strippers do though. How many girls genuinely get off on it - I have no idea. One of my male friends who worked as a stripper can certainly vouch that many of them do.
Artistic Tart
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Quote by MadMartigan



They probably fucking hate the job (well, of course there are the ones who loves it) but I'd imagine most are just putting themselves through school.


We're all putting ourselves through something. I wouldn't say most hate it. It's not easy money, and like any sales job, you can't hide genuine loathing or burnout enough to be successful.
Raised on Blackroot
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Quote by Dancing_Doll


I don't have a girlfriend.

lol

Well, I think the same reverse scenario would be a guy's girlfriend going to see male strippers or at a stagette party and the dude was grinding on her or simulating fucking her while all her clothes were still totally on but she still got off on it. I think...? I don't know how guys would feel about that... That is kind of what male strippers do though. How many girls genuinely get off on it - I have no idea. One of my male friends who worked as a stripper can certainly vouch that many of them do.


I'm sure we have a bunch of Lush gals who've been waiting in line for quite some time now, Doll. All you need do is sound the alarm.
--
Not sure I'd dig that honestly. Not in a serious relationship at any rate, where I had thoughts of future plans with said girl. A casual fling relationship with no true attachments? Sure. Anything is possible.

But meh. You can't change personality and I've long ago admitted and come to accept being a hopelessly hapless romantic where one special lady would be enough.

If I picked right and had my way, said lady would be more than enough for me to handle anyway.
Lurker
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Is it not between the two people?
Lurker
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i accept your lap dance baby
Lurker
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I guess the thing is that we each have to make that determination for ourselves, AND if in doubt, ask your partner. I would bet that while there are some partners who would not consider it cheating, and might not have any problem with it, most would. And if MY gal came home from a strip club (or anywhere) and told me she willingly had some guy grinding up on her in simulated sex until she had an orgasm.... she cheated. So to me, yes, you cheated.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by BelleduJour

CUMMING in his pants

an experience with an over priced trollop behind the black curtain.


Oh the thought of walking around in cummy pants! Ugh!! Why didn't he whip it out and jerk off?

I loved the overpriced trollop line!
Classified
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Quote by dpw

Oh the thought of walking around in cummy pants! Ugh!! Why didn't he whip it out and jerk off?


Could this be the answer?
Some might need a bigger bag.
If sold, sperm banks could help to cover costs as well.

Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Classified
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Quote by BelleduJour
... to pay for an experience with an over priced trollop behind the black curtain.


A business opportunity for a new value chain?

Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Advanced Wordsmith
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Not much of a boyfriend if you are cumming in your pants. Serious question, if your "girlfriend" done the same, what would you think? x
Try before you buy x
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by MadMartigan


Of course. No one should be deluded enough to think the stripper is in the game trying to steal a girl's man by giving them a lap dance...

I suppose it all depends on the dynamics of your relationship and what or isn't ok, but if you're in the more traditional monogamy type, I can't imagine it'd be ok either way...

Not sure dating a guy who needs a lot of strip club fixes is the type you settle down with.


I think these are good points. There is NO doubt in my mind that anyone being PAID to grind up against my man is remotely interested in being his new girlfriend. I'm not that naive and that's not where I have an issue. It isn't about HER as much as it is about HIM.

Again, there is a big difference between visiting once in a while for shits and giggles and it's a whole other thing if he's a habitual lap lackey who enjoys taking them too far where he has no problem walking out of the club with a wet stain in his trousers (which is gross by the way...he might as well have pulled out his cock and cum in a cocktail napkin at least he would have saved me from having to wash out his dried up nut sauce!).

I too have been to strip clubs with mixed company and once with a partner and it was entertaining if nothing else so I'm not speaking from the point of view of some jealous close-minded man-wrangler. Like most things in life, there has to be some boundaries when it comes to MOST monogamous relationships and unless you have a special arrangement where these types of activities are perfectly acceptable and goes both ways, it's really not a relationship-enhancing move in my humble opinion.

And just as MadMartigan said, if he's a guy who needs a strip fix and frequents them more often than not, he's definitely NOT someone I care to keep around.
Active Ink Slinger
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NO
Active Ink Slinger
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NO
Alpha Blonde
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Quote by dpw


I loved the overpriced trollop line!


Except that it judges the wrong person.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Dancing_Doll


Except that it judges the wrong person.

Maybe but have you no sense of humour?
Alpha Blonde
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Quote by dpw

Maybe but have you no sense of humour?


That's what the smirky-tongue emoticon is for. I should just go back to using 'lol's.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Dancing_Doll


That's what the smirky-tongue emoticon is for. I should just go back to using 'lol's.

Sorry about that, I wondered why the guy that needs a haircut was the. I'm useless with all these, I had to google all the text speak!
Raised on Blackroot
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Quote by Dancing_Doll


That's what the smirky-tongue emoticon is for. I should just go back to using 'lol's.


I don't even understand that emoticon with the leaves coming out of its head.

It is a plant person emoticon?

But back to "trollops."

Everyone makes money any way they can in this shitty world. Unless you're killing, stealing, embezzling, or all that kinda shit that screws other people over for your gain, I'm not gonna judge.

They provide a service. What's worse honestly? Paying or receiving?