Imagine a situation where you are with your man at a public place, and some hoolligans say something dirty to you.
Option a is just ignore them and walk away.
Option b is your boyfriend reacts in a violent way, (just as he is supposed to do), and gets seriously beaten up.
Which one would you prefer? Would you secretly feel dissapointed if he went for option a? Would you feel bad but secretly proud if he went for option b?
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Defending you?
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Alpha Blonde
Depends on what was said. If it was just a dirty comment or cat-call, I really wouldn't care.
I've had my ass grabbed in a crowded club while walking through a dance floor with a boyfriend on many occasions. I don't really acknowledge it, nor do I alert my boyfriend, because I don't see any point to it. Some heavy traffic clubs or raves can get a little crazy. Most of the time I wouldn't even be able to identify what guy did it. For the most part, its not really a big deal.
And if it was some sort of overt comment that my boyfriend heard, I would still probably prefer option A... I think violence over stupid stuff like this is kind of low class and not worth it. There is always going to be some loser saying something. Besides, these days you don't know who the offending guy is affiliated with or what he might be carrying (ie. weapon) or be willing to do in a 'fight'.
The easiest situation is just to walk away. Words are irrelevant when it comes to your personal safety (and life).
I've had my ass grabbed in a crowded club while walking through a dance floor with a boyfriend on many occasions. I don't really acknowledge it, nor do I alert my boyfriend, because I don't see any point to it. Some heavy traffic clubs or raves can get a little crazy. Most of the time I wouldn't even be able to identify what guy did it. For the most part, its not really a big deal.
And if it was some sort of overt comment that my boyfriend heard, I would still probably prefer option A... I think violence over stupid stuff like this is kind of low class and not worth it. There is always going to be some loser saying something. Besides, these days you don't know who the offending guy is affiliated with or what he might be carrying (ie. weapon) or be willing to do in a 'fight'.
The easiest situation is just to walk away. Words are irrelevant when it comes to your personal safety (and life).
Moderator
I'd choose option A every time. It shows more strength of character for a man to be able to rein in his temper and stay in control of the situation, rather than start throwing punches.
Active Ink Slinger
There is a "zone" of indifference that goes along with your decision.. an old adage goes like this.. "a guy runs up and down the street in front of my house naked.. I could care less.. but that same naked guy comes into my living room.. then I will be forced to remedy the situation"... my point being something being said from across the room or in a mall means nothing.. but come within my "zone" ie.. too close to my family.. well.. I don't know how many of them it would take to put me down.. but we'd find out..
Lisa is right. It can take more to walk away than it can for a guy to loose his cool. I'm more impressed with a guy who can brush off a dumb ass comment.
Now on the other hand if a guy were to get physical with me he had better jump in.
Now on the other hand if a guy were to get physical with me he had better jump in.
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Just talking bout this now with my girlfriend and to be honest for a stupid comment chances are I would probly tell them to fuck off and be on our way but all bets are off if they even remotely try to touch her and whether or not I get my ass kicked I am still gonna step in. No one is gonna lay a hand on my woman.
Miss Sassy Pants
Quote by bikebum1975
Just talking bout this now with my girlfriend and to be honest for a stupid comment chances are I would probly tell them to fuck off and be on our way but all bets are off if they even remotely try to touch her and whether or not I get my ass kicked I am still gonna step in. No one is gonna lay a hand on my woman.
Bravo
Active Ink Slinger
If I can just let it go, I let it go. But I did have one situation where my date kept getting her ass grabbed by some guys at a party, so I had to throw a punch to get the message across. No fight, just one punch, but it was enough to finally get them to back off.
I have no reason to defend myself really, defend my family yes, and you will always come second when it comes to them no matter what the stakes. But when it comes to myself, i will ignore you if you are just trying to be a smart ass. if it is a genuine topic, i will debate it with you, but never defend myself... throw a punch though, and you will lose..
Internet Sensation
None of your options.
Really there is no such thing as "reacts in a violent way, (just as he is supposed to do)"
Never is a man supposed to react in a violent way, unless he needs to defend his own life. Though how often do you encounter a bear who wants to kill you.
Really there is no such thing as "reacts in a violent way, (just as he is supposed to do)"
Never is a man supposed to react in a violent way, unless he needs to defend his own life. Though how often do you encounter a bear who wants to kill you.
Quote by javier
Imagine a situation where you are with your man at a public place, and some hoolligans say something dirty to you.
Option a is just ignore them and walk away.
Option b is your boyfriend reacts in a violent way, (just as he is supposed to do), and gets seriously beaten up.
Which one would you prefer? Would you secretly feel dissapointed if he went for option a? Would you feel bad but secretly proud if he went for option b?
Wait. All of your options are based on the assumption that this is between men, one the aggresor, one defending what is 'his'.
Why is he 'supposed' to react in a violent way?
That means it isn't about the woman being in danger, but the man's 'property' being threatened, along with his perception of it and the need to 'defend' it that is threatened.
After all, did it ever occur to you to ask how a woman on her own, without male companionship would deal with a situation of this sort? Or how about having an option as to how she would deal with it, even with her man along?
Machismo -- the need of men in a society of men, to prove their manhood to one another.
Quote by Catnip
None of your options.
Really there is no such thing as "reacts in a violent way, (just as he is supposed to do)"
Never is a man supposed to react in a violent way, unless he needs to defend his own life. Though how often do you encounter a bear who wants to kill you.
Exactly, and even then you want to have pepper spray and the means to get away quickly. The bear you run into is more likely to be a mamma bear defending her cubs than a macho male bear; mamma bear has already trashed his ursine ass, I suspect.
Active Ink Slinger
Neither would happen with me I love dirty boys and would cat call right back at them with the hubby rolling his eyes! hehehe
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Active Ink Slinger
I want my man to be a real man and do what he needs to do!!!
Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
I have been to places of incredible danger, where being armed was being prudent. I've had to deal with unexpected violence. I have a friend who lived in Zimbabwe up by the Mozambique border. She went armed almost everywhere. There are people who make cat calls etc. only to provoke you into violence. There is no true one size fits all set of behaviors to deal with violence or provocation. When you enter the danger zone you have to use your head. Analyze and execute, act first if you have to. Sometimes do nothing.
Sometimes women can take care of themselves.
Erica knew how to take care of herself, the kind of woman I like. We had a passionate, if not somewhat tempestuous relationship that was meant only for a season, but what a season that was. We were in Greenwich Village fucking around, two young and naive free spirits. One thing led to another and we ended up sitting at a picnic table drinking wine with four guys. The venue was a fenced in vacant lot mini park with a couple of basketball hoops. Erica sat at the table opposite from me and furthest from the gate. We had been laughing and talking when things became interesting.
One guy started talking about the quality of Erica's tits and their effect on his libido. Of course his language was crude and provocative. While their attention was focused on Erica, I stood up casually and fortunately unnoticed thinking about my options in this increasingly dangerous situation when an opening came.
Erica, looked at me, stood up and said, “What the fuck is this all about. Who do you think I am your fucking bitch or something. Who the fuck are you to be talking about my tits like that.”, all the while moving around the table towards me. I knew instinctively to be quiet and let Erica continue her rap keeping the attention on her as we backed away toward the gate and out onto the city streets. She had distracted them, if I had jumped in the dynamic would have changed to male on male territorial bullshit.
The moral of this story is that every situation has to be evaluated on its own terms. In this case these guys did not expect a woman to defend herself thus it confused them long enough for us to get away. Had I jumped in when Erica had it under control, I would have changed the dynamics and attention onto myself. Where Erica had confused them temporally, my actions would have been a direct challenge and threat. The reality of violence would have been forthcoming. In this situation we used our heads, worked the situation together to our advantage. Awareness of your environment will dictate the proper response. Violence is a solution only in the most dire of circumstances.
Sometimes women can take care of themselves.
Erica knew how to take care of herself, the kind of woman I like. We had a passionate, if not somewhat tempestuous relationship that was meant only for a season, but what a season that was. We were in Greenwich Village fucking around, two young and naive free spirits. One thing led to another and we ended up sitting at a picnic table drinking wine with four guys. The venue was a fenced in vacant lot mini park with a couple of basketball hoops. Erica sat at the table opposite from me and furthest from the gate. We had been laughing and talking when things became interesting.
One guy started talking about the quality of Erica's tits and their effect on his libido. Of course his language was crude and provocative. While their attention was focused on Erica, I stood up casually and fortunately unnoticed thinking about my options in this increasingly dangerous situation when an opening came.
Erica, looked at me, stood up and said, “What the fuck is this all about. Who do you think I am your fucking bitch or something. Who the fuck are you to be talking about my tits like that.”, all the while moving around the table towards me. I knew instinctively to be quiet and let Erica continue her rap keeping the attention on her as we backed away toward the gate and out onto the city streets. She had distracted them, if I had jumped in the dynamic would have changed to male on male territorial bullshit.
The moral of this story is that every situation has to be evaluated on its own terms. In this case these guys did not expect a woman to defend herself thus it confused them long enough for us to get away. Had I jumped in when Erica had it under control, I would have changed the dynamics and attention onto myself. Where Erica had confused them temporally, my actions would have been a direct challenge and threat. The reality of violence would have been forthcoming. In this situation we used our heads, worked the situation together to our advantage. Awareness of your environment will dictate the proper response. Violence is a solution only in the most dire of circumstances.
I am against violence but every action it is followed by reaction.
It has been a while since I fought this kind of battles, of course only verbally. I learned that if I am defending myself from 'violent' people in a presence of my man I degrade him, so what I do is ignore him/them. If they just talk I do not care if they become physical I expect my man to step in.
I know that this sound weird because we live in emancipation time and this statement brings ladies back in the previous century but it works for me perfectly.
It has been a while since I fought this kind of battles, of course only verbally. I learned that if I am defending myself from 'violent' people in a presence of my man I degrade him, so what I do is ignore him/them. If they just talk I do not care if they become physical I expect my man to step in.
I know that this sound weird because we live in emancipation time and this statement brings ladies back in the previous century but it works for me perfectly.
Quote by Kyle
I have been to places of incredible danger, where being armed was being prudent. I've had to deal with unexpected violence. I have a friend who lived in Zimbabwe up by the Mozambique border. She went armed almost everywhere. There are people who make cat calls etc. only to provoke you into violence. There is no true one size fits all set of behaviors to deal with violence or provocation. When you enter the danger zone you have to use your head. Analyze and execute, act first if you have to. Sometimes do nothing.
Sometimes women can take care of themselves.
Erica knew how to take care of herself, the kind of woman I like. We had a passionate, if not somewhat tempestuous relationship that was meant only for a season, but what a season that was. We were in Greenwich Village fucking around, two young and naive free spirits. One thing led to another and we ended up sitting at a picnic table drinking wine with four guys. The venue was a fenced in vacant lot mini park with a couple of basketball hoops. Erica sat at the table opposite from me and furthest from the gate. We had been laughing and talking when things became interesting.
One guy started talking about the quality of Erica's tits and their effect on his libido. Of course his language was crude and provocative. While their attention was focused on Erica, I stood up casually and fortunately unnoticed thinking about my options in this increasingly dangerous situation when an opening came.
Erica, looked at me, stood up and said, “What the fuck is this all about. Who do you think I am your fucking bitch or something. Who the fuck are you to be talking about my tits like that.”, all the while moving around the table towards me. I knew instinctively to be quiet and let Erica continue her rap keeping the attention on her as we backed away toward the gate and out onto the city streets. She had distracted them, if I had jumped in the dynamic would have changed to male on male territorial bullshit.
The moral of this story is that every situation has to be evaluated on its own terms. In this case these guys did not expect a woman to defend herself thus it confused them long enough for us to get away. Had I jumped in when Erica had it under control, I would have changed the dynamics and attention onto myself. Where Erica had confused them temporally, my actions would have been a direct challenge and threat. The reality of violence would have been forthcoming. In this situation we used our heads, worked the situation together to our advantage. Awareness of your environment will dictate the proper response. Violence is a solution only in the most dire of circumstances.
Thank you. That says so much about the intricacies of any given situation than any of the rest of us have expressed.
Quote by bikebum1975
Just talking bout this now with my girlfriend and to be honest for a stupid comment chances are I would probly tell them to fuck off and be on our way but all bets are off if they even remotely try to touch her and whether or not I get my ass kicked I am still gonna step in. No one is gonna lay a hand on my woman.
Yeah, ha ha "whistle, whistle" I love your passion for your woman. Just please don't get hurt though.
Quote by Jebru
If I can just let it go, I let it go. But I did have one situation where my date kept getting her ass grabbed by some guys at a party, so I had to throw a punch to get the message across. No fight, just one punch, but it was enough to finally get them to back off.
It's funny, responding to this question before all the guy's put there two penneth in so to speak, and then reading what the guy's would do and comparing that to my earlier response; how come I love the male protectivness now, when before I was like "Oh, I prefere my man to walk away!"
Hmmmm maybe I do want a man to fight for me and protect me. I'm going to have to re-think this question.O7EpoX6JFrPY9l2A
Quote by gypsymothQuote by javier
Imagine a situation where you are with your man at a public place, and some hoolligans say something dirty to you.
Option a is just ignore them and walk away.
Option b is your boyfriend reacts in a violent way, (just as he is supposed to do), and gets seriously beaten up.
Which one would you prefer? Would you secretly feel dissapointed if he went for option a? Would you feel bad but secretly proud if he went for option b?
Wait. All of your options are based on the assumption that this is between men, one the aggresor, one defending what is 'his'.
Why is he 'supposed' to react in a violent way?
That means it isn't about the woman being in danger, but the man's 'property' being threatened, along with his perception of it and the need to 'defend' it that is threatened.
After all, did it ever occur to you to ask how a woman on her own, without male companionship would deal with a situation of this sort? Or how about having an option as to how she would deal with it, even with her man along?
Machismo -- the need of men in a society of men, to prove their manhood to one another.
I have been single for .....yrs haha and I had more hassle from men when I was married as opposed to being single.
So being single there isn't an issue in fighting men off that are bothering me, I haven't come across it.
Quote by Kyle
I have been to places of incredible danger, where being armed was being prudent. I've had to deal with unexpected violence. I have a friend who lived in Zimbabwe up by the Mozambique border. She went armed almost everywhere. There are people who make cat calls etc. only to provoke you into violence. There is no true one size fits all set of behaviors to deal with violence or provocation. When you enter the danger zone you have to use your head. Analyze and execute, act first if you have to. Sometimes do nothing.
Sometimes women can take care of themselves.
Erica knew how to take care of herself, the kind of woman I like. We had a passionate, if not somewhat tempestuous relationship that was meant only for a season, but what a season that was. We were in Greenwich Village fucking around, two young and naive free spirits. One thing led to another and we ended up sitting at a picnic table drinking wine with four guys. The venue was a fenced in vacant lot mini park with a couple of basketball hoops. Erica sat at the table opposite from me and furthest from the gate. We had been laughing and talking when things became interesting.
One guy started talking about the quality of Erica's tits and their effect on his libido. Of course his language was crude and provocative. While their attention was focused on Erica, I stood up casually and fortunately unnoticed thinking about my options in this increasingly dangerous situation when an opening came.
Erica, looked at me, stood up and said, “What the fuck is this all about. Who do you think I am your fucking bitch or something. Who the fuck are you to be talking about my tits like that.”, all the while moving around the table towards me. I knew instinctively to be quiet and let Erica continue her rap keeping the attention on her as we backed away toward the gate and out onto the city streets. She had distracted them, if I had jumped in the dynamic would have changed to male on male territorial bullshit.
The moral of this story is that every situation has to be evaluated on its own terms. In this case these guys did not expect a woman to defend herself thus it confused them long enough for us to get away. Had I jumped in when Erica had it under control, I would have changed the dynamics and attention onto myself. Where Erica had confused them temporally, my actions would have been a direct challenge and threat. The reality of violence would have been forthcoming. In this situation we used our heads, worked the situation together to our advantage. Awareness of your environment will dictate the proper response. Violence is a solution only in the most dire of circumstances.
Really good point you made there.
Internet Sensation
Quote by She
I am against violence but every action it is followed by reaction.
It has been a while since I fought this kind of battles, of course only verbally. I learned that if I am defending myself from 'violent' people in a presence of my man I degrade him, so what I do is ignore him/them. If they just talk I do not care if they become physical I expect my man to step in.
I know that this sound weird because we live in emancipation time and this statement brings ladies back in the previous century but it works for me perfectly.
it's what works for you and if you're happy with it, it could be from the time of cavemen and, I wouldn't want to change it for you. Moderator
Quote by HoneyBee000
Hmmmm maybe I do want a man to fight for me and protect me. I'm going to have to re-think this question.n8E3PdOIxDeOLgiV
I don't really see it as him not being protective if he walks away. If he chooses to get involved in a physical fight, leaving you on the sidelines while fists are flying, would you stand by and watch him get beaten up by a group of guys, or jump in and try to help him? Chances are you'd want to help and most likely end up being hurt, too!
If he walks away, it stops both of you from being harmed and shows he's in control of the situation...in my opinion anyway.
Active Ink Slinger
I would be proud of him for having enough self restraint to just walk away. I don’t see it as being tough to get involved in a scuffle, it can be a weakness showing a lack of control. If it was only dirty talk, I don’t think it would justify starting an all out punch-up.
*The Dark Room*
How do you talk to an Angel available from Amazon.
Quote by gypsymothQuote by javier
Imagine a situation where you are with your man at a public place, and some hoolligans say something dirty to you.
Option a is just ignore them and walk away.
Option b is your boyfriend reacts in a violent way, (just as he is supposed to do), and gets seriously beaten up.
Which one would you prefer? Would you secretly feel dissapointed if he went for option a? Would you feel bad but secretly proud if he went for option b?
Wait. All of your options are based on the assumption that this is between men, one the aggresor, one defending what is 'his'.
Why is he 'supposed' to react in a violent way?
That means it isn't about the woman being in danger, but the man's 'property' being threatened, along with his perception of it and the need to 'defend' it that is threatened.
After all, did it ever occur to you to ask how a woman on her own, without male companionship would deal with a situation of this sort? Or how about having an option as to how she would deal with it, even with her man along?
Machismo -- the need of men in a society of men, to prove their manhood to one another.
Not really. In a situation where the woman is the ending receiver of some sort of mistreatment by a third party and her man is arround, it's just logical to think that the man is supposed to do anything about it, not because he feels his property being threatened but just plain instict of protection. And his options are basically two: fight or leave.
In some scenarios it would be reasonable to fight, in others to leave, so I just wondered what a woman would think about a man reacting in either of those ways to some agression.
Well I think it depends on what is said, and who says it. If it is some young punk kid who thinks he is all that, then walk away, he is not worth it. Now if it is a older guy who knows better, than yes say something, but both men should be man enough not to start a fight. Come on you can defend your woman with out fighting.
In fact, I dont think there's any new, let alone machoist, about this hit or run reaction, everybody behaves like that since we were living in caves and hunting dinosaurs (or whatever they hunted).
If a mother goes walking down the street with her kid and some nutjob assaults her wont she hit or run? If granny goes walking down the street and some nutjob assaults her wont she hit or run? Obviouly you'd expect a mother or granny just running away scared, but if the nutjob cornered them in a cul-de-sac they'll definetely hit, any mother would kill at the sight of somebody hurting her kid.
If a mother goes walking down the street with her kid and some nutjob assaults her wont she hit or run? If granny goes walking down the street and some nutjob assaults her wont she hit or run? Obviouly you'd expect a mother or granny just running away scared, but if the nutjob cornered them in a cul-de-sac they'll definetely hit, any mother would kill at the sight of somebody hurting her kid.