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Are Cougars Real?

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ShyLittleWolf
Active Ink Slinger
Hey, I'm a 21 year old guy and I've always kinda liked older women. My friends think its gross so I tend not to tell people. But I was wondering if cougars do exists.

I'd love to meet one...well be the cub of one actually, but I don't know if anyone would take me. I don't know much about them not matter how hard I look. So I was wondering if the girls on here could clear some things up for me.

If you have the time that is.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante


They do exist! But they are very rare to spot.

They can hit pretty hard with their claws. Just remember to maintain eye contact. That is probably the most important rule when facing a cougar (or any number of them, they like to fight in packs.) Also another important strategy is to roar, this will intimidate them. If the challenge is accepted the cougar will roar too as a sign to commence battle. The best way to start off the fight is to run straight at them and flap your arms while still roaring (hard to do, but easily accomplished with a few weeks training.) The cougar will either be scared off at this point, or ready to take you on. If the latter is true, prepare for a long fight because once a female cougar decided to attack, she's in it to win it.
MadMartigan
Raised on Blackroot
Cougars are scared little fuckers. Well, scared of house cats and house dogs.

At least, that's what I learned years ago from....





When it comes down to retrievers and pitbulls, the kitty just had no chance. That ole' boy Shadow was the man....er, dog.
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
They're make believe...like unicorns.

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Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
If it's an older black woman is it politically incorrect to call her a panther?
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by Magical_felix
If it's an older black woman is it politically incorrect to call her a panther?


Oh my God.

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Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012


Oh my God.


Answer the question.
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by Magical_felix


Answer the question.


Who owns your life?

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Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012


Who owns your life?


What? Are you drunk or something?

If it's an older black woman is it politically incorrect to call her a panther?
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by Magical_felix


What? Are you drunk or something?

If it's an older black woman is it politically incorrect to call her a panther?


If a panther falls out of a tree and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

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Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012


If a panther falls out of a tree and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?


Are you talking about an older black woman falling out of a tree or like a panther panther?
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012


If a panther falls out of a tree and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?


This philosophical question cannot be answered without thoroughly established axioms and postulates. Are we talking about a pink panther or a black one?

- Pink panthers make a sound

- Black panthers do not

My reasoning :

1. Some things are caused.
2. Anything caused is caused by another.
3. If some things are caused and anything caused is caused by another, then either there’s a first cause or there’s an infinite series of past causes.
4. There’s no infinite series of past causes.

Therefore
5. Black panthers DO NOT make a sound in such a situation
Dudealicious
Wise Ass
Quote by SereneProdigy


This philosophical question cannot be answered without thoroughly established axioms and postulates. Are we talking about a pink panther or a black one?

- Pink panthers make a sound

- Black panthers do not



Was that meant to be a "funny"?
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Guest
Lurker
Lets find out if there's a noise by hauling Felix up and tree and pushing him out...oh he sez he's a cat. But he sez lotsa crap. Can we believe it all?
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by Kristind
Can we believe it all?


Yes.
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by Magical_felix


Are you talking about an older black woman falling out of a tree or like a panther panther?


Why would an older woman climb a tree? Now you're just being ridiculous.

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Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by Dudealicious


Pssshhh...Was that meant to be a "funny"? oh em gee...
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
Quote by Kristind
Can we believe it all?

I recently came to the conclusion that everything Felix says can be trusted, yes. Everything. The cat speaks the truth, always. Learn from him.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by SereneProdigy

I recently came to the conclusion that everything Felix says can be trusted, yes. Everything. The cat speaks the truth, always. Learn from him.


You're new here. I like Felix but know him just a little bit better than that. Back to my book.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Look, all kidding aside... You guys can tell your jokes and laugh, laughing like a bunch of school girls on the playground.

But I asked a question and no one has answered it for me.

Quote by Magical_felix
If it's an older black woman is it politically incorrect to call her a panther?


C'mon, lets talk turkey here.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
Quote by Kristind


You're new here. I like Felix but know him just a little bit better than that. Back to my book.


I envy you, sincerely. I've only known him for 3 weeks and I feel my mind is about to explode by the amount of wisdom he offered me so far.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
Quote by Magical_felix
If it's an older black woman is it politically incorrect to call her a panther?


No it is not. In fact, when you'll be facing such a specimen political reasoning will be the least of your worry. Trust me.

'Panthers' and 'Cougars' do not share the same basic instincts, and a clear distinction therefore has to be made to ensure their respective capture.

You surely don't want to approach a Panther like you would a Cougar, and vice versa.

- Taming a Cougar requires previous training, patience and tact.

- Taming a Panther requires sheer force, intuition and a whip.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Quote by SereneProdigy


No it is not. In fact, when you'll be facing such a specimen political reasoning will be the least of your worry. Trust me.

'Panthers' and 'Cougars' do not share the same basic instincts, and a clear distinction therefore has to be made to ensure their respective capture.

You surely don't want to approach a Panther like you would a Cougar, and vice versa.

- Taming a Cougar requires previous training, patience and tact.

- Taming a Panther requires sheer force, intuition and a whip.


This just sounds racist.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
Quote by Magical_felix


This just sounds racist.


Why would it be? I enjoy taming both equally. I also ensure I do not harm them in any way during the process. This requires a lot of technique, but is achievable.

I respect these creatures, hence my interest in them. The distinction is made for their own good.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Dudealicious


Was that meant to be a "funny"?


i got a smile out of it - come on, Dude, lighten up here. quirky funny perhaps, but i dig quirky funny.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Magical_felix
If it's an older black woman is it politically incorrect to call her a panther?


yes. next, please.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
Quote by sprite


i got a smile out of it - come on, Dude, lighten up here. quirky funny perhaps, but i dig quirky funny.


I think Dude is not feeling very well since the last few days. Don't mind him, like I do.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Dudealicious


Was that before "he" edited his posts!?!


*shrugs* "i" read what "you" quoted and "i" read what is now currently in the forum. illuminate "me" on what "i've" missed.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.