Afraid to orgasm

25 Feb 2013

Hey everyone,

Just a little question, I've been sexually active for about half a year now but I've never allowed myself to cum with my partner.
The problem is that whenever we're having sex, it feels like I have to pee or, more embarissingly, have to poo. Especially the latter really bugs me seeing as the feeling emerges whenever the big O is nearing. sad10

Does anyone else recognize this? If so what do you do?
(Note, going to the bathroom before having sex doesn't reduce the feeling at all.)

All advice is extremely welcome!

25 Feb 2013

I know this is ask the gals, but I have questions which may help with appropriate answers. You say you've "never allowed yourself to cum with your partner.", have you cum while playing solo/masturbating? Do you get the same feelings of needing the bathroom when you cum then? Is it only during sex with your partner? During intercourse, fingering, or oral. Any of the three or all three? Specifics help.

When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates

25 Feb 2013

I only have these feelings during "regular" intercourse, manual or oral stimulation doesn't seem to trigger it.
Though I do have to admit that my body is a bit reluctant to orgasm at all, even when I'm masturbating but that's another point of discussion.
Sometimes the same feelings emerge when he uses three or more fingers so my own guess is that it's the size which stimulates the anal wall or something like that.

Thanks for making this more specific smile

25 Feb 2013

Quote by MissMary
I only have these feelings during "regular" intercourse, manual or oral stimulation doesn't seem to trigger it.
Though I do have to admit that my body is a bit reluctant to orgasm at all, even when I'm masturbating but that's another point of discussion.
Sometimes the same feelings emerge when he uses three or more fingers so my own guess is that it's the size which stimulates the anal wall or something like that.

Thanks for making this more specific

Could you be nervous? This sounds silly but all this reminded me of was when i used to smoke out my bedroom window behind my parents back! As soon as i lit the ciggy i would get the feeling of having to go! It was my nerves! Can't say i've ever had it with orgasm on the cards but it could very well be! xx

26 Feb 2013

Quote by crazydiamond

Could you be nervous? This sounds silly but all this reminded me of was when i used to smoke out my bedroom window behind my parents back! As soon as i lit the ciggy i would get the feeling of having to go! It was my nerves! Can't say i've ever had it with orgasm on the cards but it could very well be! xx

Same thing here, lean out the bedroom window, light the ciggy and same feeling. I believe it's nerves.

26 Feb 2013

The vagina and rectum are only separated by a thin membrane. It is not uncommon for some women to have this sensation. I would ask do you have constipation? This may mean your "lower" bowels are not completely empty. Also, some women have hemorriods which also causes more pressure in that area. What we often suggest to clients that you try a different position. Female on top or side lying positions help. If your partner is on top it adds extra pressure on the digestive system and the bladder thus causes the feeling. The reason it seems to get worse during an orgasm is because your muscles are contracting. Yes, some of the muscles that are used during bowel movements. This is why some women will poop when having a baby not to mention the pressure on that area. Try to relax. If you are just going into sex without adequate foreplay and relaxation your are tensing up. That will make it more likely. Get online and research more, plus you also need to learn more about your own body. The more you know the better sex will be so find a good book and begin reading. I hope this helps...

26 Feb 2013

i think this is very normal

so how about playtime with a toy with your partner and he cannot do anything but hold the toy?

just him getting you to cum..with him there..but not putting any pressure on you

and then later you relieving him for a bit

until you feel good or cum so many times you feel ok

take the "sex" part out of it and go at it like "virgins"

can you try that??

26 Feb 2013

Quote by MissMary
All advice is extremely welcome!

You might think about removing your pet garter snake from your cleavage cubby hole...I'd probably shit too, if I saw & experienced that.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

26 Feb 2013

Quote by WellMadeMale

You might think about removing your pet garter snake from your cleavage cubby hole...I'd probably shit too, if I saw & experienced that.

hahaha that caught my attention too as it goes!

22 Apr 2013

Quote by Notenough
The vagina and rectum are only separated by a thin membrane. It is not uncommon for some women to have this sensation. I would ask do you have constipation? This may mean your "lower" bowels are not completely empty. Also, some women have hemorriods which also causes more pressure in that area. What we often suggest to clients that you try a different position. Female on top or side lying positions help. If your partner is on top it adds extra pressure on the digestive system and the bladder thus causes the feeling. The reason it seems to get worse during an orgasm is because your muscles are contracting. Yes, some of the muscles that are used during bowel movements. This is why some women will poop when having a baby not to mention the pressure on that area. Try to relax. If you are just going into sex without adequate foreplay and relaxation your are tensing up. That will make it more likely. Get online and research more, plus you also need to learn more about your own body. The more you know the better sex will be so find a good book and begin reading. I hope this helps...

i agree

22 Apr 2013

You could discuss it with your partner and tell him you'd like to just "go with it" whatever the consequences. You'll probably find there won't be any and once you've had one, you will want more. I find this a problem in anal sex when eventually I just want to go because of all the pressure.

" I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer"
Woody Allen