I'm gonna make a couple of assumptions: I think depression is a little more common here on Lush than in the real world. I don't know why that is, though I have some ideas. I also think depression is more common among writers that the general population (I have some ideas about that too, having to do with why you became a writer in the first place, and being a lifelong "outsider," observing and taking notes in your head).
I've certainly had a history with it, though I'm doing pretty well these days.
Anyway, here's my question: is depression a friend or an enemy when it comes to writing? Does depression sap you of the energy to write and read? Or does it give you something to escape into, so it drives you? Does creating something from a blank page give you a feeling of self-worth and accomplishment that helps you out of depression? Or are your dark times likely to make you feel everything you write is a piece of sh1t?
Finally: do you think depression is a major reason why you write?
Tintinnabulation - first place (Free Spirit) Comet Q - second place (Quick and Risqué Sex) Amnesia - third place (Le Noir Erotique)
Unknown User
I read your thoughts and questions but I have nothing to add to it as I don't consider myself a writer nor do I suffer from depression.
Hopefully others can speak freely.
Unknown User
I don't believe folks on here are any more nor any less depressed than the general population. I do believe they are more open about it on here than most other places due to the fact they have found a safe haven to open up concerning their depression and have found understanding and loving support.
My wife is bi-polar as is her sister and her brother is a paranoid schizophrenic who has been in and out of institutions since he was in his teens. He's now in his early sixties with stage five kidney failure (and lucky us, we're his caregiver and trustees). I was diagnosed with Dysthyana which is long term low level depression (aka persistent depressive disorder) and have been for so long it feels normal to me.
Does it help in writing or in any of the other arts? From the number of writers and artist that have apparently been depressed it would appear so. However, I have no data to support that. Writing and art is used sometimes as a way to express their emotions and tool to combat depression.
My wife is an artist as was her mother and uncle. Her sister has an artistic ability and sometimes draws and paint. Her brother writes in his journals, and he has a ton of them stashed away with some very very strange thoughts albeit none violent. Me? I write for fun and the mental exercise.
Hope this helps some.
JackStay
Unknown User
Quote by Ensorceled Prompted by a writer friend's depression.
I'm gonna make a couple of assumptions: I think depression is a little more common here on Lush than in the real world. I don't know why that is, though I have some ideas. I also think depression is more common among writers that the general population (I have some ideas about that too, having to do with why you became a writer in the first place, and being a lifelong "outsider," observing and taking notes in your head).
I've certainly had a history with it, though I'm doing pretty well these days.
Anyway, here's my question: is depression a friend or an enemy when it comes to writing? Does depression sap you of the energy to write and read? Or does it give you something to escape into, so it drives you? Does creating something from a blank page give you a feeling of self-worth and accomplishment that helps you out of depression? Or are your dark times likely to make you feel everything you write is a piece of sh1t?
Finally: do you think depression is a major reason why you write?
Like you, depression and I have issues. And like you, I have it mostly licked these days.
But when the Black Dog comes sniffing around — as it sometimes does —I can usually send it packing. Sometimes though, I don't realise it's slouching out the back, and then I find it there and need one of those big loop things dog catchers have, try to hurry it out the side door.
Sometimes it pretends to be house trained, is very quiet, stays in its basket.
It's sniffing about now. Has been for days. Came with the cold I caught last week, the fear this might be Covid. Sneaked right in and yapped about mortality.
That unwelcome reminder of age — the nagging sense I've wasted my life. If only I'd been the person I am now when I was twenty-one.
And once it's padding around the kitchen, it's not so much a question of does it sap me of energy: it's more like looking up at an insurmountable wall. A feeling of: What's the fucking point? I'll never get over that!.
And then the writing just stops. Dead. Zilch. Not a-a-fucking-dickybird! A loss of faith in the mystery of creativity.
My periods of depression do not usually correlate with creativity. Writing itself, at times, wasn't helpful because while I was dwelling feelings of hopelessness and anxiety while I was writing. It wasn't until I shared some of my journal entries with my therapist that I realized what I was doing.
I think the danger of slipping back into that bad habit is why I don't write when I'm depressed or sad anymore. If I'm super depressed, it comes out in my work and my work is not so great because of it.
So in my case, writing is something I avoid now when depressed. Not because writing is bad for my depressions, but because my depressions are bad for my writing.
"The Punished Nonpartisan" <- Extreme BDSM and humiliation story. Heavy on plot. Served on a plate of political drama with a side of domestic terror. Currently Free download.
Jocelyn the Wicked <- futanari, fantasy fan fic, and some tentacles that escaped the laboratory
Is depression a friend of an enemy? I don't know yet. When I'm feeling 'down' or 'sad' then writing can be a good outlet. However, it comes through in what I write. That's not always a bad thing though, as when I'm jaded or cynical about life, it comes through in the characters and the worlds I create. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I write cynical, world-weary characters quite well.
Deep depression? No. Nothing much can help with those feelings, and generally, there's no motivation to do anything as well. Luca, I think used a brilliant metaphor, one that I and a lot of others can relate to. Because I think if depression were to take a form, then how he described it fits.
Like you, depression and I have issues. And like you, I have it mostly licked these days.
But when the Black Dog comes sniffing around — as it sometimes does —I can usually send it packing. Sometimes though, I don't realise it's slouching out the back, and then I find it there and need one of those big loop things dog catchers have, try to hurry it out the side door.
Sometimes it pretends to be house trained, is very quiet, stays in its basket.
It's sniffing about now. Has been for days. Came with the cold I caught last week, the fear this might be Covid. Sneaked right in and yapped about mortality.
That unwelcome reminder of age — the nagging sense I've wasted my life. If only I'd been the person I am now when I was twenty-one.
And once it's padding around the kitchen, it's not so much a question of does it sap me of energy: it's more like looking up at an insurmountable wall. A feeling of: What's the fucking point? I'll never get over that!.
And then the writing just stops. Dead. Zilch. Not a-a-fucking-dickybird! A loss of faith in the mystery of creativity.
Oooh. I feel much better for writing this!
Glad you feel better for writing this!
Yeah, I think you and I discussed this once, briefly, in the context of not following those thought you recognise will take you into the Hole, and following those thoughts that lift you out of it.
I know that feeling of once you hit the wall, writing stops dead. But before I get to that point, I'm learning is that writing is more helpful than not writing. I can nearly always get a sentence out. Maybe not a good one, but a sentence. And if I can do a sentence, I can do a paragraph. And if I can do a paragraph I can do a page.
I'm usually in the middle of a story, so depression won't alter the actual story. And I find that the sense of accomplishment in writing a page or three (the most I can do in a day is three pages) is usually enough to buoy me up. And if I wrote well, then that's pure gravy.
If I don't write, that's when things start to fall apart.
Thanks for responding!
Tintinnabulation - first place (Free Spirit) Comet Q - second place (Quick and Risqué Sex) Amnesia - third place (Le Noir Erotique)
Unknown User
Quote by Ensorceled
. . . I find that the sense of accomplishment in writing a page or three (the most I can do in a day is three pages) is usually enough to buoy me up. And if I wrote well, then that's pure gravy.
If I don't write, that's when things start to fall apart.
Good points. The effect on my mood that merely responding to your thread reinforces your point, a perfect example of how therapeutic the act of writing can be.
Having said, that I still can't think of a fucking-thing to write just at the moment.
I'm off to have a rummage on my hard drive. I find at times like this, digging up some stillborn fragment of past writing and playing around with it can set the creative juices flowing again.
Thanks for the thread. It's interesting to see the take of the other responders too.
I don't suffer from depression, but I do get depressed now and then, more so as I've gotten older (which is something I often discuss with my non-existent therapist). Depression is definitely an enemy when I write. I'll add, though, that the associated anger fuels me, for writing or anything else. Channeling anger keeps me from getting depressed and lifts me out.
"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, hey, this is pretty good."
I don’t know if this is related, but in a previous life I used to work with a lot of very successful and talented television comedy script writers. I was very surprised to find that as a group, they were some of the most depressed people I had ever met. I used to talk to them about it, and they felt that their depression made their writing more astute, honest and relatable, and therefore better quality.
I'm not really a writer, I just want to be one as I think it is a fine hobby.
My opinion is that writers, poets, musicians, and artists are more in touch with their emotions because they, by necessity, need to somehow convey that to others. All art is only art if it moves the observer, or viewer, or reader, on some emotional level. because we attempt to convey what we feel, how it moves us, and what we do about it in our writing we are more readily able to sense any emotional states within ourselves. Elation or depression, it doesn't matter. We evoke powerful emotion with our prose (well, you do, I am trying to learn) and because of that we feel all things much more intensely.
Am I a good witch, or a bad witch? History will decide
"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, hey, this is pretty good."
Love this, and yes, it happens to me quite a bit.
That's another tool: not judging your writing as you're writing it.
Krystal, I agree. I keep hearing the phrase "write for yourself" from people, and while that's good advice, the truer goal (to me) is to communicate with readers. I write for others, in an attempt to express something to them.
Tintinnabulation - first place (Free Spirit) Comet Q - second place (Quick and Risqué Sex) Amnesia - third place (Le Noir Erotique)
Quote by Ensorceled the truer goal (to me) is to communicate with readers. I write for others, in an attempt to express something to them.
1000% here... I write for me, but what really gets me is seeing the reaction to how a story makes someone feel. It is some kind of drug for me to know that something I wrote resonated or got someone going. While I write what gets me going for the most part, I keep coming back for the reactions. That truly helps.
Depression is a bit of a fog that rolls in on me here and there. I find that writing helps, exercise helps and forcing myself to be with others either in person or virtually helps. The pandemic took a bunch of that away last year and writing was my escape. I've spoken with a lot of writers here that consistency say that writing has been their therapy. I think it's a great tool, but just one of many. Now someone get me a fog horn... -LL
Remember, the Left Lingula is always closest to the heart & everyone deserves to have that heart full of love...
Depression is one of the reasons I've started writing. All those unsaid words, and feelings did come out as words, and right now depression is one of the reasons I can't write. It has made me feel so numb, and I cannot paint the feelings in the form of words.
Quote by MysticalWanderer Depression is one of the reasons I've started writing. All those unsaid words, and feelings did come out as words, and right now depression is one of the reasons I can't write. It has made me feel so numb, and I cannot paint the feelings in the form of words.
Hate that, and I've been there. It's so frustrating to know I could probably write myself out of the Hole, if only I had the strength/desire to write.
I really like what Jocelyn said: Not because writing is bad for my depressions, but because my depressions are bad for my writing. You gotta be careful to let the darkness enter your story. I write pretty dark to begin with, but having a plot beforehand, or at least a general plan, keeps me on track and not falling into self-indulgent pity and cynicism.
Tintinnabulation - first place (Free Spirit) Comet Q - second place (Quick and Risqué Sex) Amnesia - third place (Le Noir Erotique)
When depression is kicking my ass, writing for me is practically non-existent. I've even had times I tried to force myself to write while enveloped in darkness, and it ended up being a staring contest between my laptop and I.
My series is a result of my depression. I grew up in a physically violent household, and I was stuck until I finished my A-levels when I was nearly 19. I tried taking my own life at 18, and turned to writing, releasing my anger and frustrations through someone else because I had no-one to talk to at the time - I was immediately released from the hospital without any medication, therapy etc. I stopped writing it once I was out of the situation, but then I picked it back up, and I'm currently in the process of rewriting so my series has evolved since then.
I have on several occasions triggered myself when reading through the earlier parts which aren't on here though ? I did it a few days back, and I've been in an odd slump since.
I am not sure they are related, but I do write (my stories often include bisexual threesomes and hot, cummy kisses, if you like that sort of thing), and I have struggled with depression. That said, I can assure you that accomplishing ANYTHING useful while fighting depression is a frickin’ miracle.
I never write when I'm depressed. In fact, I don't want to do anything except sit and be comforted by my favorite books, films or comfort food. I write when I'm uber-confident, but being a perfectionist, I give up when I'm not reaching what I think I'm capable of, so I quit writing and table everything. Sometimes for months. Sometimes for years!
Unknown User
Quote by Ensorceled Prompted by a writer friend's depression.
I'm gonna make a couple of assumptions: I think depression is a little more common here on Lush than in the real world. I don't know why that is, though I have some ideas. I also think depression is more common among writers that the general population (I have some ideas about that too, having to do with why you became a writer in the first place, and being a lifelong "outsider," observing and taking notes in your head).
I've certainly had a history with it, though I'm doing pretty well these days.
Anyway, here's my question: is depression a friend or an enemy when it comes to writing? Does depression sap you of the energy to write and read? Or does it give you something to escape into, so it drives you? Does creating something from a blank page give you a feeling of self-worth and accomplishment that helps you out of depression? Or are your dark times likely to make you feel everything you write is a piece of sh1t?
Finally: do you think depression is a major reason why you write?
This is so complicated for me to answer. I’ll premise it with the fact that I have written several pieces of poetry and part of a short story, I like reading/listening to erotica sometimes, but I’m having trouble getting my own erotica written. I have treatment resistant depression and borderline personality disorder. So, in addition to the typical sadness and isolation of depression, I tend to feel discontent, somewhat impulsive, and irritable. So, I’m not satisfied with the plots for my stories or the progression. On the flip side, if/when I get into a really dark place, writing out my feelings helps. Just don’t know if anyone would want to read stories about lonely, sad masturbation. ?♀️?
Unknown User
For me, depression zaps all creativity. Writing stops. Everything stops. I wake up thinking, “oh God, here we go again” and wonder how I’m going to get through the day. It’s like living on autopilot and the mental and physical fatigue are crippling. So no, it doesn’t inspire writing at all, not even when it eases off. The happy thoughts that emerge on good days are my creative inspiration and the reason I write.
Anyway, here's my question: is depression a friend or an enemy when it comes to writing? Does depression sap you of the energy to write and read? Or does it give you something to escape into, so it drives you? Does creating something from a blank page give you a feeling of self-worth and accomplishment that helps you out of depression? Or are your dark times likely to make you feel everything you write is a piece of sh1t?
Finally: do you think depression is a major reason why you write?
Depression is both to me, depending on how bad it is. Usually, I write to escape sadness or negative thoughts. I learned a trick with my ADHD son. When he needed to study, I had him read his study guide out loud. It's hard to have thoughts on something other than what you are reading. His racing mind would stop when he read aloud. Same with writing. When I write, I'm silently reading the story in my head as I write it. So it's an escape. I became manic as a writer after my boyfriend and best girlfriend died in 2019 because when I wasn't writing I was grieving ... so I pretty continuously wrote to avoid grieving.
But as of late, the depression was the worst I have experienced and I lost my ability to focus on anything more than a few moments. When I was able to focus and tried to write, the depression would return in the form of a critical voice, telling me my writing was crap. I removed my story from the last competition because that voice was so loud after I published my piece.
So, mostly writing is an escape, but in extreme depression a hindrance. I probably write more when I have struggles/stresses in my life because that's when I need to create a happy, fantasy world in my stories. When everything's in order, I'm outside, with friends, doing what I want, and don't need to write what I wish I was doing. I think that is why many authors are introverts. Most extroverts would rather be "doing" than "writing about doing".
Writing is a major - call it tool - for me in dealing with depression. I discovered that three times in my life, once when on a college newspaper over forty-five years ago, the second time about fifteen years ago when I was experimenting with some screenplays, and the third time about four years ago when I was recovering from surgery. The last time I found various sites to post material on, which was a major motivation. I had a steady, consistent audience.When I was on that paper years ago, it only came out about ten times a year and there was a limited amount of space. With the Internet, the space is virtually unlimited and I have a backlog of material to post.
I had one setback in late 2019 and early 2020 when I had grief over the passing of a close relative. I almost stopped writing for a while. Then a therapist said to me, "Just give it fifteen minutes a day and see what happens." On the first day I did two hours, and then I was quickly back up to speed.
As of right now, today, this moment I need to modify my original response.
I am currently very depressed and the knowing architect of my own disaster. I also feel very bad for Dronette56 who had the immense displeasure of approving my writing.
I wrote because i was feeling depressed over what I did. It was, for me, a form of therapy. It helped somewhat. I can't say exactly how; but I feel better just getting my feelings out there.
With my recent experiences in mind I feel that I should modify my original response to include that I think that it also helps one to cope with any strong emotions; to put it into a more undertsandable perspective.
Am I a good witch, or a bad witch? History will decide
Depression is both to me, depending on how bad it is. Usually, I write to escape sadness or negative thoughts. I learned a trick with my ADHD son. When he needed to study, I had him read his study guide out loud. It's hard to have thoughts on something other than what you are reading. His racing mind would stop when he read aloud. Same with writing. When I write, I'm silently reading the story in my head as I write it. So it's an escape. I became manic as a writer after my boyfriend and best girlfriend died in 2019 because when I wasn't writing I was grieving ... so I pretty continuously wrote to avoid grieving.
But as of late, the depression was the worst I have experienced and I lost my ability to focus on anything more than a few moments. When I was able to focus and tried to write, the depression would return in the form of a critical voice, telling me my writing was crap. I removed my story from the last competition because that voice was so loud after I published my piece.
So, mostly writing is an escape, but in extreme depression a hindrance. I probably write more when I have struggles/stresses in my life because that's when I need to create a happy, fantasy world in my stories. When everything's in order, I'm outside, with friends, doing what I want, and don't need to write what I wish I was doing. I think that is why many authors are introverts. Most extroverts would rather be "doing" than "writing about doing".
Yeah, I'm kinda dealing with the "critical voice" getting loud right now. The trick for me is realizing the voice is full of shit, and that if I can get the words on paper they'll be okay (maybe not great, but within a rewrite of being okay), and it'll make me feel better too.
It's like that Dorothy Parker line: "I hate writing, but I love having written." If I can get the words down, it really feels like a win.
So, it's more than just an escape. It's feeling good at accomplishing something.
Tintinnabulation - first place (Free Spirit) Comet Q - second place (Quick and Risqué Sex) Amnesia - third place (Le Noir Erotique)
Quote by krystalg As of right now, today, this moment I need to modify my original response.
I am currently very depressed and the knowing architect of my own disaster. I also feel very bad for Dronette56 who had the immense displeasure of approving my writing.
I wrote because i was feeling depressed over what I did. It was, for me, a form of therapy. It helped somewhat. I can't say exactly how; but I feel better just getting my feelings out there.
With my recent experiences in mind I feel that I should modify my original response to include that I think that it also helps one to cope with any strong emotions; to put it into a more undertsandable perspective.
I'll admit I sneaked a look at your profile and saw the "self-destructive crash and burn." You experienced something that brought out strong emotions, and wrote a story to help you examine it, decided you didn't like the story and trashed it - is that about right (I remember the previous post)? I'm glad writing it out gave you some closure, and some insight, even if you chose to delete the story. Sounds very therapeutic.
Tintinnabulation - first place (Free Spirit) Comet Q - second place (Quick and Risqué Sex) Amnesia - third place (Le Noir Erotique)
I'll admit I sneaked a look at your profile and saw the "self-destructive crash and burn." You experienced something that brought out strong emotions, and wrote a story to help you examine it, decided you didn't like the story and trashed it - is that about right (I remember the previous post)? I'm glad writing it out gave you some closure, and some insight, even if you chose to delete the story. Sounds very therapeutic.
Not exactly (in my meek voice). I trashed a too-long story that was all fluff and no content, and have received so much excellent support and help to improve my writing from everyone here since then! I'd list names, but it would be practically everyone, you included.
My therapeutic confessional is up as of today, all 6800 words of it; just posted and approved today (hence the apology to Dronette!). That way if I ever find myself going down that same destructive path I can reread my actions, plus the amazing sex that preceded it, and wave myself onto a better path.
Am I a good witch, or a bad witch? History will decide
