... on breaking a quarter horse so it could be ridden in the Lush Derby stakes. His heart pounding in excitement, he went to the tack room and picked up a ...
...prostitute called Beryl, whom he realised was 3 times his age. Once realising his altered state of consciousness had led him to this extraordinary faux pas, he quickly conjured up a plan to...
...push her off onto his cousin, who by any means was into much older women. He called up his cousin, who then agreed to take the old bitty for a good ride. He drove her to his cousin Raplhie's house and dropped her off. On the way he found a small...
m&m on the seat. He popped it into his mouth not realizing it was actully laced with LSD!. Suddenly bright colors began to fill his mind and
...his own mother as a horny teenager with the hots for him, of course! Having no interest in such things, however, he resolved to repair the flux capacitor in the DeLorean so he could get back to...
his job as a Wal-Mart greeter. The pay was not much, but it allowed him to snap all manner of photographs which he would then...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
...post in the forum of his favorite story site, of course. Realizing the old hooker was still in the car, he wondered if there was some way he could use her to...
open the damn puzzle box and release hell on earth,
but first he needed to
shave his eyebrows, wax his armpits and tattoo his initials upon his taint. When he glanced and thought that he saw his cat winking at him, he felt that perhaps he had...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
...read one Haruki Murakami book too many, and decided that perhaps it was time to dumb down his literary tastes. With that in mind, he went to the book store and bought a book written by...
Winning this award is akin to being the tallest midget in the circus ,I therefore denounce this craft and concentrate my efforts on...............
introducing some semblance of order and reasoning to the thoughts and words displayed upon this page. I removed my trouser snake from behind my silky thong panties and thought lustfully of Murakami, while I proceeded to...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
...answer my damn cell phone which once again started ringing. Thinking maybe it was the old biddy I left in the car, it instead turned out to be about...
my friend at the Department of Homeland Security, tipping me off that my internet usage was being tracked by some curious individuals over at the NSA. He suggested that I wrap my laptop in heavy-duty Reynold's brand, aluminium foil, this would...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
get comfy in my flannel jammies with the exocet missiles so coyly printed on them. After all, what's an unlaunched missile if not...
to be displayed in flannel nightware. I waited then with baited breathe as my broken box of bicycles brought about a bountiful buoyancy of babbiling verbosity. I decided my dabbling within poetic devices was a wee bit pretentious and instead decided to dumb myself down with text speak. I texted a quick 'r u ...
...a right official flower lover. Since I know next to nothing about flowers, I headed to Wikipedia to learn as much as I could in order to seduce that fine piece of...
.... of the jigsaw; I had the all the straight bits and it looked like all I had left was sky. There was no other choice, I simply had to ...
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber ask my mom for help. With that she came over and examined...............
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
count to ten using only one hand. I never really understood why, but I think it had to do with..........
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
...washing my mother's other favorite breed of toy dog, her Shih-Tzu. I wondered why my mother had her large pot on the stove, when the Snafu and the Shih-Tzu looked at me with terror in their eyes. I immediately recounted a popular Glenn Close movie in the 80's, and decided the only course of action would be to...
Make my favorite stew. Oh, how I used to love mom making this for me on a cold winter morning. Letting it simmer all day, and it would be ready just in time for........
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
... me to put me knickers and trews on and dash off to combat the ever annoying ...
......Gypsymoth. Those things flap their wings just outside my window and it keeps me up all hours of the evening. To get rid of them I would open the window and yell...........
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
"Shoo fly pie, and apple pan dowdy...makes your eyes light up and your tummy say howdy." There is no quicker way to run off moths than for me to begin singing, unless it's to begin...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
......yodeling my favorite song "When the cuckoo calls, early springtime falls. Oh di lay le oh. Hoh di lay lee lay lee oh. All the snow will go, meadows green will grow. Oh di lay le oh. Hoh di loh".....and if that doesn't work I'll.............
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
propose matrimony to her. That never fails to drive off the women...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
unless you are in 2 wheel drive. But even in All-wheel you can still slip and slide if you hit a patch of........
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
...the automated chicken feather plucker™, for home use. Several test runs of my chicken feather plucking machine had proved rather a failure, so I decided instead, to concentrate on my other invention, the...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
...the automated pillow stuffing machine, but since I didn't have any feathers to stuff the pillows with because of the initial failure of the chicken plucker, I realized my career as an inventor was probably never going to take off and decided instead I should probably just ...
