I recently tagged one of my stories in which a stepmother and her son embark on an illicit affair behind the Dad's back, "cuckold". One of the first comments was from an irritated reader who gave it a 2 and explained it wasn't cuckold.
I've always understood the term to mean "a man or woman who has been cheated on by their spouse" (as per Othello), but am starting to realise in porn / erotica it is exclusively used to describe the hotwife genre in which a husband gets aroused from watching his wife screw another man and enjoys the humiliation on a certain level.
Is the latter the correct definition or is it fair to tag a story involving cheating (in which the husband is not happy about it) as "cuckold"?
You original definition is correct in the Oxford English definition as in the husband of a wife who is or has had an affair. Whether the husband knows about it or not.
In porn and erotic literature it has come to mean a husband who is present and either does not like it or gets enjoyment from being humiliated.
Cuckold is a centuries-old term that has largely been supplanted with a different and more modern meaning. There's a different term, equally ancient, "wittol", which more closely fits the new non-cheating definition. But it hasn't taken hold and is largely archaic. Historically, your usage is correct, but nowadays... not so much.
With cuckolding, in modern usage, I don't think it's so much that the cheated on partner needs to derive pleasure from it (that's where it becomes a kink or fetish), but at least that it is not done in secret. So it could be done in a genuinely humiliating and hurtful way.
Thanks for clarifying everyone. Sounds like the Oxford dictionary needs to add an additional meaning!
It is a very interesting discussion. I have always thought that cuckolding involved the knowledge of the extra-marital affair, whether the cuck approves or wants it to happen or not. Without that knowledge it is simply cheating.
The humiliation or lack of consent can of course be erotic but at least it is an open issue between the couple.
Over the years, I have found that regardless of what the "accepted" definition of a word is, many have a different view and understanding of that word. When it comes to sex, porn, and kink, it is even more cloudy based on the person interpreting their meaning of it. This is a very good example of where lines become fuzzy for some. In erotic writing and porn, I have seen the words cuckhold, cuckcake, cheating, hot wife, swinging, and open relationship used interchangeably, where in my mind, they are different and distinct acts. So for me, here is how I see each of those terms and define them in my mind:
Cuckhold - the wife has sex with other people, with her partners knowledge, and tends to force him to accept it regardless of his desires (normally approved of at some level by him)
Cuckcake - the husband has sex with other people, with his partners knowledge, and tends to force her to accept it regardless of her desires (normally approved of at some level by her)
Cheating - one person has sex with someone not their partner, without that partners knowledge
Hot Wife - the wife has sexual relations with others, outside of the relationship, with her partners knowledge and blessing. The wife shares the experience later with her husband
Swinging - both partners have sex with others outside of their relationship, with their partners knowledge and blessing. This is normally together (can also be called swapping)
Open Relationship - both partners have agreed to be open to sexual relations with others outside of their relationship and have permission to pursue sex with others
Of course, this is just my understanding and opinion, and it can and does vary by person.
The term cuckold is centuries old and is actually derives from the cuckoo bird, alluding to its habit of laying its eggs in other birds' nests. The original term of cuckold was used as a term to describe a man whose wife was unfaithful, not as a fetish for a man who enjoys seeing his wife have sex with other men like it is presently used today.
For 25 years I was a unwilling wittol, wanted her to do other men and she did but she would never admit it or share with me. Son too but never admitted it.
I have read the description that Lush provides in describing the Cuckold heading, as it does with every story subject. If I were writing a story for publication here I would be guided by the description provided.
If the story follows the suggested guidelines then I can’t see a problem on Lush.
