Turn-off and Deal Breakers for Readers

After reading through all the posts in this thread, one thing is clear. Some people like to get to the sex part quickly, while some people like a slow build-up. Some people like back-of-the head banging against the wall rough-fucking, and some people like tender, sweet, love-making, sex. Some want lengthy character building, and some want to find out about the character through action.

I usually want to read, and I write, by first introducing the characters through their thoughts and motivations. Then on to the set-up for the sex, followed by hot and heavy action. But I did do one story with sex from the very first word (a masturbation scene), and it's one of my favorites.

One last thought: when I read a story I want to get the feeling that the writer genuinely likes and understands his or her characters, and has put some thought into it. You can't have good sex without good characters.

The over use of the word filth.

Cardboard cutouts instead of characters...mere placeholders for the sex; lack of a story that makes it just porn instead of erotica; and that constant, subject-verb, subject-verb patterning. Give me a well-punctuated, compelling story with real people that I can sympathize with or at least view as having substance and some good context rather than "she was stacked with 36 DD's and horny and they fucked."

To me, there needs to be some kind of emotional hook. I want to identify with a character, and I want to be in the mind of someone that I can relate to at least a little and kind of.. use my empathy to put myself in the place of a character. There is also a level of proficiency with language and structure that I kinda feel I need. I don't mind new writers or people who have never written smut, but give me a little variety in sentence structure. Also, please don't type in all caps when people are having sex. Personal pet peeve of mine. I had someone I used to cyber with that would OOOOOOOOOOoooOOOOOO and AAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhHAHHHHHHhhhhh and I just wanted to die.

Quote by sprite

huge one for me is a story that starts out with 'the laundry list' (Amy had blue eyes and blonde hair, was 5'3" tall, weighed 120 pounds, and had 34DD tits) i'm not going to read anymore. instant turn off. pretty much tells me all i need to know about the rest of the story.

I agree with this. These details can be introduced if and when they are relevant to the progression of the story.

All men have 10” dicks, are very confident and are an “orgasm factory” for the ladies. And especially when hey are depicted like this in a group sex story. Really!? I usually skip these kinds of stories. I mean, I know all these stories are fantasies, but the closer they are to the reality the bigger the chance that they will be a major erotic trigger. You can imagine yourself in that situation!

Women having orgasms in any situation and all of them powerful and usually multiple. Again, so far away from reality. Yes, sex with another person(s) is about orgasm, but even if it doesn’t happen all the time, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it all ends there. If it were only about having an orgasm, then we will all masturbate and reach the goal. So far, very few stories are about this mix of sex with and without orgasms.

Regarding the bad grammar complain, that I read about in one of the answers: perhaps English is not the native language for all writers. This is a major draw back for me in writing stories. Still, in general I agree that this can be a turn off.

Quote by Jen

Dialogue is the big one for me. So much of it just sounds unnatural. I hate when the other person's name appears at the start of every line of dialogue. I don't think I've ever been talking with someone face-to-face and said their name to them. Certainly not after an introductory hello. But so often I see things like:

"Hi Dean, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Cathy, and you?"

"Thanks, Dean. I'm doing great. What have you been up to?"

"Well, Cathy, I've been blah blah..."

Along with that thought, dialogue with no contractions. Cuz people use them all the time, it's natural.

"So, you are [you're] going to the dance? It is [it's] supposed to be really great," Sally said.

"There has [there's] been much talk about it," Tom added.

"What are [what're] you going to wear?"

"I will [I'll] let you know when I figure it out."

Refer to https://www.eslbuzz.com/popular-contractions/ for common usage.

Quote by Kee

Along with that thought, dialogue with no contractions. Cuz people use them all the time, it's natural.

"So, you are [you're] going to the dance? It is [it's] supposed to be really great," Sally said.

"There has [there's] been much talk about it," Tom added.

"What are [what're] you going to wear?"

"I will [I'll] let you know when I figure it out."

Refer to https://www.eslbuzz.com/popular-contractions/ for common usage.

Contractions are a girl's best friend writing macros!

Quote by wxt55uk
For me, a red light is if I see the category microfiction, monster sex, sci-fi, mind control etc

If I have to work too hard in a classic 'alien world' sci-fi or fantasy piece and can't tell the character names from the planets (hello, Ximni from Namphorg) then I tend to switch off. But I won't usually discount a story based entirely on category, because they can be surprising.

I've written a few in the fantasy/sci-fi category that (I hope) are more "real world" science fiction where human interaction is still the focus. The stories just happen to be set in some different or future world, but it isn't usually the central plot device, nor is it rammed down your throat. Try Fate Into Doubt Won't Go, for example.

As deal breakers of my own. I rolleyes at the laundry list, like sprite. I dislike crap dialogue with character names repeated every few lines, like Jen mentioned. But one thing that puts me off beyond all else is when a story that draws me in breaks its own code.

A bit like Seeker and others say, if a story is going well and a character begins acting, well, out of character, my suspension of belief is shattered. It takes me right out of the story zone and I find it difficult to reimmerse myself.

If you read the stories of Jaymal, Kimmiebegood, Sprite and the few Callme Jayne has written you will have a comprehensive tutorial in how to write well in a broad range of genres and styles. Laurie gins out some pretty good stuff when she gets around to it. I write complete utter crap so stay as far away from my scribbling or you will be corrupted.

Thank you, Icarus, for your kind words. To be mentioned in the same breath as those particular authors makes me smile like this ... 😀😀😊

And your stuff is far from crap. Don't you dare insult an inspiring poet like yourself again.

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Thank you, Icarus, for your kind words. To be mentioned in the same breath as those particular authors makes me smile like this ... 😀😀😊

And your stuff is far from crap. Don't you dare insult an inspiring poet like yourself again.

You stand head to head with any author within Lush. Each one I mentioned,including yourself, has the ability to step into the realm of professional writing in a blink of the eye. I just discovered Tangerine Sky, a mod who returned one of my “poems”. She can really write!

The inflated words that are used for the author’s ego rather than developing characters and themes.

Quote by Icarus4

you will be corrupted.

too late. by about 23 years.

Quote by Icarus4

The inflated words that are used for the author’s ego rather than developing characters and themes.

Don't read me, then!

Bad sexual poetry. Just, no.

And I just write micros, so how good can they be?

Quote by kistinspencil

And I just write micros, so how good can they be?

You know your art is great. I'll happily inflate your ego, just like, stroke my thighs, squeeze my nipples and smack my ass. Thankyou.

What happens in an erotic story that makes you walk away?

Sci-fi that is badly written - In my opinion, most is bad
Attempts at period stories
Men scoring because they cheat, trick, blackmail, force, get violent, and generally act weak but think they are strong.

Characters I cannot picture/relate to on a deeper level.
But maybe one (wo)man's meat is another's poison?

Boring scene-setting, world-building, backstory, or info dumps. Tell the story, let the background information come out naturally as the story progresses.

No story. I like to know how someone ended up in the bed/shower/settee/floor etc with another. Random, unbelievable hook-ups aren't fun for me. Hard to believe with the type of things I write, but I play a lot of otome games which are softer, and romantic, so I'm used to reading A LOT before I get to any action if at all. I prefer to be patient, with my interest being more in the relationship, than the sexual activity. In terms of content, MM, MF, FF or any other genders are fine with me, whether romantic or more bdsm in nature, but I avoid categories in totality. I'm not fond of the shopping list descriptions explained by another above. Add it in gradually. When people meet, they don't take in everything at once, just what they're immediately drawn to like someone's eyes, mouth etc. Maybe someone's mannerisms if they're nervous or certain aspects of attire. Even during a crime, people generally give poor descriptions of potential suspects which should explain how little we really notice at once.

Quote by utterchaos

No story. I like to know how someone ended up in the bed/shower/settee/floor etc with another. Random, unbelievable hook-ups aren't fun for me. Hard to believe with the type of things I write, but I play a lot of otome games which are softer, and romantic, so I'm used to reading A LOT before I get to any action if at all. I prefer to be patient, with my interest being more in the relationship, than the sexual activity. In terms of content, MM, MF, FF or any other genders are fine with me, whether romantic or more bdsm in nature, but I avoid categories in totality. I'm not fond of the shopping list descriptions explained by another above. Add it in gradually. When people meet, they don't take in everything at once, just what they're immediately drawn to like someone's eyes, mouth etc. Maybe someone's mannerisms if they're nervous or certain aspects of attire. Even during a crime, people generally give poor descriptions of potential suspects which should explain how little we really notice at once.

I think a long game erotica isn’t as popular on this site. Most want serving sized smut. However I’m with you. I like slow burns and gradual build ups.

I also am a huge fan of otomes. I tend to go for the ones slanted for girls because the dating sims for men are normally very shallow and problematic. I’m actually working with my partner to create one, though it’s starting from the normal formula. It’s incredibly complicated to write for, so many flowcharts and dialogue branches. It’s a really fun genre though, and i think we’ve got something very different and special going.

Some stories have too many unnecessary details. Hemingway talked about how only 1/8 of an iceberg is visible above the surface. If a writer can make their core story, their iceberg tip, meaningful, then the omitted details, the submerged iceberg, can still be felt by the reader.

Quote by Sanctus_Cacas

Some stories have too many unnecessary details. Hemingway talked about how only 1/8 of an iceberg is visible above the surface. If a writer can make their core story, their iceberg tip, meaningful, then the omitted details, the submerged iceberg, can still be felt by the reader.

To be fair, Hemingway is like reading an IKEA manual.

I prefer when a story has an actual storyline and relatable characters. On occasion I will read a “quickie” style story but hot sex scenes are more interesting to me if I know “who” and “why.” A HUGE turn off is when I can’t tell who is saying what.

Quote by techgoddess
hot sex scenes are more interesting to me if I know “who” and “why.”

Me, too, especially as a writer. Even if I start with a sex scene, my brain has a natural tendency to start fleshing things out even if I started it as a stroke story.

That said, sometimes as a reader, I will want just something strokable without a lot of story.

"She was 26 years old, 5'3, 126lbs, 34DD boobs, 42-25-36 measurements, 6 reps at 105lbs, 40l engine cylinder capacity, 64MB RAM, women's 7.5 (5,5 UK), built 1983, +10 fire damage, 401k and could be upgraded to Windows 11."

OMG.

Who.

Cares?

😪

Also, what Kee said about dialogue and names. Right, Kee? Such a good point, Kee. Thanks for making it, Kee.

Quote by cydia

"She was 26 years old, 5'3, 126lbs, 34DD boobs, 42-25-36 measurements, 6 reps at 105lbs, 40l engine cylinder capacity, 64MB RAM, women's 7.5 (5,5 UK), built 1983, +10 fire damage, 401k and could be upgraded to Windows 11."

OMG.

Who.

Cares?

😪

I’m equipping this woman in my trinket slot. Those are some great stats.