Girls, Ladies, Women?

In this arena ( where we are assuming that the subject matter is apolitical and we are dealing with adult females (please don't get political about genders here, it is an honest question seeking honest answers)) I have two questions:

• As a collective noun, what do our female readers prefer as a collective noun?

• As an individual, how would you prefer your (now, or future) partner to think/speak of you?

• Does the collective noun need to match the individual noun?

For some additional info, I find the whole subject fraught with difficulties:

Does calling someone a girl denigrate that person's growth from a childhood to adulthood? does it sound cheesy? does it sound a bit uncomfortably to do with age?

Does calling someone a lady imply some social division from those called Women or Girls? does it imply some kind of stand-offishness? is this too, a bit cheesy ?

Does calling someone a woman imply lack of special feeling about that individual compared with every other female? or does it simply signify a mature female?

To test your answers try the following sentences and see how you feel:

• You are the most beautiful XXX in the world

• I really love going out with a XXX like you

• You are the sexiest XXX I have ever met

Oh, and I know I said two questions and asked three, but that's because I am an idiot and can't work out how to edit my original post lol

You are the most beautiful FEMALE in the world

I feel bad now because I posted a joke reply assuming others would give serious answers, and then no one else has replied. So let me make it up to you by giving you a serious answer as well:

I hate to say it, but it depends. You're asking all the right questions, but you'll get wildly different answers depending on whether you ask a teenager, a tradwife, an aristocrat, a sex worker, or a businesswoman.

Some groups love and use the word "girl." Some would find it childish and demeaning.

Context matters. If my best friend says "girls, let's hit the bar!" it hits different than if my older male boss says "girls, let's go!"

The bad news is there's no clear answer for you. The good news is that there's no clear answer period, so it's hard for you to get it wrong.

The best advice I can give you is to try to put yourself in the head of the people talking, and imagine both the word the speaker might choose based on their intent, and how the listener would receive and interpret it.

I would say use "girl" when referring to someone over eighteen with extreme caution. Yes, women might use it among themselves but a guy using it in place of "woman" tends to be inappropriate. So maybe in dialogue where the speaker is a woman but not otherwise. Again, assuming we are talking characters over eighteen. A sixteen-year-old, the youngest allowed on Lush, can still reasonably be called a "girl" though "young woman" might be a bit more respectful.

"Ladies" is a bit tougher. In some ways, it is an out of date word sometimes tossed around derisively that still gets used. Probably safe if used in a positive, non-derisive way or, again, by a female character in dialogue. And it is probably okay for historical pieces set in eras where its use was more common and accepted. But it can, and is, misused in sexist ways so take care and use some judgement when deciding to use it.

Personally, I stick to "woman" or an actual reference to the character as much as possible. I might add adjectives if needed, e.g. "young woman". "Girl" to me is someone under eighteen so I tend to stick to using that way, though I might slip into things like "college girl" at times.

I would say the girls is a collective group of younger women.

Ladies is, as Seeker says, old fashioned. I have heard females say "we're not ladies, we're women."

"Here come the girls" is definitely not singing about a group of children.

Oof, I would use woman. Girl is very contextual.

"Good girl" after giving her mistress a powerful orgasm is very different to a mundane description of her appearence.

Lady has connotations of social standing, perhaps, we use the word in France for this purpose, in England, it has connotations of nobility.

Female, no... not going there.

I have heard more than one person utter the words "vagina-havers" with sincerity in some misguided attempt at political correctness.