I've haven't been on here long but have a simple question.
As a reader which do you prefer.
First person: "I took her into my arms I knew she could feel my hardness pressing against her"
or third person: "Frank took her in into His arms. She could feel his hardness pressing against her"
I ask this because I was reading a story the other day that was first person but read more like this:
"I took you into my arms I knew you could feel my hardness pressing against you"
These arn't the exact words it was more graphic. I'm trying to be polite.
It immediatly turned me off as I am a straight male. My only thought was something more like...
"You did what, I felt what! Like hell you did!"
I've only written two stories so far. The first two mostly teasers for the third which I submitted today.
Now I wait anxiously hoping it will get approved. So to kill time I thought I would throw this out there.
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As a reader which do you prefer. A first person or third person view point?
Active Ink Slinger
I don't have a preference in general between first and third person (your first and second examples). They're both standard formats for fiction writing, and I've read plenty of great erotic stories using one or the other.
I find references to "you" (second person, your third example) to be challenging as a reader. Unless the story is really compelling to me, a second person perspective will take me out of it. As you noted, you have to identify very closely with that "you" in order for it to work, so a writer risks alienating a large part of his or her readership out of the gate. I generally find it odd to be told what "I" am doing or thinking. Again, there are always exceptions, but that's been my experience.
I find references to "you" (second person, your third example) to be challenging as a reader. Unless the story is really compelling to me, a second person perspective will take me out of it. As you noted, you have to identify very closely with that "you" in order for it to work, so a writer risks alienating a large part of his or her readership out of the gate. I generally find it odd to be told what "I" am doing or thinking. Again, there are always exceptions, but that's been my experience.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by Phoenix69
I ask this because I was reading a story the other day that was first person but read more like this:
"I took you into my arms I knew you could feel my hardness pressing against you"
These arn't the exact words it was more graphic. I'm trying to be polite.
This is not first person. It's called 'second person narrative'.
I don't take the story in the literal sense of putting myself into the other person's position. I can imagine myself as either the writer's perspective or as the person they're writing to/about, so gender differences don't bother me in that regard. Or I can just appreciate it as though I'm reading a letter that I have nothing to do with and watching a scene unfold.
I typically use first or third person, but my last story was in second-person narrative (I wanted to try something different). That perspective has a more intimate and immediate feel but probably is the least popular tense for readers. Having said that, if you can pull off a story, I don't care what tense it's in. I've enjoyed reading stories in all three.
Quote by hardnhot18
I find references to "you" (second person, your third example) to be challenging as a reader....
...so a writer risks alienating a large part of his or her readership out of the gate.
Quote by Dancing_Doll
This is not first person. It's called 'second person narrative'.
Or I can just appreciate it as though I'm reading a letter that I have nothing to do with and watching a scene unfold.
Thank you both, I didn't know if that was another version of first person or what. Sorry, I dropped out of school at 14... Wrong side of the tracks and all.
Did go on to college later but english was not my long suit. I've done better on my writting here then I expected.
As far as taking the more of an "outside looking in" view as you mentioned Dancing_Doll. That is a good way to think of it. I may have to go back and give it a second look...
Thanks for the feed back!
Alpha Blonde
Quote by Phoenix69
Thank you both, I didn't know if that was another version of first person or what. Sorry, I dropped out of school at 14... Wrong side of the tracks and all.
Did go on to college later but english was not my long suit. I've done better on my writting here then I expected.
Don't be hard on yourself. There are tons of people (including writers) that aren't familiar with that tense. It's definitely the least well-known of the three. Technically it's all semantics anyway. If it sounds good, then it's a good story as far as I'm concerned.
The Right Rev of Lush
Without getting too technical, there are three 'persons' available:
First person: I did something
Second person: You did something.
Third person: They did something.
After that the choices tend to get complicated.(sorry about that)
First person is more intimate but harder to handle since the narration comes from one person.
Third is what 'storytellers' employ and is used in the vast majority of published fiction.
As for second, the best advice I can give is, unless you're a Dancing Doll caliber writer, avoid, avoid, avoid. It's tough to handle and not popular. Leave it to the poets.
Good luck with your writing.
First person: I did something
Second person: You did something.
Third person: They did something.
After that the choices tend to get complicated.(sorry about that)
First person is more intimate but harder to handle since the narration comes from one person.
Third is what 'storytellers' employ and is used in the vast majority of published fiction.
As for second, the best advice I can give is, unless you're a Dancing Doll caliber writer, avoid, avoid, avoid. It's tough to handle and not popular. Leave it to the poets.
Good luck with your writing.
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Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Active Ink Slinger
Agreed @RumpleForeskin. Though I do have fond memories of those Choose Your Own Adventure novels...
Though I do have fond memories of those Choose Your Own Adventure novels... Quote by RumpleForeskin
First person is more intimate but harder to handle since the narration comes from one person.
Third is what 'storytellers' employ and is used in the vast majority of published fiction.
As for second, the best advice I can give is, unless you're a Dancing Doll caliber writer, avoid, avoid, avoid. It's tough to handle and not popular. Leave it to the poets.
Good luck with your writing.
So far my first three have all been first person as it is based off my own personal experience. With an ample use of artistic freedom! LOL So far that is comfortable. I want to try third person, As for this whole second person think, your right I'll leave that to the pros... (In reference to: unless you're a Dancing_Dolls caliber)
Thanks!
Active Ink Slinger
Omniscient.
Unicorn Wrangler
Quote by Phoenix69
I've haven't been on here long but have a simple question.
As a reader which do you prefer.
First person: "I took her into my arms I knew she could feel my hardness pressing against her"
or third person: "Frank took her in into His arms. She could feel his hardness pressing against her"
I ask this because I was reading a story the other day that was first person but read more like this:
"I took you into my arms I knew you could feel my hardness pressing against you"
These arn't the exact words it was more graphic. I'm trying to be polite.
It immediatly turned me off as I am a straight male. My only thought was something more like...
"You did what, I felt what! Like hell you did!"
I've only written two stories so far. The first two mostly teasers for the third which I submitted today.
Now I wait anxiously hoping it will get approved. So to kill time I thought I would throw this out there.
The example that you didn't like reads like a 2nd person POV. Those are difficult to write, and not something that everyone likes to read.
Now... I personally like either 1st or 3rd person as long as the story is well written. I've only found a tiny handful of authors that can write a good 2nd person story. So, I hope this answers your question. As an author... I've done both... and it really depends on how the story goes as if I write it in 1st or 3rd. 1st is harder as it limits what you can share, and 3rd allows you to share more, and is easier to share more information with the reader.
Good stories are just that... good stories.
Well now I see my lack of education as I found out that 3rd person Omniscient is an actuall writing style... I Just keep learning, isn't it wonderful! My story was rejected due to gramatical errors. I turned to my wife for help. She has a BA in English Lit (A minor in dance...OMG!, I love that woman!). Shes working on he Masters in education and working as a teach full time. I tried not to bother her with this as I know hgow busy she is. With her usual loving care she spent three hours with me showing me all of the errors, making me correct them.
Sometimes I wonder what shes doing with an old high school dropout like me. Of couurse by the time we were done she was very, and I mean VERY! HOT!.
I felt I should thank her for all her help. So I did it multi-orgasmicly.... Don't stop till she begs me kind of night. Then I rembered why she's with me!
She missed work today, still sleeping. Thats why I try not to bother her.
Damn, writing can be so much fun!
Sometimes I wonder what shes doing with an old high school dropout like me. Of couurse by the time we were done she was very, and I mean VERY! HOT!.
I felt I should thank her for all her help. So I did it multi-orgasmicly.... Don't stop till she begs me kind of night. Then I rembered why she's with me!
She missed work today, still sleeping. Thats why I try not to bother her.
Damn, writing can be so much fun!
Cheeky Chick
I personally like writing in first person because most of my stories are based on my real life or things I'd want done. I find a lot of my readers like reading in first person. I tempted to write in third person and find it harder to relate to the story when I'm writing it.
Active Ink Slinger
I've switched between first and third for stories - sometimes quite late in the process. Scotch Bonnet was third person when i first drafted it. The main drawback is you can't really get into the head of the other characters like you can with third person.
With third person you don't need to be in the same room as the main character throughout. Usually this doesn't present a major problem in a short story - but it can in novels. Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories in first person through the eyes of Dr Watson - mostly! Sometimes the stories had to switch to being told by another character when Watson wasn't around for whatever reason.
As others have pointed the story you originally referred to is in second person. As you've spotted it's a terrible way to write a story and is responsible for some of the weakest efforts on this site.
With third person you don't need to be in the same room as the main character throughout. Usually this doesn't present a major problem in a short story - but it can in novels. Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories in first person through the eyes of Dr Watson - mostly! Sometimes the stories had to switch to being told by another character when Watson wasn't around for whatever reason.
As others have pointed the story you originally referred to is in second person. As you've spotted it's a terrible way to write a story and is responsible for some of the weakest efforts on this site.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Unicorn Wrangler
Quote by Phoenix69
Well now I see my lack of education as I found out that 3rd person Omniscient is an actuall writing style... I Just keep learning, isn't it wonderful! My story was rejected due to gramatical errors. I turned to my wife for help. She has a BA in English Lit (A minor in dance...OMG!, I love that woman!). Shes working on he Masters in education and working as a teach full time. I tried not to bother her with this as I know hgow busy she is. With her usual loving care she spent three hours with me showing me all of the errors, making me correct them.
Sometimes I wonder what shes doing with an old high school dropout like me. Of couurse by the time we were done she was very, and I mean VERY! HOT!.
I felt I should thank her for all her help. So I did it multi-orgasmicly.... Don't stop till she begs me kind of night. Then I rembered why she's with me!
She missed work today, still sleeping. Thats why I try not to bother her.
Damn, writing can be so much fun!
Sounds like you've got a hell of a wife & I'm sure she knows how lucky she is to be your wife.
Oh yeah... 3rd person can be multi-leveled: 3rd person Omniscient, 3rd person limited Omniscient (the author focuses on the thoughts & feelings of 1 character), and 3rd person no Omniscient (you get none of the thoughts of any characters.)
Just thought I'd share & I'm sure your amazing wife told you the same thing.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Phoenix69
I ask this because I was reading a story the other day that was first person but read more like this:
"I took you into my arms I knew you could feel my hardness pressing against you"
Quote by Dancing_Doll
This is not first person. It's called 'second person narrative'.
I don't take the story in the literal sense of putting myself into the other person's position. I can imagine myself as either the writer's perspective or as the person they're writing to/about, so gender differences don't bother me in that regard. Or I can just appreciate it as though I'm reading a letter that I have nothing to do with and watching a scene unfold.
I typically use first or third person, but my last story was in second-person narrative (I wanted to try something different). That perspective has a more intimate and immediate feel but probably is the least popular tense for readers. Having said that, if you can pull off a story, I don't care what tense it's in. I've enjoyed reading stories in all three.
Would that be considered second person? Whenever I think of second person, I think of the "you" as being the subject, not the object. Would determining the reader's actions, even if the reader is not the subject, automatically make it second person? When I think second person, I think of those old Choose-Your-Own Adventure Books or a film like Blast of Silence. Like "You took him into your arms" instead of "I took you into my arms". Maybe a first and second person combo? It doesn't really matter, I just have never thought about where that sort of writing would fit into the narrative spectrum (writing with both an "I" and then a "you").
Regardless, yeah, that sort of "I verb you" writing is seldom in prose. You find it much more often in romantic/confessional type songs, poetry, correspondence, etc.
Quote by LiquidMatthew
For me, I think it depends on the type of story. Some things are better in first person, some are better in third. It all depends on what I'm reading and how the author handles it.
This is very true. Sometimes first person works and sometimes it doesn't. I've actually changed one of my stories from first to third when proof-reading because it just didn't 'fit'.
Active Ink Slinger
I don't have a preference when reading another story....1st, 2nd or 3rd person, doesn't bother me. But when it comes to writing a story, I always seem to go with 1st person...I find it hard to write any other way.
I like them all. As others have stated, it depends on the story. Also, I like when the perspective CHANGES. You don't have to stick with one perspective. And in fact, if you think about it, most of the great books/stories out there change perspective depending on the emphasis needed or to draw you into the situation from a particular angle. A lot of times that is done by chapters though, not on the fly. You are almost like God looking in, and you can feel and see what all the characters are thinking, feeling, doing. Short stories are easier to do from one perspective, but you don't HAVE to. So have fun!
(And yes, I have seen stories here switch perspective.)
(And yes, I have seen stories here switch perspective.)
Active Ink Slinger
i like first person pov.....
Active Ink Slinger
I tend to use First person simply because I have either experienced the act or something similar, and because I can try to describe just how I felt at different points in my story.
Active Ink Slinger
Mostly third person.
Active Ink Slinger
As a writer, I find third-person has just been way easier, even if the heroine is based on me.
As a reader, I prefer the same; a third-person account unless the story is really strong and well-written.
As a reader, I prefer the same; a third-person account unless the story is really strong and well-written.
"If you knew what you were doing you would probably be bored."
Active Ink Slinger
It doesn't really matter to me.
Active Ink Slinger
I generally prefer third, but put a well-written story in front of me that's written from a first person or second person point of view and I'll read it. Especially a second-person narrative. There's just something about it that I find really intriguing.
Active Ink Slinger
first person
Internet Philosopher
I write in the 1st and 3rd, depending on the story. What determines it is the overall theme I'm attempting to capture. I've written a couple of my own experiences, but I prefer not to simply in respect to my partners.
I wrote one story in 2nd person narrative. I really enjoyed it because it was very poetic, but honestly it was one of my least well received stories. At this time I don't plan on using it again.
I wrote one story in 2nd person narrative. I really enjoyed it because it was very poetic, but honestly it was one of my least well received stories. At this time I don't plan on using it again.