Unsure about an ex~?

Lurker

6 Oct 2013

Hey there:
So, recently my ex fiance left me on our three year anniversary because she said she was not happy and she could not be who she wanted to be around me supposedly. Recently, before the break up, cell phone texting and time spent online increased whenever we were doing activities together. When I would inquire about them I was told, its nothing or she would say "just friends"...then sometimes she would quote to me the things those people would say to her and I was like, some of those comments are not appropriate considering you and I are in an exclusive intimate relationship. So, she decided to leave and now constantly calls and texts saying she screwed up and wants me back, how she is only herself when she is around me and the other people she talks to, she doesn't talk to them anymore...however, when she is around they are texting her. I have confronted her about it and then she gets hostile...I am madly in love with this girl and honestly can not see myself with anyone else...this is the main problem in our lives and she keeps saying she wants to get help with these but never does...even when options for assistance are there. Any ideas on what else I can do...and should I even truly consider holding onto this relationship or should I just cut ties, move on, and try to find someone who is not caught up with others who seem to just hinder our relationship!
The Just friends say things like I Love You, you shouldn't be with him, You should be with me instead, I can make you happy...stuff like that...not friends in the since of like...hey, hows life, when are we gonna go to the movies or have dinner...kinda stuff!
p.s. You can ask more detailed questions and I will answer honestly and truthfully...whatever it may be!
Thanks,
Aaron

dpw

Active Ink Slinger

7 Oct 2013

Quote by aaronakafidel3
Hey there:
So, recently my ex fiance left me on our three year anniversary because she said she was not happy and she could not be who she wanted to be around me supposedly. Recently, before the break up, cell phone texting and time spent online increased whenever we were doing activities together. When I would inquire about them I was told, its nothing or she would say just friends...then sometimes she would quote to me the things those people would say to her and I was like, some of those comments are not appropriate considering you and I are in an exclusive intimate relationship. So, she decided to leave and now constantly calls and texts saying she screwed up and wants me back, how she is only herself when she is around me and the other people she talks to, she doesn't talk to them anymore...however, when she is around they are texting her. I have confronted her about it and then she gets hostile...I am madly in love with this girl and honestly can not see myself with anyone else...this is the main problem in our lives and she keeps saying she wants to get help with these but never does...even when options for assistance are there. Any ideas on what else I can do...and should I even truly consider holding onto this relationship or should I just cut ties, move on, and try to find someone who is not caught up with others who seem to just hinder our relationship!

p.s. You can ask more detailed questions and I will answer honestly and truthfully...whatever it may be!
Thanks,
Aaron

You won't get answers here only opinions, some of which you may not like. Well here goes with my 2 cents worth.
You're here asking for help, so you feel the relationship is worth saving. If you didn't you wouldn't be asking. Whether after lots of different advice you'll still the same, time will tell.
2. You mention her texting and time on line has increased and inappropriate comments made. You've been a member here for over a year, have all of your comments always been appropriate for somebody in "an exclusive intimate relationship" (your words). Does she know you visit here?
3. First she says she can't be herself around you, then when she went said she can only be herself when she is around you. Can't live with you, can't live without you! Do you by any chance have a control problem or are you overjealous? This may be a reason, sort an over dominance to someone that may feel stifled. Only a thought.
5. You need to have an honest discussion with her, listen to her problems and state yours.
Well that's me done, I'm sure you'll get many more posts and hope you can sort it out. Good luck.