i keep getting this problem with lotsa gals i met, even if i dont see them in a dating sense, i always seem to get the "i dont see you that way" for datign sense and they kinda avoid talking to me unless they happen to see me by running into each other accidentually, and really they see my kindness as iwanna date them which for some yea is true but most is not true and it getting annoying, i already like 2 girls around my age 1 of which is taken and doesnt seem e that way and i am fine with it cause i enjoy having her as a friend even the other well just seeing how it goes for now takign it slow, but others always give the ""i dont see you that way" or "i have a bf" line to me, when i just wish to be friends, any advice olivia? sicne from reading all the previous posts you seem to give out good idea of things going on o.o
When a girl says "I don't see you that way" she is usually saying it because you are projecting that you are interested in her and she is trying to save you the awkward embarrassment. The key here is to figure out what you are doing to give them this perception... assuming that you aren't openly trying to hook up with them.
You appear to be saying that you purely see them as 'friendship potential' from the beginning. Are you sure about this? You go back and forth in your post by saying "for some yea its true but most is not true" and "I already like 2 girls my age". You seem ambivalent about your own intentions. Or maybe you're just putting out feelers and seeing what their reaction to you is first. That being... if you see an opening to close the deal then you're happy to take it, but if not, you can live with being 'just friends'. If this is the case then you are probably projecting that you're into them in more than a friendly way from the beginning.
Here's the thing... men and women can often become friends if they are involved in similar activity, classes, sports or clubs or live in the same apartment or college dorm. When a girl is sitting on a bench and a guy randomly approaches her for "friendship" purposes... it doesn't go over very well. Girls will automatically assume that you ultimately want to hook up with them or date them.
If a girl says "Hey, I don't see you that way", then why don't you just follow up by saying "that's cool, I don't see you that way either. I just wanted to check out that new movie with a buddy, and thought you might want to see it too."
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If she relaxes her guard and actually goes to this movie with you, then DO NOT under any circumstances view her as anything more than a buddy. You must assume going forward that any interaction you have (no matter how many times she texts you, calls you on the phone or hangs out with you) is PURELY platonic friendship on her part.
Problems can happen when after this "negotiation" the original party starts to interpret the buddy situation as meaning more than it does and gets hopeful, and the person that said they aren't interested relaxes their guard because they think the intentions are all out in the open and the situation is understood.
Lastly... try not to be so annoyed when a girl lets you know upfront that she isn't interested or has a boyfriend. She's just trying to avoid potential awkwardness or you feeling like you wasted your time if you have romantic intentions. If a girl tells you that she's not into you and you still want to be friends, take it for what it is... friendship... don't take it as a sign that you're willing to "take it slow" as you said. She's not into you. And guys that say "ok" but then continue the friendship in the hopes that eventually will be able to wear her down is what tends to piss off girls and make them avoid guys like this altogether.
have to agree with Olivia
are u sure u dont come across maybe a bit strong for them to have to say that..right up front?
most girls like casual...from the start
maybe if you approach them as you would a male bud....they will lower their guy-dar
everything is about perception..to get a good...reception
just saying
