Testing the Equipment on the side

15 Sep 2015

It's been something like 15 years since I've had intercourse. (I don't count handjobs, thank you very much.)
Not that I haven't had opportunities - I live in a large city with a well-populated cadre of professionals available.
Anyway, in the absence of any domestic outlet, I'd really like to see if everything still works properly and I remember how to do it right.

On the other hand, seeing a professional for that specific a reason sounds ... clinical. Might just put me off the mood I need to be in.

Does this sound totally off base? I think what's mostly keeping me from pulling the trigger is the thought that I might get in bed and find out either (a) I've lost the knack, or (b) I'm just too hung up on my wife to function fully elsewhere.

rd

27 Sep 2015

Quote by rdodger
It's been something like 15 years since I've had intercourse. (I don't count handjobs, thank you very much.)
Not that I haven't had opportunities - I live in a large city with a well-populated cadre of professionals available.
Anyway, in the absence of any domestic outlet, I'd really like to see if everything still works properly and I remember how to do it right.

On the other hand, seeing a professional for that specific a reason sounds ... clinical. Might just put me off the mood I need to be in.

Does this sound totally off base? I think what's mostly keeping me from pulling the trigger is the thought that I might get in bed and find out either (a) I've lost the knack, or (b) I'm just too hung up on my wife to function fully elsewhere.

rd

Hello!

You didn't mention whether or not you and your wife were still together, so I'm just going to assume you're separated, being that you referred to her as your wife and not your ex-wife. Please forgive me if I've assumed incorrectly.

Now back to your "equipment" problems. It seems as if you're saying that you would like to get laid, to put it bluntly, but are nervous about whether or not you've still got it. Sex is very much like riding a bike: As long as all the parts involved are still in working order, you never forget how to do it. It might take a few pumps or even a bit of oil on the chain to get the wheels turning, but the act itself isn't really the hard part.

Perhaps you can test your equipment by watching some porn or reading a sexy story and see if you're responsive. Then go from there. If you're hung up over your wife or ex-wife, or what have you, then you should consider broaching the subject with her. Or maybe you should seek closure so you no longer feel guilty.

If you truly believe it's a medical issue, there's no shame in having it looked into. I'm sure seeking medical help is much better than the alternative of not engaging in sex at all.

As always, I wish you all the best.

~Yours truly

27 Sep 2015

Thank you Olivia.
The base equipment works - at least for handjobs. We're still married, and she has a boyfriend. I don't know anyone I could develop into a girlfriend, so that's how it goes. I just don't want to eventually embarrass myself drooping at the critical moment. Which would be psychological (sigh). I'll take heart from your reassurance since the parts work individually, the car should accelerate when the time comes.

27 Sep 2015

Quote by rdodger
Thank you Olivia.
The base equipment works - at least for handjobs. We're still married, and she has a boyfriend. I don't know anyone I could develop into a girlfriend, so that's how it goes. I just don't want to eventually embarrass myself drooping at the critical moment. Which would be psychological (sigh). I'll take heart from your reassurance since the parts work individually, the car should accelerate when the time comes.

Yes.

Also, consider a friend with benefits situation instead of seeking a girlfriend for the time being. I find that those situations come with less pressure, so that may ease some of the strain on your psyche.

27 Sep 2015

Quote by Olivia

Hello!

You didn't mention whether or not you and your wife were still together, so I'm just going to assume you're separated, being that you referred to her as your wife and not your ex-wife. Please forgive me if I've assumed incorrectly.

Now back to your "equipment" problems. It seems as if you're saying that you would like to get laid, to put it bluntly, but are nervous about whether or not you've still got it. Sex is very much like riding a bike: As long as all the parts involved are still in working order, you never forget how to do it. It might take a few pumps or even a bit of oil on the chain to get the wheels turning, but the act itself isn't really the hard part.

Perhaps you can test your equipment by watching some porn or reading a sexy story and see if you're responsive. Then go from there. If you're hung up over your wife or ex-wife, or what have you, then you should consider broaching the subject with her. Or maybe you should seek closure so you no longer feel guilty.

If you truly believe it's a medical issue, there's no shame in having it looked into. I'm sure seeking medical help is much better than the alternative of not engaging in sex at all.

As always, I wish you all the best.

~Yours truly

There is nothing wrong or shameful or even unnatural in seeing a medical professional to be sure there is no underlying medical issue. Obviously, you are concerned about something not working pr you would not be wondering. It is very natural that as a man ages things may not stay as "up" as they use to, just as the changes in a woman's hormones may impede her production of "moisture". This is absolutely no indication whether or not the desire is there, the physical response or lack of one is a common occurrence, actually. These are normal natural events and lucky for you there is a fix. Please, go talk to your doctor, that is the best place to start when seeking medical advice or having a possible medical concern/question. After you talk with him/her do what you feel is best for you but I do agree with Olivia about starting with some porn of your liking and a possible friend with benefits. Good luck and stop worrying. smile