I am not sure how to really put this out there but here goes. I have had sex with 6 different guys and not all at the same time, I don't think that I achieved an orgasm.. How can I tell if I have reached an orgasm? I am trying to find out how to achieve them to make sex more satisfying for me?
If you're 'not sure' if you achieved orgasm, then I can guarantee you that you didn't.
You will know when you do.
The truth is that many woman can't achieve orgasm through sex alone. And let's face it, many men are not particularly skilled at it either but have been propelled along with a false belief in their sexual prowess by women that have 'faked it' because they didn't want to 'hurt his feelings'.
In order to achieve orgasm during sex (whether via sex, foreplay, oral etc), two things need to be in place.
1. The guy has to know what he's doing.
If he doesn't know, then you need to be helpful with encouraging him along. When he's doing something that feels good, don't be afraid to be verbal and tell him to go deeper or flick your clit harder or to 'not stop' whatever he is doing in that exact moment. Men actually love being told what to do in bed. Knowing that they are turning you on will turn them on too. So don't be afraid to direct them until you can hit that climax.
2. You need to feel totally comfortable with your body, your partner and the experience you are having.
Some women can't totally 'let go' for whatever reason. She might be insecure about being in that totally vulnerable state of orgasm where you can't care what you sound like or whether your face is going blotchy or that your cellulite is jiggling. If you are the type that likes to be in control at all times, or you don't feel totally comfortable with being with the men you are being intimate with, then this may inhibit your ability to achieve orgasm. If, during sex, you're experiencing a train of thoughts ranging from "gee, I need to pick up my dress from the dry-cleaners tomorrow" to "omg, his dick is way smaller than I thought it was going to be" to "wow, we're finally having sex, I wonder if he'll call" or "what does this mean to our relationship" then you will definitely be too inhibited and distracted to experience orgasm.
But getting back to knowing it when you feel it:
Based on your post, I get the feeling that you haven't achieved orgasm at all since you are uncertain of what it feels like. If you have never masturbated or orgasmed before, I can guarantee you that you aren't going to magically have your first climax during a standard round of sex. The more you can understand and experiment with how you can achieve orgasm, the better chance you will have at experiencing orgasm with a partner. You need to practice on your own first. Use your fingers or a clit-vibrator (they are very inexpensive and easy to find). You may want to start by watching porn, reading erotica, or thinking about something that you find arousing. Once you achieve orgasm (and trust me, you will know it when you hit that peak) then you will better understand your body and what kind of rhythms, pressure, and stimulation it needs to climax.
I should also say that there is nothing wrong with using some kind of added clit stimulation during intercourse. You can use your fingers, or he can use his, or you can experiment using a small couples-toy. Orgasm during intercourse can be a tricky one for many women. There is no shame in enjoying a helping hand to speed things along...
