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Question from a Sub in a real relationship.

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Is it common for a Dom to be very Jealous even if they caused the situation? Someone told me "Jealousy is a prerequisite" and that makes sense but I'm still new.
Quote by yikes77
Is it common for a Dom to be very Jealous even if they caused the situation? Someone told me "Jealousy is a prerequisite" and that makes sense but I'm still new.


have to be a case by case scenario. explain the situation caused and i could answer better. that said, a jealous Dom either means a bad Dom or a sub playing games, either way, not a recipe for a good D/s relationships - it def. sends up a warning flag.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Jealousy is NOT a prerequisite. Trust and listening are. I'd agree it's kind of a red flag.
If a Dom doesn't have complete faith in the submissive the relationship is not working, a proper sub is constantly reinforcing the Dom, because that's what the sub wants from the Dom
It's not Jealousy as in unfaithfulness. It's more jealousy as in "Oh,you got looked at!" and seems like foreplay-no anger. I've never been accused of anything except for getting checked out-also it always leads to great times. Understand that I am younger than most here (I think) and so is my Miss. We're both experienced but it's my first REAL relationship of this nature. I'm 22,my S.O. 25.
Quote by yikes77
It's not Jealousy as in unfaithfulness. It's more jealousy as in "Oh,you got looked at!" and seems like foreplay-no anger. I've never been accused of anything except for getting checked out-also it always leads to great times. Understand that I am younger than most here (I think) and so is my Miss. We're both experienced but it's my first REAL relationship of this nature. I'm 22,my S.O. 25.


sounds fairly harmless, then, although she really needs to get comfortable with it, since it's going to happen. that all said, given your ages, there's going to be some maturity issues, and that's to be expected - just make sure you talk through them and be honest about your feelings. D/s is not all about bondage and sex. in a REAL relationship it's going to be part of pretty much all the relationship dynamics, even if it's subtle - and everyone's relationship is unique and takes constant work, just like in any other relationship. btw, feel free to PM me at any time if you'd like with questions or concerns if you have them. i have a fair bit of knowledge on the subject and am currently in a D/s relationship with another woman irl. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

If there's any sort of jealousy from the beginning then don't bother w/ that person. Age has nothing to do w/ actions when it comes to having a D/s relationship.
Quote by yikes77
It's not Jealousy as in unfaithfulness. It's more jealousy as in "Oh,you got looked at!" and seems like foreplay-no anger. I've never been accused of anything except for getting checked out-also it always leads to great times. Understand that I am younger than most here (I think) and so is my Miss. We're both experienced but it's my first REAL relationship of this nature. I'm 22,my S.O. 25.


That can and does happen in any relationship .

I recommend that you talk it through and give assurances if need be. It can be a security issue and not a jealousy issue
I'd like to chime in here...

IMHO you have to ask yourself why is there jealousy in the relationship? Has a trust been broken or is it someone's insecurity? A Dom should be confident enough in his sub's devotion that jealousy doesn't enter into the picture. And a sub should have enough faith and trust in her/his Dom to not be worried when they look a different direction. Remember one of the job's of a submissive is to reflect well on the Dom. That means she should be a lady and attractive = arm candy. So the Dom shouldn't mind or worry if she gets admiring looks from other men. He should enjoy that he has her and show her off. Conversely, having a Dom should make other women jealous of her and wish they could have someone like him. Both parties should feel comfortable enough in the relationship that there is no jealousy. If there is there's a problem someplace.

As I told my girl... you make all the guys jealous of me and I'll see to it every woman in the place willl wish she was you!
My Mistress taught me that She doesnt do jealousy and neither should I. She often told me " if someone can take you away from me. I dont want you! Your devotion to me needs to be absolute. " I have tried to pass down that sentiment to my kittens as well.