I'm in relationship with this girl who doesnt really seem eager about taking our relationship to the next level. she keeps saying she's thinking long term and we'll hav much time for those. that's okay for me and i respect her thoughts. but, the problem is, she was like rock hard when we had a deep kiss for the first time, rather i should say when i kissed her deep for the first time. and now she avoids smooching as much as she can and i too dont try, hoping she'd make a move someday. but all these are making me depressed as i can't figure out what's wrong!
p.s. i'm sure she's genuinely in love with me, there are so many other things other than sexuals that tells me how she really cares about me.
I'm confused. Explain what you mean by "she was rock hard"? Was she standing straight up/rigid and not responding to your kiss? Usually when someone says "rock hard" (at least on Lush) they're talking about a penis.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates yeah i meant she was standing still, moved not a part of her body
If you love her, and she loves you... you only have a few options. Accept that she's not ready for physical affection and wait until she's ready. Accept that she's not ready for physical affection and move on to someone else. If you love her, then you can be understanding of her fears and deal with it. How long you can accept a non physical relationship is up to you.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates well i cant even think of leaving her, coz i love her! but isnt this going to be a problem if she's not really much interested in sex while i am very much in it?
It's a cultural thing no doubt, for now, as she's from a pretty conservative society. Age is not a matter. Nor religion. Considering her background, I've made up my mind to wait for things to take place at their own pace. We've known each other for 4 years, we've been in relationship for two years. And now a kiss, which they say signifies many a things, is so very dull! Now, considering her conservative upbringing, if I go on to be more serious about her and then marry her without knowing about her sexual side properly,.. I'm just wondering what i can do to make sure our relationship stays strong.
If she's a very inexperienced girl (ie. a virgin with little understanding of sex), then she might genuinely just be thinking that if she gets you excited, it's going to lead to other things...things she's not ready for.
I see that you're 19 and living in India. While you mention that it's just a conservative society and not to do with religion, I'm sure that's playing a factor in things or at least is shaping her view of what 'proper girls' do.
I'd like to say don't think of getting married if you haven't established some level of sexual chemistry, but I dunno in this situation - the cultural thing definitely plays a big part of it if she's very culturally conservative.
You may need to just communicate more. Tell her that you want to express your affection for each other and that kissing/making out or whatever will just be kept at that - that you'll respect her need to go slow and things don't have to progress to levels she's uncomfortable with. She might just need some reassurance. For all you know some aunty or her mom might have given her the impression that guys are always sex-crazed heathens and that she needs to protect her virtue at all costs. Maybe she doesn't know how far you're trying to go with her or what the limits are or whether you'll be able to control yourself.
Communication is key, as usual. If she's still putting you off and seeming asexual around you, then you really have to figure out if you want to gamble on that if you get married and hope the rest falls into place. I mean two years is a long time for a relationship to just be sustained on a dull kiss... I can see why you're worried. Some women have lower sex drives than others. Or she might just not be that into you. Hard to really say at this point.
