This is the situation. Here almost 6 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me(why u ask)? Well I am 17 years older than she is while she GROWN she is19 but still at home. Ne'hoo this WOMAN is more mature than ppl my age. I didn't expect things to go that far with her at most I was just hoping for a good ass friend someone to talk to. So. When she broke up with me I'm all fucked up no eating Mos sleeping I didn't wanna be around anyone. Round about 3 months of being apart I swore I was over her even went to her new girls house (I acted accordingly) turns out 6 months after we part I'm not over this WOMAN at all I'm still in love with her and wouldn't you know it she tells me I'm still in love with you I never stopped! I'm like damn why did you listen to them and break up with me then? Though I'm putting myself in her shoes so I do understand where she's coming from. This Woman know me better than I know myself she has inspired me to go beyond my comfort zone. But now I'm back to thinking bout her all the time(not that I stopped) she's the first thought in the morning the last at night she's like a security blanket that calms me just by speaking kind words or just holding my hand!(no one else can calm me but her) the thing is I honestly don't know what to do we are still friends just not girlfriends
It sounds like the two of you are deeply in love with each other. But if she was willing to let you go because of what others think/say, that speaks volumes. She loves you so much, but wasn't willing to stand up for you when it counted most.
I mean if you wanna play the waiting game and wait around for this GROWN woman to say to hell with everyone else and just be with you, that's fine too. But don't get your hopes up. I mean she basically told you she was still in love with you and left it at that. Maybe she likes the idea of knowing she can still have you. It's not like it's forbidden love. Are her parents gonna put her out for being with you? If there were no consequences other than people saying bad things about your relationship, that says a lot as well.
It's really important to know when it's time to let things go. Sure fighting for your love is a romantic notion, but it has to be a two-way street. And maybe you love her way more than she thinks she loves you.
So try talking to her, and if she's still not willing to budge or is still worried about what others say, it's time to let it go.
I know I should let go! My head knows this but my heart ain't ready to accept that fact yet. For a min I found a distraction but that wouldn't have worked either she was stuck on her ex as well. I'm damn near 40 and honestly feel like it will never happen. For me
Quote by LaTonya38 I know I should let go! My head knows this but my heart ain't ready to accept that fact yet. For a min I found a distraction but that wouldn't have worked either she was stuck on her ex as well. I'm damn near 40 and honestly feel like it will never happen. For me
Well that sounds like the problem. There's really no advice you can take until you accept that it's over. Get a hobby. Do something to distract yourself. It won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. But without realizing it, you'll be over her. Hearing her name or seeing her won't have you in knots like it used to.
But it's one of those things that only time can fix. There's nothing neither I nor anyone else can tell you that will change that.
True. My sister thinks I'm a fool for still messing with her. She ask why and other than the fact we are still friends I can't give her an answer more like I won't! I don't need nor want to hear anything negative on the subject or about her!
Well that sounds like the problem. There's really no advice you can take until you accept that it's over. Get a hobby. Do something to distract yourself. It won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. But without realizing it, you'll be over her. Hearing her name or seeing her won't have you in knots like it used to.
But it's one of those things that only time can fix. There's nothing neither I nor anyone else can tell you that will change that.
Time will lessen the pain..and possibly someone new might as well.
Maybe writing in a notebook might help..eventually this will get a, get worse..or b, you may finally let go or accept the fact it won't be..
Time will lessen the pain..and possibly someone new might as well.
Maybe writing in a notebook might help..eventually this will get a, get worse..or b, you may finally let go or accept the fact it won't be..
Or c, you'll get back together.
Hugs..best of luck.
Jumping from one obsession to another is terrible advice. Listen to dani. Get a hobby. Something that forces you to focus on it instead of what your emotions are trying to get you to fixate on. Then you'll slip into not thinking about her without conscious thought on your end.
Jumping from one obsession to another is terrible advice. Listen to dani. Get a hobby. Something that forces you to focus on it instead of what your emotions are trying to get you to fixate on. Then you'll slip into not thinking about her without conscious thought on your end.
Would you recommend tiddlywinks or solitaire Jenga?
singing you take a block from the middle and you put it on top
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker
Jumping from one obsession to another is terrible advice. Listen to dani. Get a hobby. Something that forces you to focus on it instead of what your emotions are trying to get you to fixate on. Then you'll slip into not thinking about her without conscious thought on your end.
Would you recommend tiddlywinks or solitaire Jenga?
singing you take a block from the middle and you put it on top
Jenga. it makes a better drinking game
Unknown User
Work on you! Work on improving your inner self. How can you go wrong with that and not be better off?
I think you have to be patient. All you can really do is let her know you are still wanting the relationship and to get back together. If it were me, I would not let too much time go by, and then periodically let her know. After that point... it is about time and acceptance. Either you can go on with your life and/or feel your feelings and deal with it like anyone would have to, and maybe you will get back together and maybe you won't...or you can pursue her and pull out all stops to show her you love her. The choice is yours, but either way, be careful.
Too much and you could scare her and push too hard. I mean life isn't about always getting our way, we have to be able to let go and not push our will and allow people to grow and do things in their own way and time.
That said. I have been stalked. I have had games played on me to win me back. Needless to say that did NOT work. That person ended up in prison for an unrelated stalking charge to some super model~ and obviously he doesn't understand boundaries!
You cannot eat and cannot sleep and did you go out and have sex? Try to see someone? Try to force yourself to move on? How about just allowing yourself whatever time you need to heal? This is not a race? It won't really make it better to distract. You don't have to kill yourseldf or become a hermit, but you can grieve and make choices. If she knows how you feel and that you love her, that is what is really important.
On another note. I am not 19, but no one influences my choices like that. I have learned not to try to control an outcome. Yet thankfully my bf who is even younger in the age-years between you two, has not LET me walk out. I have tried many times actually. So far~ true love won. This is how you find out how ready and true it is.
So if she really feels the same...it SHOULD work out. How will that go down? MYSTERY. Maybe you need to let go now and see, or ask, or pursue, or just pray and be patient? We cannot tell you the magic one or just right magic combo to do. If any psychic or any other person/s could tell me then all those times and heartaches and mistakes I would have had it made and never have to worry or think for myself and BOY did I wish someone could have told me what I should do. Even the best advice can be wrong.
Meanwhile... try working on YOU, that should take some of the focus off what you do not have and the negative and put the focus back on you, helping you feel more positive and like you helping yourself get better-it is the BEST hobby and beats the crap out of "Jenga" or solitaire -though I do suggest movies and things to make you laugh. Real, sincere laughter, especially at ourselves, is some of the best medicine.
Quote by 1LovelyKinkyKitsune I think you have to patient. All you can really do is let her know you are still wanting the relationship and to get back together. If it were me, I would not let too much time go by, and then periodically let her know. After that point... it is about time and acceptance. Either you can go on with your life and/or feel your feelings and deal with it like anyone would have to, and maybe you will get back together and maybe you won't...or you can pursue her and pull out all stops to show her you love her. The choice is yours, but either way, be careful.
Too much and you could scare her and push too hard. I mean life isn't about always getting our way, we have to be able to let go and not push our will and allow people to grow and do things in their own way and time.
That said. I have been stalked. I have had games played on me to win me back. Needless to say that did NOT work. That person ended up in prison for an unrelated stalking charge to some super model~ and obviously he doesn't understand boundaries!
You cannot eat and cannot sleep and did you go out and have sex? Try to see someone? Try to force yourself to move on? How about just allowing yourself whatever time you need to heal? This is not a race? It won't really make it better to distract. You don't have to kill yourseldf or become a hermit, but you can grieve and make choices. If she knows how you feel and that you love her, that is what is really important.
On another note. I am not 19, but no one influences my choices like that. I have learned not to try to control an outcome. Yet thankfully my bf who is even younger in the age-years between you two, has not LET me walk out. I have tried many times actually. So far~ true love won. This is how you find out how ready and true it is.
So if she really feels the same...it SHOULD work out. How will that go down? MYSTERY. Maybe you need to let go now and see, or ask, or pursue, or just pray and be patient? We cannot tell you the magic one or just right magic combo to do. If any psychic or any other person/s could tell me then all those times and heartaches and mistakes I would have had it made and never have to worry or think for myself and BOY did I wish someone could have told me what I should do. Even the best advice can be wrong.
You're always an amazing voice of reason, my sweet friend...so wise....you rock!
Love and hugss..
Unknown User
Quote by daddysweetheart
You're always an amazing voice of reason, my sweet friend...so wise....you rock!
Love and hugss..
*Kisses yo cheeks... XD
We are both just trying to be helpful and empathic & throw stuff out there. I hate to see people hurting or drowning in emotions without knowing there are life preservers out there waiting to be grabbed. I actually liked what you said too. I wasn't a fan of distractions either, and I try all that other stuff, really not a rebounder and did not go for that, but it also darn near saved my butt twice from my long stints of dealing with crap alone and being depressed! So sometimes we do what we gotta do, maybe not a fix, but there are many things we can do that are only bandaids for a big gaping gash and many things that can mess us up more!
*Kisses yo cheeks... XD
We are both just trying to be helpful and empathic & throw stuff out there. I hate to see people hurting or drowning in emotions without knowing there are life preservers out there waiting to be grabbed. I actually liked what you said too. I wasn't a fan of distractions either, and I try all that other stuff, really not a rebounder and did not go for that, but it also darn near saved my butt twice from my long stints of dealing with crap alone and being depressed! So sometimes we do what we gotta do, maybe not a fix, but there are many things we can do that are only bandaids for a big gaping gash and many things that can mess us up more!
Love to the sweet sub-sis
You are right - time helps...
Aww Thanks my sweet-sis...love to you too..true, your last part..can mess us up more.
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