Alright so this was the deal in 1978-1980... It's not happening now, but...
That woman was the very definition of Cold Fish... I dated her youngest daughter for almost 3 years and was never invited to a holiday or family dinner.
Hell, I was never invited inside the house...as in not through the fucking front door. I had their daughter home before the 11pm curfew, then before the midnight curfew...then (well she was at college the third year and there was no curfew - and by that time I didn't give a shit about the familial home...I wanted her room mate out of her dorm room on weekends).
So, Auntie...how do you deal with a parent who apparently doesn't like you, just because you aren't the guy she wants her daughter to be infatuated with?
ps...Me and the girl's father got along pretty well, but he didn't wear the pants in the family as he never invited me inside or out to his back deck either.
The mother even asked me on a phone call (around month 34 or so of us dating steadily)... "I hope you and Marilyn have never had..."
"No, Ma'am...your daughter and I have never......"
Yeah, I wasn't going to be a total asshole about the whole thing. "Your daughter and I invented about 7 new positions, Mrs Smith, you'd be a grandmother by now, except we both know you can't get pregnant by swallowing cum."
How do you deal with a parent who detests the very sight of you...while you're in love with their daughter (or son)?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
I'm not sure you can, the way I see it is this:
A) for some reason, your look, the fact that your dating their daughter/son, the way you talk, etc etc, something intrinsic about you has set them off and its unlikely that you will ever be able to change it satisfactorily to the point where they will like you.
B) something you did just offended them one day and unless you can figure out what it was and level with them they will either get over it eventually or hold a grudge and dislike you forever.
C) They don't like you because their new and they don't trust the new ones. Over time eventually they may warm up to you or may decide they don't like you.
Short of sucking up and really going way above and beyond I'm not sure you can ever make someone who doesn't like you change their mind.
I'm actually pretty curious as to what kind of response this thread will get. Think I'll watch this one.
I've run into very few that didn't like me from the beginning. I don't suck up at all..I say things as I see em. The ones I initially had problems with eventually accepted me partly because: A) I would actually have intelligent conversations with them B) they eventually figured out the more they hated me, the wilder it would make their daughter fight back (which was a bonus in my favor). Quite often I would even point this out to them.
I was the quintessential 'bad boy' growing up yet still found that parents generally found my honest straight-forward approach refreshing somehow. I guess once they came to realize I wasn't intimidated by them (even one cop and a preacher), they would also see that I would stand up for their daughter in the same manner. Of course this only pertained to 'relationships', the ones I just had fun with once or twice and passed along were a different story completely. lol
Knowledge is nothing if not shared, with your slave, your community, and those wishing to enter into it. So I will continue to look for topics to give My opinion about, yes opinion.
*** Disclaimer ***
My way of thinking doesn't fit everyone, nor does anyone elses, it is not My intention to tell anyone else here how they must see or do things, as there are as many views of what "the life" means to people as there are people in it.
I hope it isn't because you spit on her genitals..oops, that's a different forum thread. As long as it's not happening now, what's the beef? Parents have all sorts of reasons to hate ANYONE who's taking their baby away, isn't good enough for them, etc etc. And you can't get into a "do you love me more than your parents?" b.s. game, because that's just wrong, too. Avoid confrontation, prove your worth and sometimes the 'rents come around to see you're not so bad after all.
I agree with Buz (when he was being serious lol.) I would say my mom is a lot like that sometimes, she has her plans and sometimes she doesn't like them challenged.
Well it's simple really.
All you need to do is wait until she is in the house on her own and then carefully set light to it.
Drive around the block and then crash through the front door declaring that you were 'just in the neighbourhood and spotted the flames' put out the fire and rescue her (together with any animals in the house at the time)
Even an old fish cannot resist a hero
Of course if you get delayed and are not 'just in the neighbourhood and spot the flames' then that is also problem solved
lol when she asked that on the phone, you should've been like, "Really? You didn't hear her screaming in pleasure last night? Damn, you must be a heavy sleeper."
She sounds like an angry narcisisst..
Look it up online. Good luck.
ok here is a mama's point of view
I don't like my son's gf
she is rude and never ever says hello to me
and she tells my son I intimidate her
(me good manners are good manners and if you cannot suck it up to your loved ones parents(for the few minutes you are with them) then you have to move on)
see she is a size zero and all she ever does is moan about her size zero body and the fact my son never takes her anywhere
so here is a bit of tough love
unless she is a total bitch and I am not saying she isn't..for we ALL have met people LIKE that!!
I doubt it is all HER fault
so I suspect you have a TON of charm in you
get your gf to tell you what her mama loves
and you WOO her with that
woo her mama...
but if you have tried everything and STILL she hates you
you might have to do some hard thinking
for I am TELLING you holidays are gonna be a BITCH from now until the END of time
so come on and work it wellmade
YOU can DO this!
You know, except for the part of dorm life in college, I would have thought you were one of my ex bfs ....lol but...
You know, it might not be anything you have done, it may be the fact that you re dating her daughter, and that no man will ever be good enough for her.
As far as never being invited into the house, I have to say that as a teenager, my folks were so private, that I had very few friends who ever came into my house. In fact, I had my two best friends, and there was the family across the street, that was it. It had nothing to do with who our friends were, it was about who my parents were, or more precisely, my mom. There is nothing that can be done about it, you would just need to get over it and continue to be who you are or move on because her folks don't invite you in.
Buy her flowers .. that worked for me .. failing that charm her with lines like 'I cant believe you are my gf's mother .. you just dont look old enough'. Beyond that give up.
I've been on the other side of that. My mother absolutely hated my ex-boyfriend. She wouldn't let him in the house either, never even invited him to dinners out with family or friends. But have you ever hated someone to the extreme that you don't ever want to be around them? Could anyone or anything have changed your mind? As long as the person you are dating loves (or likes, depending on when in the relationship) you for you, then it's just something that you have to put aside. There's a chance it may not be personal. Some parents have trouble accepting that their children are adults no matter what age they are. But more than likely, if they don't like you, they ain't gonna like you. If it exceeds past just dirty looks and just being blatantly ignored, then you have to ask yourself if its worth it. If "yes" doesn't come almost immediately, then it's probably not.
She's a saint with the lips of a sinner.
- r.m. drake