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I can't orgasm..

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I feel horrible because I can't orgasm at all.. Whenever my boyfriend and I have sex, I get really turned on and horny, hell sometimes I even get really close... But i never do... This even happens when we are just messing around. Nothing happens and I feel like I'm failing him...
Kat12 :)
Can you orgasm when you masturbate? You may just need to stimulate your clit as you have sex. Some women just have trouble orgasming with penetration alone. You are not failing anyone. It just takes time and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
I think the problem may be your boyfriend. He's probably not spending enough time on foreplay.He could only be thinking about his own release & not even considering yours.You may want to talk to him about it. Be tactful though he may not even be aware of what he's doing.
have this problem as well. as the others have said, clit stimulation will help, tell him what feels nice and what doesn't. but then again, maybe you're too anxious when you're making out? Relaxing would do the trick if that's the case. orgasms aren't forced to happen, they just do. hope this helps. smile
First off, stop 'feeling horrible'. You've done the most difficult part already since you've found a man that you want to have an orgasm with. You also get horny and really turned on. A lot of girls will be jealous of you.

There is no reason to think that your lack of orgasms is in any way a failure. A lot of men don't care whether their girl comes, so long as they get their rocks off. If you or your man does care, you need to teach him how to get you off. Unfortunately for you both, this may not be one of the ways you’re “supposed” to have an orgasm. Porn teaches us that it only happens during intercourse, or oral sex.

That's a load of crap.

If you want orgasms as part of sex, my advice is to find what works. For most girls, this means fingers and / or vibrators. Make masturbation part of sex with your man. Watch some mutually-satisfying porn together. Use your fingers / show him exactly what you do when you masturbate. This might be cringy but it'll be worth it. If he can't mimic what you do, you'll have to tell him. Be explicit about what goes where, pressure, pace, etc.

Good sex doesn't just come naturally. You have to work at it. Teach him what pleases you. Once he knows how to make you come and you relax enough to let him, you’ll probably find it easier to climax in other ways with him.
Is the problem really YOU. Maybe its the boyfriend. Is he too quick or is he there just for his OWN pleasure.
I gather you have an orgasm when you masturbate or have oral.
I suggest next time you try it on top where you do all the moving and get his cock where it does something for you. Generally on your clit. It may take a bit of trial and error (and some good fun) but eventually you will find the best position for you to make it happen and believe me once you do you will never regret it and neither should he.
I think it's in your head. U r so focus on reaching orgasm that it's stressing you out. Relax and get into it maybe a few wines to take the edge off. Stop focusing on ur orgasm and focus on enjoying the moment and it will hit u before u know it.

Good luck.
Quote by Olivia
First off, stop 'feeling horrible'. You've done the most difficult part already since you've found a man that you want to have an orgasm with. You also get horny and really turned on. A lot of girls will be jealous of you.

There is no reason to think that your lack of orgasms is in any way a failure. A lot of men don't care whether their girl comes, so long as they get their rocks off. If you or your man does care, you need to teach him how to get you off. Unfortunately for you both, this may not be one of the ways you’re “supposed” to have an orgasm. Porn teaches us that it only happens during intercourse, or oral sex.

That's a load of crap.

If you want orgasms as part of sex, my advice is to find what works. For most girls, this means fingers and / or vibrators. Make masturbation part of sex with your man. Watch some mutually-satisfying porn together. Use your fingers / show him exactly what you do when you masturbate. This might be cringy but it'll be worth it. If he can't mimic what you do, you'll have to tell him. Be explicit about what goes where, pressure, pace, etc.

Good sex doesn't just come naturally. You have to work at it. Teach him what pleases you. Once he knows how to make you come and you relax enough to let him, you’ll probably find it easier to climax in other ways with him.


Take this ladies advise and learn to relax. It's supposed to be fun and enjoyable.
Sounds like he is crap in bed with me.. not that I am a professional.. to get you there, but not quite.. I would suggest laying down, taking a deep breath and imagine a pineapple (sorry) typo, I meant close your eyes take a deep breath and imagine Henry " The Hunk" Cavill you will come for sure.. I always do.
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You wrote in Feb '14 -Have things improved?
Hopefully things have improved. I have thing friend of mine who had the sorta same problem.what she and her bf did was just as she was close to orgasm. He would incrrse his speed and just at the edge....he would press his thumb inside her ass to send her over the edge. You might try it.
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It took me two years. To teach my wife to relax and to trust me. I stared with oral sex. Licking her around clit. At the same time looking to see how she was breathing. A man can tell when a woman cum by the way she breaths. Then when she relax I would start to work on her clit a little at a time being careful not to cause pain. Then some times I would move back and forth. Form her clit to her pussy. To keep things going I would lick the inside of her pussy.The day I made cum. Was wend I suck on her clit between my lips. Then lick the end of her clit. She was cumming so hard! She was holding on to my hands humping my face hard! The other thing she like to lay down on her back and let me rub my cock up and down her slit and clit.I would push my cock into her. I would then sit back and push with my hips at the same time I would rub her clit. The first time is the hardest. The thing is. Can you trust your man enough and will he do this for you?
If at first you don't succeed, try try again. Oh, and talk to each other honestly about this as well. Before,after, and especially during .
First dont put pressure on yourself I know its hard , relax enjoy wnd keep going as long as youcan im very gift with my mouth and try to go as far as ican then if my wife is ogasming or close it cmon and lets do the wipd thing when her legs shake in pleasure im cool but experiment with toys rp keep it exiting and u will find it be honest with each other and talking to each other is great foreplay xxxdont give up girl it will happen xx