My wife has had one lover during our marriage, she told me about it and it was fine. I got to watch and at times even joined in and played too. I could hardly believe it was her, as she thoroughly enjoyed herself being a total slut with this new guy. This lasted on and off for about 2 years. It's been about 4 yrs since and I have tried to get her to get another lover to spice things up, but she adamantly wants nothing of the sort. How do I encourage her to do it again and bring out the naughty side again?
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
If she's adamant about doing that again, then she's not going to. Perhaps she feels like that chapter of her life is closed. You pressuring her to re-open it will do nothing but cause strain. Instead of trying to make her get naughty with another lover, perhaps you should focus on bringing those things out of her. Everything is fun for a season, and she's made it clear her days of taking other lovers is over. You should accept as well as respect that and focus your attention on her.
I hate to make assumptions, but maybe it hurts her that a great deal of your excitement comes from seeing her with another man instead of you pleasuring her yourself. Maybe her refusing to sleep with other men was a message indicating just that.
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You can bring out a girl's naughty side without things like cuckholding and threesomes. If she doesn't wanna do it then don't try and make her, find other kinky things to do and see if she wants to try any of those.
Noting takes the place of communication.h9XIlt7vzIaUB8ui
Thanks for the honest answers everyone.
I can't help but thinking I'm missing something. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly adore my wife. About 6 months ago she had gone out on a girls night, aparently there were quite a few younger guys there who were giving the wife plenty of attention. When she came home at 2 in the morning, she was really turned on and stayed like that for about 2 weeks. I think that there was a possibility that one of the guys had been calling her. So she must have been thinking of the possibility of something happening.
There are plenty of ways to sex things up without getting into swapping and threesomes. I'd be happy if my other half would be into some light bondage and roleplay or toys. No third parties required. Time for a chat (for both of us, really).
Men and women can get turned on by having a lot of attention given to them. It does not mean they are cheating, or even getting calls from other people. It does not even men that they are thinking they WILL have sex with another person. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes all, or any combination of those things can be happening. But normally, not. They simply get sexually charged knowing OTHERS find them desirable. And when they feel good about themselves, they often become more sexually active (and charged) with their partners.
It sounds to me though, that you might want for her to be with other guys because it turns YOU on. Now that is not by default a "bad" thing. But know that your desires may not be hers. And often (as pointed out by others) people's needs and desires change over time. Their sexual interests and reasons for them change. And as for why she may or may not want to have sex with other guys with or without you, no one really knows but her. Have you ASKED her?
But like others have stated, there are many ways to bring out the naughty side of a spouse if they HAVE one (sorry, not all have them). It sounds like your wife has one. So I would suggest sitting down some evening over a glass of wine and cozy atmosphere and just talking with her. Share your desires and discuss things. Start slow and don't push. Then you two can begin to act on the things you share, either immediately or incorporate them into your lives.
Other than you feeling YOU might be missing something, is the rest of your sex life doing well?
Hi John.
Thanks for finding the time to put all that down. I have discussed this with her a few times and have had her reply that she is not sure why she feels this way at this point in her life.
Other than that things are ok, we have been married for about 20 years and my wife is a lovely 50 something wife, slim, well proportioned and very pretty.
I must admit that I do get turned on by her being with other guys, but that is not the only thing that stimulates me, and I am not forcing this on her at all.
I think as guys get older they still need a fairly physical interaction with their mate to keep the fire alive.
............you might try asking her to be a little bit naughty.....thats alle it took for me ...to agree ....love being naughty...ask me and see ...lol