help please

Quote by justalilfun
You may not like my advice, but here it is.

Get him alone, in a car/room etc where he cannot be distracted from you.
Tell him how you feel, explain to him things are as you have told us. You can give him examples if you like.
Make sure he cannot feel you are entering into an argument as you explain yourself - you don't need that.
Let him have time to think about what you have to say, we men don't like to be rushed.

If he does not reciprocate your love, your heart will be broken. But you will know for sure how he feels towards you.

If he does not reciprocate your love, then he is a fool and not worthy of your love.
Do not go looking for a rebound relationship. You will only be hurt more in the long run.

Hope it all goes well for you.

Quote by daddysweetheart
What do you do when you are last in someone's life who says they love you but their actions may show differently?

What do you do when you can't get through to them?

When you resent them for not paying attention to your needs, and basic things like that.

I'm sick of sounding like a broken record.

I'm sick of being an afterthought, always.

Am I loving him in vain?

I wanted to move closer to him. A place I've never been, people I did not know.

If he can't call me and make an effort at least, I don't know what the point would be, even though I do love him very much, more than anyone I did before combined.

Quote by Olivia


Hello Margot,

The simplest way to confront all of these issues is to present him with the same information you've provided here. Go from there and see where you stand.

It seems that things are moving a bit fast, so maybe a change of pace is all that's necessary. We can't make people feel the way we want them to feel whenever we want. These things should happen organically and in their own time.

Are you asking for too much too soon? Are you giving too much of yourself too soon? These are the questions you should be asking yourself.

Something's not adding up if you love him so intensely and he can't manage to contact you. Maybe some things got lost in translation or you've maybe assumed that because you got more attached and your feelings got deeper and stronger, his have as well.

Whatever the underlying issue is, wallowing won't solve it. So you can either get lost in a pit of despair, or you can be proactive and use effective communication with your partner to confront these things head-on. Even if it the outcome isn't something you want or expect, you owe it to yourself to get to the bottom of this in order to gain some perspective, as opposed to living in a sort of suspended reality of what you think this relationship means to the both of you.

As always, I wish you all the best.

~Olivia

Quote by daddysweetheart
What do you do when you are last in someone's life who says they love you but their actions may show differently?

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

What do you do when you can't get through to them?

HE HAS NO REGARD FOR YOU

When you resent them for not paying attention to your needs, and basic things like that.

YOU ALREADY HAVE A RESENTMENT, MORE WILL BE ON THE WAY

I'm sick of sounding like a broken record.

I'm sick of being an afterthought, always.

Am I loving him in vain?

YES

I wanted to move closer to him. A place I've never been, people I did not know.

THIS WOULD BE A HUGE MISTAKE

If he can't call me and make an effort at least, I don't know what the point would be, even though I do love him very much, more than anyone I did before combined.

THERE IS NO POINT TO IT, MOVE ON

Quote by stephanie
Oh bugger...

If he CONSISTENTLY doesn't give you what you want/need then it really ISN'T a relationship...

(Cut and run...)

xx SF

("Too BUSY to talk to you" doesn't make it... You're NEVER too busy for someone you TRULY care for...) You deserve SO MUCH BETTER...

(It's worth mentioning that I have been where you are... I've SACRIFICED my time, my soul and my DIGNITY for the crumbs from her table... How that shames me now, that I could have DREAMED so much of HER and thought SO LITTLE of MYSELF... And THE MORE you give the LESS you are valued... To be someones's GO TO guy/girl is nice until you realize that they only Go To you when no-one else is available... And I really don't blame her for that... Not really... But I'm worth better... As I'm guessing are you.)

Quote by daddysweetheart
What do you do when you are last in someone's life who says they love you but their actions may show differently?

What do you do when you can't get through to them?

When you resent them for not paying attention to your needs, and basic things like that.

I'm sick of sounding like a broken record.

I'm sick of being an afterthought, always.

Am I loving him in vain?

I wanted to move closer to him. A place I've never been, people I did not know.

If he can't call me and make an effort at least, I don't know what the point would be, even though I do love him very much, more than anyone I did before combined.

Quote by Subtle


I feel for you. I live this every day.

Quote by Ls63563
I guess that as a submissive, you like being used. In that case you may have found a great guy to do that. Well except it sounds like he isn't really using you, you are using you and giving him the credit. Why not complain about Elvis not treating you right. He knows you as well and cares as much as this other guy.

Quote by daddysweetheart


This is harsh. Thanks.

Quote by shen_crazy
a.What do you do when you are last in someone's life who says they love you but their actions may show differently?
---for me i waited and still waiting and having more patience just by their side supporting

b.What do you do when you can't get through to them?
--- smile and never stop showing you care
When you resent them for not paying attention to your needs, and basic things like that.
--- go back to the time why you fell in love with such person
c.I'm sick of sounding like a broken record.
--- it really does just let it pass
d.I'm sick of being an afterthought, always.
--- youll get through it
e.Am I loving him in vain?
--- in a way yes, but the my question is are you happy even though your in vain? if you are then thats the reason why your in a situation you are now coz he can make you happy
f.I wanted to move closer to him. A place I've never been, people I did not know.
--- ask him out , like a date
g.If he can't call me and make an effort at least, I don't know what the point would be, even though I do love him very much, more than anyone I did before combined.
--- have you tried having a self time?
it seems his your world.
try to move not thinking of him at least try a day without him then try a week.it would be har at first but have some time for your self not just full of you loving him , give your self some love.

Quote by NightMan
I strongly dislike being the barer of bad news. However there are times when we must, in order to help others. All too often the heart wants what it can't have.And we don't want to accept that it wasn't meant to be. By now you have already heard enough people tell you to move on.And perhaps you have. However it doesn't end there. Unfortunately we are creatures of habit. Sometimes we go from one bad relationship to another. Thats because we look in the same place for someone that has the same features as the last person we became attached to.They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting A different result. If you don't want to be in the same position your in now in the future. You must break the cycle. Look in A different place for A different kind of person. If they look like, talk like,act like the person that disappointed you in the past. Don't waste your time or feelings on them. Realize A hurt is coming and exit swiftly. Look for someone that is more like yourself and less like your previous mistake. I know it isn't easy, but if you ever want to find true love, you'll never do it by taking the easy route. I wish you Good Luck & Good Love in the future.sUOawzW89ZFDMD9Y

Thank you so much. Really great input. You are 100,000,000 % correct.

Hugs back...thanks honey..



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PS. The worst mistake you can make is dwelling on past mistakes put them behind you and keep moving forward. Although they may ask nobody wants to hear A sob story. Just breeze by it by saying something like, We were so different than each other. It just didn't work out. Then change the subject by saying something like, So tell me more about yourself. I know your submissive and you want someone Dominant, But perhaps you would be happier with another sub. The two of you could find A Dom that may make you both happy. Love between the two of you, and discipline from the Master/Mistress.

Quote by selinaleigh2
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.....
Albert Einstein