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Difficulty Reaching Climax

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TylerStark
Active Ink Slinger
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I've seen a few similar threads here, but they're always for women and I sense the problem may be a little different. In essence, my sexual partners are rarely (if ever) capable of making me orgasm. I've been with several different women and tried just about every kink and fantasy under the sun, but every time I reach orgasm it's through masturbation. I enjoy the sex, it turns me on and I can come really close to orgasm, but so far I've been pushed over the edge once. It's not an exclusively negative thing, the ability to have 4-5 hours of continuous sex almost makes up for it, but I'd still like to be able to finish naturally. I don't know what I expect from you guys, but help me?
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
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Have you ever once just once enjoyed a vanilla sexual experience with a woman?

To have tried everything under the sun by the age of 20, leads me to wonder if perhaps you haven't also been placing a lot of emphasis on varying your experiences as well as each of your performances for the last however many years.

Sounds like a major case of performance anxiety to me.

I could be wrong. I have been a few times before.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Unknown User
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Rubbing oneself to orgasm is very different than achieving orgasm through sex..I think well made may have a point. Maybe do plain old missionary may help..either that ot perhaps a finger vibrator that u insert between you and your partner to help ease it along. Do u ah cum..ah fast when alone or does it also take a long time? What is your fantasy when u ah do yourself? Perhaps it is the fantasy that helps..u cum. Just some thoughts how frustrating...huge hugs
Dirty_D
Head Nurse
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How much porn do you watch?

This(as many here can attest) can negatively affect your ability to orgasm.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by naughtynurse
How much porn do you watch?

This(as many here can attest) can negatively affect your ability to orgasm.

Really?
I've never come across this but I've heard of it. Does it numb you to real sex or maybe overdoses your brain sensually?
TylerStark
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by WellMadeMale
Have you ever once just once enjoyed a vanilla sexual experience with a woman?

To have tried everything under the sun by the age of 20, leads me to wonder if perhaps you haven't also been placing a lot of emphasis on varying your experiences as well as each of your performances for the last however many years.

Sounds like a major case of performance anxiety to me.

I could be wrong. I have been a few times before.


That actually seems quite logical. Ever since my first time it's always been trying new things or with new people and most of the people I've been with could be politely described as 'kinky'. I wonder what it would be like to not be trying to impress the person I'm with.

Quote by naughtynurse
How much porn do you watch?

This(as many here can attest) can negatively affect your ability to orgasm.


That is not something that had ever occurred to me. While I don't watch much anymore, I used to watch a frankly alarming amount of porn.

Quote by thesexynun
Rubbing oneself to orgasm is very different than achieving orgasm through sex..I think well made may have a point. Maybe do plain old missionary may help..either that ot perhaps a finger vibrator that u insert between you and your partner to help ease it along. Do u ah cum..ah fast when alone or does it also take a long time? What is your fantasy when u ah do yourself? Perhaps it is the fantasy that helps..u cum. Just some thoughts how frustrating...huge hugs


There really isn't a fantasy, masturbation to me has always been a means to an end. I'm horny, I masturbate, I'm no longer horny. To me it's quickly, but I don't know what's "normal", it normally takes 10-15 minutes when I'm alone.


Thank all of you for the advice, I'm going back into therapy within the next few days and I'm starting to think I should stop sleeping around so much and try actually having normal sex with someone I care about. I'd never really stopped to consider that I hadn't done that yet.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by naughtynurse
How much porn do you watch?

This(as many here can attest) can negatively affect your ability to orgasm.

This was my problem when I first started having sex.
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
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You've already received some sound advice. But I'll add that you may be over-thinking it.

You may be so used to not climaxing that this is what's at the forefront of your mind every time you have sex. Just relax and let the experience take you.

Trying to orgasm can be your biggest downfall.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Olivia
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by TylerStark
I've seen a few similar threads here, but they're always for women and I sense the problem may be a little different. In essence, my sexual partners are rarely (if ever) capable of making me orgasm. I've been with several different women and tried just about every kink and fantasy under the sun, but every time I reach orgasm it's through masturbation. I enjoy the sex, it turns me on and I can come really close to orgasm, but so far I've been pushed over the edge once. It's not an exclusively negative thing, the ability to have 4-5 hours of continuous sex almost makes up for it, but I'd still like to be able to finish naturally. I don't know what I expect from you guys, but help me?


This what I like to call a shy orgasm. Since you can orgasm through masturbation, there's nothing physically wrong with your plumbing. What's wrong is in your head. BTW 4-5 hours of continuous sex is a nightmare for most women. Aside from the friction burns, we're busy girls these days and you're eating into valuable shopping / socialising time. You will actually get less and less sex if you're going to be banging away for half the day every time you get a bonk-on.

Anyway. Back to you. You've got intimacy issues. You need therapy. You need to teach yourself that nothing bad is going to happen if you lose control while there's a girl with you. Find a girl you like and tell her what's going on. Perhaps you could make it a game? "If you can't make me come in the next four hours, I get to watch the football tonight." You'd both win as she'll be so knackered from trying that she'll want an early night anyway.

Tell her that she's got a beautiful face / tits / pussy / ass / armpit (delete as appropriate) and ask if you can wank over it and come on / in it. Then get her to wank you (it's what your cock is used to) and see if she can make you come (you can help). Once she can make you orgasm, you can build this into your sex routine. You can then fuck like bunnies and orgasm at will.

Alternatively, you could stay as you are and simply contact a porn company and work for them as a stud.
Guest
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It is anxiety that is short changing your experience. All I can say is to relax, just think only of your own experience during sex. Don't concentrate on anything such as a fantasy or tdying to maje her orgasm. For now just feel the fun: feel her warmth on your penis, her wetness, the grip of her vagina, her pubes and breasts under your hands. Don't think of anything, just feel the experience. That's what I was told to do. After my second tour at Kandahar I can not achieve an orgasm. Not even while jerking off. I can maintain an erection and that took some time, but I can't blow my load. The problems are in my head. Anxiety. I couldn't even walk through a shopping mall, too many people. Anyway, hope this technique works for you. Hasn't done shit for me but might help you.