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Can you truly trust a person after they cheat?

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Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
Its almost 2 years since the original post - what is the situation now?
Buz
The Linebacker
If you owned a company and you caught your bookkeeper embezzling from you, would you let them keep their job?
VanGogh
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
Quote by Buz
If you owned a company and you caught your bookkeeper embezzling from you, would you let them keep their job?


Great analogy, Buz. I understand that very well.

I think I said this before in this thread .... the most difficult part of the cheater cheating is how disrespectful and disloyal it is to you.

But, lots of people seem to be very forgiving. I'm not forgiving. Life is too short to waste it with someone who doesn't respect you and is disloyal.

Van
Mysteria27
Prolific Writer
I have friends whose husbands have cheated and they worked it out and it never happened again.

I'm not really sure how I would feel about this. Maybe, I would say since you cheated, I'll cheat too and then we will never again.

OR...

I might just want a divorce.

It's kind of hard to say until it actually happens.

Hugs,
xo
Guest
Lurker
It depends how long you have been married.

With whom it was with. Are they willing to never talk to, or see them again.

Sometimes you have to forgive and move on.
leonardo001
Active Ink Slinger
don't trust myself why would anyone else. Number one reason I stick to sexual interludes with women who are in relationships
whenilike
Active Ink Slinger
I find it very difficult to trust someone after they have cheated. An Ex cheated on me and I never forgave her, or trusted her even though we tried to keep the relationship going. another time I found my wife flirting with an old friend the week before our wedding. I made sure the whole episode ended, but it took me a couple years to trust her again. Still I don't completely trust, but have been able to move on.
Unknown User
Don't cheat--Have the guts to tell the other person--It is over--get a divorce and go back to Square #1

Could never or would want to trust them
Simplicity
Just me
I would never trust them again. No matter how much love I have for them, I couldn't trust him again. I would always wonder. And because of someone cheating on me, I have bad trust issues now. So like GrayGhost says, WHY cheat.. be honest and move on.
Click below to see
Guest
Lurker
Absolutely not. Cheating is lying...duh.
nichols_10
Active Ink Slinger
No, You always feel empty and betrayed. You never forget and you never truly forgive,
Guest
Lurker
no way....as someone who has been cheated on yes ,,you cant trust ,,and when you lose trust the relationship is truly ruined ,,so yes you cant trust again ,,,right Hillary????
beinggood
Active Ink Slinger
i do not think so
doing my best to be good..
Guest
Lurker
I honestly can't seem to understand why she refuses to end contact with him. If your wife refuses to do so then I would suggest that you remind her that it either him or the marriage. If she still doesn't change I suggest you end it because you can already tell that your insecurities won't let you be in peace if you decided to stay.
black1
Active Ink Slinger
My view is everyone deserves a second chance as we can all make mistakes. After an affair, trust will be a big fat zero and this will need to be built up over time. Also perhaps more boundaries need to be in place as well. This latter point will need to be agreed on after discussion.
wulfin82
Active Ink Slinger
Wife was married when I met her, maybe I should have left her alone, but I didn't. Oh well
PointBreak
Rookie Scribe
not an easy thing to do. its always at the back of your mind. love does crazy things to you especially when that happens...been down this road. bumpy ride
Guest
Lurker
I would have a tremendous time, trying to trust that person again. I've been through this before, and it leaves scars on your heart and mind. So no, I would always be questioning.
farmerroger
The Bruiser
I truly believe that i couldnt ever trust that person again if they was to cheat

For the past few months I’ve been using Instagram and been using the site to post my photography . Here’s the link to my profile 

https://www.instagram.com/farmerroger1/

My recommended read

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/amongst-the-arabian-sands

here’s a link to my photography album in my media

https://www.lushstories.com/profile/farmerroger/media?album=2399646
Unknown User
Of course you can. It's just sex.

Don't take it seriously.


Now, emotional cheating is the worst thing your partner in crime can do.
calx86
Active Ink Slinger
Considering that this is how my last relationship ended I'm going to have to so no, but this is an emotionally touchy subject for me right now...
TrinityX
Chat Moderator
It's possible, yes. Whether or not it's likely, depends on plenty.
farmerroger
The Bruiser
It all depends on the person some people can forgive and and forget but others cant

For the past few months I’ve been using Instagram and been using the site to post my photography . Here’s the link to my profile 

https://www.instagram.com/farmerroger1/

My recommended read

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/amongst-the-arabian-sands

here’s a link to my photography album in my media

https://www.lushstories.com/profile/farmerroger/media?album=2399646
GaynorBlue
Active Ink Slinger
Never had a relationship so I don't know. I do know your a long time dead. So kiss and make up or order a box.
Carlos2112
Devil's Advocate
Oh how many will be quick to say no, you cannot trust someone after an infidelity. That's what makes sense to me also, but I've lived through a different circumstance. I married young at 19 my then wife being only 3 months younger than me. I cheated on her left and right and she was naive enough to think I wasn't capable of it. It led to a messy divorce, a divorce that hurts so much, acknowledging that it was almost entirely my fault, it alone changed my way of thinking and made the thought of straying abhorrent to me.
That was 30 years ago and I haven't cheated since. Oh I've been worth dumping on occasion, I've wanted to cheat, been a bad boyfriend in other aspects, but I didn't, haven't, and won't be unfaithful. If something hurts bad enough you don't repeat it. Another example, I absolutely hate brussel sprouts! I am in no danger of sneaking off into a motel room to clandestinely eat the hateful substance.
Communication is everything. If a man or a woman wants to cheat I will always advise to talk it out honestly and without fear. Be brutally honest about what's crossed your mind and if you do it right, often, and consistently from the beginning; the goal in mind being to safeguard the relationship against cheating and other terrible things people do to each other, it can be avoided or inoculated against, if you will.
It's like that song. It goes "I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger" or something like that? But alas, I was young and stupid and in my case, those were the same word, they were synonymous.
Sorry, didn't mean to write a novel. I just hope I talked some sense into somebody on the verge multiplying their sorrows.

a quick addendum. If you have a somewhat open relationship and you're both on the same page and everything's up front, by all means, get your freak on, but don't sneak around behind the others back. You're both worth more than that. I'll shut the fuck up now.



That which did not kill me didn't try hard enough
black1
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Carlos2112
Oh how many will be quick to say no, you cannot trust someone after an infidelity. That's what makes sense to me also, but I've lived through a different circumstance. I married young at 19 my then wife being only 3 months younger than me. I cheated on her left and right and she was naive enough to think I wasn't capable of it. It led to a messy divorce, a divorce that hurts so much, acknowledging that it was almost entirely my fault, it alone changed my way of thinking and made the thought of straying abhorrent to me.
That was 30 years ago and I haven't cheated since. Oh I've been worth dumping on occasion, I've wanted to cheat, been a bad boyfriend in other aspects, but I didn't, haven't, and won't be unfaithful. If something hurts bad enough you don't repeat it. Another example, I absolutely hate brussel sprouts! I am in no danger of sneaking off into a motel room to clandestinely eat the hateful substance.
Communication is everything. If a man or a woman wants to cheat I will always advise to talk it out honestly and without fear. Be brutally honest about what's crossed your mind and if you do it right, often, and consistently from the beginning; the goal in mind being to safeguard the relationship against cheating and other terrible things people do to each other, it can be avoided or inoculated against, if you will.
It's like that song. It goes "I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger" or something like that? But alas, I was young and stupid and in my case, those were the same word, they were synonymous.
Sorry, didn't mean to write a novel. I just hope I talked some sense into somebody on the verge multiplying their sorrows.

a quick addendum. If you have a somewhat open relationship and you're both on the same page and everything's up front, by all means, get your freak on, but don't sneak around behind the others back. You're both worth more than that. I'll shut the fuck up now.



That does make good sense in many respects . Thanks for posting
Guest
Lurker
How quick everyone is to judge without knowing the circumstances, situation, people, and reasons. (Never cheated and never will). People who judge others better be "perfect", otherwise they are judging by a double standard.
black1
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by JackMeHoff2020
How quick everyone is to judge without knowing the circumstances, situation, people, and reasons. (Never cheated and never will). People who judge others better be "perfect", otherwise they are judging by a double standard.


I can see where your coming from.

There are many affairs that don't happen over night but a slow accumulation of events that eventually lead up to an affair. These are the ones I would give a second chance to .Most of these start quite innocently ie a chance meeting whereby a couple of words are exchanged or perhaps some eye contact and then it just builds up from there slowly perhaps over many days or weeks .