I have been married for 27 years, and endured a largely sexless marriage. I love my wife. I am attracted to my wife. If she desired it, we could have learned to be great lovers, and had an incredible sex life. She chose not to. She wouldn't get help. Last year, after all those years, especially the last four years of no sex, I had an affair.
Can she trust me? Yes, she can! If she changes her mind, and wants to engage me as more than a husband in name, I am all hers!! She knows the ball is in her court. She doesn't know I cheated on her. If she cheated on me, I would view it completely differently. I have been here for her, all these years. If she cheated on me, I wouldn't trust her. I don't trust her now. But if she returns to me, in her heart and with her body, I am hers.
I've never cheated on someone and never knowingly been cheated on. However, I feel if someone has the capability to cheat once, it's always there and trust will always be affected from then on :-(
I've never cheated on someone and never knowingly been cheated on. However, I feel if someone has the capability to cheat once, it's always there and trust will always be affected from then on :-(
Have you ever sucked a cock without her knowing?
Forgive, yes at some point. Trust...oh, hell no.
I have my reasons. I have my hopes. And I did have that affair, but it was a long time coming. I used to write a lot of stories for this site, for me, before I went cold turkey awhile back. I don't fit...in anyone's thinking, most likely, with how I have endured.
Trust is a practice and a process. It isn't an event or a destination.
There are too many nuances to this issue for a straight yes or no answer. Because you can count on the fact that an imperfect person will hurt you in a relationship, and you can trust that some people learn from some of their mistakes.
If I caught my wife with another man, and then found out she had been lying to me for years to cover her tracks, then, no, I'd never trust her again.
But if she traveled out of town for work or a social event, had too much to drink, and ended up with another person once, I could get past that. Because you have to balance that against everything else in the relationship.
Just to be clear, I've never traveled out of town for work or a social occasion and ended up with someone else. So I'm not looking for acceptance for past sins. I'm just looking for the outer edges of the issue.
My ex cheated on me with some random floozy at a club. She wrecked the dashboard of his car with her 4-inch hooker heels (no offence to anyone out there who's NOT a hooker but uses 4-inch heels) because she had her legs raised for obvious reasons. When I found out, I yelled at him, cussed at him and told him to rot in hell. That was 5 or so years ago and I still don't trust him. Don't get me wrong; we're on good terms now but if I was forced to put myself in his hands again, I'd rather shoot myself.
I've learned my wife is cheating on me after 25 yrs of marriage. I love her and will never hate her, but, for all her lies and cheating, I'll never trust or respect her again.
The kind of unconditional trust that existed before the cheating, probably not. But I could see a kind of asymptotic curve heading back in that direction.
Absolutely NOT. Once trust is broken, it cannot be regained, and why would want to take a risk ? If they do it once, they'll do it again. Move on.
In the world's harsh wear and tear many a very sincere attachment is slowly obliterated.
Είμαι ταξιδιώτης τόσο στο χρόνο όσο και στο διάστημα
I would have to disagree with the popular answer here, and say yes it IS possible to 100% trust some one again. That said, it is one hell of a journey and more often than not it is one that you never quite make it to the end of. So yes it is possible but but hard and rare to do/find.
Every case is unique though.
Me and the OH are a perfect example of this..
We've been together almost 6 years now, started a family, built a life together. We has one seriously rocky start though. When we got together we were too young to be in a serious relationship.
Long story short I cheated and told him right up, he cheated and told me only a few months ago. All in the first few months of our relationship together.
For him he had to re-build his trust in me over the following few years, I started bad as in he was wayyyy too controlling cut me off from anyone who happened to own a willy, but over time he build the trust in me again. So much so that I have gone on to build a career in the male dominated worlds of both construction and warehouse distribution. I have several male friends whom he knows of, and is fine with.
For me only finding out after so many years devastated me, not because of the cheating, as I said we we're too young for us to be in a serious relationship, but because of the lies over so long. I went out of town for a couple weeks to get my head clear and prevent me doing something stupid (No cheating, just got some work and focused on that) Anyway I came back and that was the end of it.
He trusts me again and I trust him. It was a hard road but one we followed together. It takes a strong bond to do so but it can be done!
Nope.
Let them learn their lesson. Move forward and find one who doesn't.
I could show you INCREDIBLE things...
No, you can't ever really trust or believe in that person again. Not ever.
Personally, no. Not fully.
No.... Once the passion of innocence and love are broken true happiness will never return...
Not giving love and desire is another way of cheating .... If she dresses to please others, she's probably fucking them also. No thanks to both....I'd be gone.
I have, but it's something that you can never forget. Anytime they are late your mind goes back and remembers.
No. It's like a dog that bites you once. Forever after, it's "the dog that bites."
I don't even trust my own sister because I caught her cheating at monopoly 20 years ago.
this is one of the reasons why i've had problems considering a threesome while in a relationship. you and your partner must have a SERIOUS connection and discuss the worst case scenario. that being said, yes, i think you CAN go on to trust someone after they've cheated. BUT you have to make the decision to do so...it sounds like you haven't. it's been two years, yet you can't let it go. it's not fair to your wife and even more unfair to you. you shouldn't be constantly obsessing over 'is she or isn't she?'.
Trust and communication is the cornerstone of any successful and healthy relationship be it business, platonic or romantic. To cheat breaks both of these and as such it remains difficult to start afresh.
As much as you want to make it work it breaks your heart because you know it will never be the same. It's crossing a line, you can try to draw a new line but you can never go back. I've heard all kind of excuses, the most frequent is the famous guy line "I didn't know we were exclusive".
You're certainly putting yourself on the showcase for her to shoot your trust - yet again. If it had happened in the past ..there is no surity that it won't happen again.
Infidelity according to me, is very severe for any relationship. Trust should be mutual, and when you start feeling like you can't be loyal anymore ..that is your cue to move on and out of that relationship.
And personally I won't dare to trust a person again who has broken my trust before.
