My story begins in my last school year. Although intelligent, a good sportsman and reasonably good-looking, I was also immature, both physically and socially, with generally low self-esteem. As other boys experienced growth spurts at about 12 or 13, my spurt did not begin until I was in University. As other boys got girlfriends, I could only envy them. I could not talk to them with any self-assurance. I was not charismatic - in fact, quite the opposite.
My earlier years had been at a Catholic school where, despite having no religious influence from home, I got the usual degree of brain-washing concerning God, Hell, sin, and so on. Making new friends at a new school was not easy, and I gradually lost the few friends I had from the old school.
Occasionally, when no-one was home, I would wait naked at our large front window for a woman to pass by. I would then nonchalantly pace around, looking for clothes, clearly visible to the female walking past. No eye-contact - purely "accidental". I knew it to be sinful and I worried that neighbours might see and tell my mother, or even that the woman might tell the police, or that it would get around the neighbourhood that I was a deviate. But I loved doing it, so temptation won through.
One day Graeme, a friend from the old school asked me to make up a foursome for a walk along the beachfront. His girlfriend had a friend, Pat, who was tagging along, and I was left with her to keep company. Tongue-tied as usual, Pat proved to be an expert communicator, and I soon found out she had left school, and was at Business College learning Secretarial work. She lived in the next block, less than 100 yards from me. She was able to relax me and we seemed to get on well. So we ended up meeting, once or twice a week, at the shop around the corner and talking at the corner on our way home.
Amongst other things, she disclosed that she had been initiated into a bikie gang, and was sexually active. I did not know if I should believe her. I admitted my total virginity. After a few meetings, she told me that a friend of hers had seen me naked at the front window, and believed that it had not been accidental. I was horrified. I had been exposed as a deviate, and Pat would be appalled, and possibly even spread the fact around, possibly even to my mother.
My concern was unwarranted. It soon became obvious that this news had made me more interesting, and after she had coerced me into admitting that such exhibitionism was staged, she asked for a showing herself. After a little persuasion, even though I really was conflicted, I did agree, and we set a date and time when no-one else was home. I was in mental anguish awaiting the date, excitedly looking forward to the event, but also worried about all the potential consequences.
As the time arrived, I was naked waiting to see if she would show up, and wondering if I would even go through with it.
There she was! At the corner, across the road, smiling at me. But now I had a new problem - an erection. This had not happened to me when flashing previously, and I could not possibly allow myself to be so exposed and humiliated. So I stood with only my naked back on display, hiding my offensive friend from her view. I then left the room, not looking forward to our next meeting.
I need not have worried. She had already concluded that I must have been hiding an erection, and convinced me to try again, erect or not. So a new date was set, and the full frontal was achieved. As I looked across the road at her, erect as I was, as our eyes met, it felt as though my cock would burst through its skin. It was the most wonderful experience I had ever. I was urged to repeat a few times in coming weeks, as she got closer, eventually sitting on our front fence only four or five yards away, and I kept the exhibition longer each time.
At another corner meeting she asked if I masturbated afterwards. Truthfully I said no, and she wondered how I could not relieve myself after being so aroused, saying that each time she had gone home to immediately relieve herself! And then she asked if I could perform again, but this time try reach a climax by jerking off in front of her. How could I refuse? But the push/pull factors were even more intense as I waited for my next performance, and as she finally arrived, sat on the fence, and I stood to face her, I came almost immediately.
She stood, screamed with delight, clapping enthusiastically, then turned and ran in the direction of her home. I thought she had raced home to masturbate, a fact that she subsequently confirmed, and I stood there for a while, shaking with great pleasure, conscious that even though I had still not kissed a girl, or even held hands, I had performed one of the most intimate acts a guy can do, with a woman who obviously took great pleasure in it.
Guys talk amongst themselves of their sexual exploits, but how could I relate this experience? I had never even heard of similar behaviour, and believed other guys would regard me as weird, a degenerate. I had known that I liked being an exhibitionist. But some years later, I realised that I had begun a life that involved being sexually submissive, being humiliated and being a tool for others to play with. But this I was unaware of at the time. I don't know how long I stood there, cum oozing through my fingers, in Paradise, unaware consciously of my abandonment from which, luckily, I recovered before any one else witnessed it. I was already looking forward to our next meeting.
