Quote by verity100
Oh dear, that sounds all wrong to me, selfish even. You married for better or worse. How would you like it if your dick fell off and your wife said she needed another man to satisfy her? I like to look at things from both sides and I'm sorry if it upsets you. I'm only going by what you have said. I'd be very interested if hearing what your wife thinks. If you truly love her, look after her. If all you are doing is thinking about your needs, then she is probably better off without you.
Your attitude brings to mind an apocryphal story about Winston Churchill. A society woman is supposed to have said, “Winston, if you were my husband, I would put poison in your tea.” To which Churchill quips, “And if I were your husband, I would drink it!”
And if I were with a woman like you … Oh, wait, I’d never be with someone so judgmental and self-righteous. But what can you really expect from someone vainglorious enough to fancy themselves Mary Poppins? (“Practically perfect in every way!”) I’ve already been dealing with almost no intimacy for 10 years. You’re telling me I should willingly continue for another 30+ years? I’m not a priest, I don’t have some higher calling to celibacy.
I do all the housework, all the yard work, manage our (my) business, pay all the bills, and manage our finances (including her disability and my daughter’s survivor’s benefits). She has no clue about our bills or bank accounts, because she doesn’t care. Frankly, she couldn’t keep track of the bills and payments on her own.
As an example, she went shopping yesterday with a list to get about 5 items, and comes back with 64 items having spent over $500. I made the mistake of talking about how much we got paid for work we had done. So she spent 25% of it in one trip. Without asking if that money was budgeted for something else. I sometimes only find out about her spending by checking her credit card statements. And I can’t take away her credit cards because she’s not deemed incapable.
If I died tomorrow, she would be screwed because she doesn’t know the logins or passwords to any of our accounts. She doesn’t know where our important papers are located. We have no wills or powers of attorney because she won’t cooperate. She wouldn’t know how to maintain her application for disability benefits because she doesn’t care enough to ask. I have money in bank accounts that she can’t access to protect our family. I have to keep her from spending us into bankruptcy with her addictions, since we have already declared bankruptcy twice in 23 years. And most nights I go to bed alone for my troubles. We are together 24/7 and she doesn’t even cook anymore.
We don’t kiss or hold hands. She brushes me away like I’m diseased. I had to make the arrangements to celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary next weekend, including buying MY present. We will get her drunk (which is the only way she can be intimate) and try to have sex, but we’ve only been successful twice in the last six months.
I’m tired of being in loco parentis to my 48-year-old wife, and all I want is to relax and have some affection. I don’t want to leave her or divorce her, but my lack of an outlet is making me angry and frustrated.
