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JesseS
6 days ago
Bisexual Male, 45
0 miles · New Hope
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
From what information you have provided I'm thinking that you are in extremely unhealthy relationship. Modifying one's body is never without risk, yet rarely provides any true reward. In this case it appears that you are mutilating yourself in an attempt to live a 'fantasy' 24/7; it isn't going to happen. Further, if you consider yourself a 'pet' you really should do something to get out and move up.
Active Ink Slinger
A] It is OVER!!! Let it go, yes it hurts, that isn't going to be helped by dragging the disaster out and devoting more energy, time, emotion, etc. to it. Admit to yourself that she is out of your life.
B] If you are battling physical pain issues, get acupuncture, it is fast, effective and has NO side effects! Plus, unlike pills, once the pain is conquered, it is gone.
B] If you are battling physical pain issues, get acupuncture, it is fast, effective and has NO side effects! Plus, unlike pills, once the pain is conquered, it is gone.
Active Ink Slinger
Assuming that you are talking about dressing up to get turned on, as opposed to spending the weekend that way, suggest that you two have some sort of 'fantasy night' say every other week. Then you can take turns, each having every other 'fantasy night' to be the one picking the means to pleasure, or be pleasured, or both. Send me a note if you'd like suggestions.
Active Ink Slinger
If you want other men, be decent about it, for everyone involved, and get a divorce first. The exception to that would be if you and your's were in a 'Lifestyle' such as swinging or open marriage. From what you've written here it looks like your present course will have serious, and tragic, results.
Active Ink Slinger
Your question is well written and thought out. However, it may be the wrong question. As you admit, you are young, so the question should more likely be, why such a deep need for a relationship that one feels the need to not only be in one, but have a back-up plan for another? Take time to be by yourself and learn your self. Spend some time not having to compromise with a partner. Learn the joy of only answering to yourself, before involving another, or not. I've known a number of women, and guys, that, while in their teens, thought a commited relationship was the key to happiness. Most, at the very least, found themselves regretting compromises made and opportunities passed. Way too many were miserable by age 22. You can do better than that. Take time to get out and actually do some of the things you've dreamed of; the empowerment will be enlightening and intoxicating. Go for it!
Active Ink Slinger
You and your husband would probably enjoy a 'Lifestyle' club or resort, either BDSM or Swinger. Don't confuse 'Lifestyle' resorts with nudist resorts, huge difference. Send me a lush email if you want suggestions or have questions. To answer your original question directly, YES; so I'll be hoping to see you at one of the get-togethers 
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by sprite
get a hobby or start doing something that is sociable, where you meet people. for instance: join a choir, a band, take classes (martial arts or drama or ball room dancing or something), do sports, be on a baseball or soccer team. Get into a gaming group, like board games or war games or such. hope that helps.
I think that is an excellent suggestion! Perhaps volunteer with a group like Habitat for Humanity or, if you're a racing fan [any form], get involved with one of the teams. If you're into kinky things, spend a long weekend at a 'Lifestyle' resort or find a local club; those are FUN people!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by imaginativerogue
Guys, be honest! Have you ever gotten with a woman and found pubic hair and said to her " No I am not going tongue that!" You're men you would do her with or without!. As for me I personally prefer a smooth woman, or perhaps a little heart shaped patch just abve her clit.
Wrong, years ago maybe, but not any more. If there is hair down there, my tongue is not.
Active Ink Slinger
To get back to your original questions, there are nearly as many variations of the "BDSM lifestyle" as there are couples in it. Several of those with profiles that say they can't talk w/o permission can be found chattering away in various rooms. For most it is fantasy, the sub is 'forced' to endure being pleasured or giving pleasure etc. Some folks, like myself, have experience with the club scene, and for most it is something done, at most, a few times a month. Some have tried living it full time, but I don't know anyone who has suceeded for more than a few weeks.
Active Ink Slinger
I'm surprised at the number of suggestions for him to masturbate first. There are several possible flaws to that approach. First off, if he is multi-orgasmic, which he'd need to be for that to work, why waste the first one? Do a quickie, then a slow romantic mingle. Second, he may not be able to cum a second time; that would make even the suggestion an insult. Third, look first for the cause, then a solution. He may be one of those guys who mistakenly "saves it up" so by date night the system is overcharged. In which case masturbating during the week would help. If his penis is very sensitve, the creams, lubes and condoms, suggested by others here, could be a huge help. There is also the possibility that he just gets too wound up during the date. For that I'd suggest you look into some of the orgasm delay self-help tricks like stopping when he feels he is getting close, let him pleasure you until he has regained control and then restart; repeat as necessary. There are tons of books and videos on the subject. Some guys have improved by learning to give the woman an orgasm via mouth, hands, legs etc., then when they get to 'the act' there is no pressure to perform as the man knows he has already pleased her. As with any relationship angle, dialogue is critical. Guide him in pleasuring you, so he will know what you want and how to provide it. Sharing a girl-on-girl video might allow for some pointers without the suggestion that he is doing anything wrong. Hope some of this helps.
Active Ink Slinger
First off, tattoo removal is one of the fastest growing businesses in the US. Second, some employers still mandate 'no visible tattoos.' Third, some tattoo jobs go horribly wrong. Fourth, why? Fifth, what are the odds it will still seem like a good idea later? Can you think of anyone, outside of those who are really into the body art, who has ever said, "I'm sure glad I got that tat'" after more than a few weeks? Yes, I've seen nice tattoos, but never thought they improved a person's image. Plus, sadly, whenever someone talks about getting one, I remember the girl I met out on Hatteras, with a huge ugly purple and red blob on her bicep, result of a botched attempt to cover a botched tat.
Active Ink Slinger
It is probably far more common in stories, videos and pictures than actually amongst those in the BDSM scene/lifestyle. I have never seen anyone at the clubs, parties, or resorts do any form of GS. Even amongst those, like myself, who dig an occaisional GS session, the mouth is often off limits. I only know 1 person who tried it and he only did that once! After all, urine contains ammonia. I'm certain that the "pee" being lapped up in porn vids is lemonade.
Active Ink Slinger
It sounds to me like you are both wondering what it would be like. Sort of like trying hot-tub sex [sucks] or outdoor sex [okay] or mile high club [don't know]. Perhaps you're just looking to try something different for difference sake; so where is the harm? Maybe it is time to do a weekend at a Lifesyle resort. Sounds like she is open to suggestions and you're hoping for some new experiences.
Active Ink Slinger
Get her to a good acupunturist, ASAP. Acupuncture has been in use for over 4,000 years. It eliminates pain faster, cheaper, more permanently and, unlike medication, with NO side effects! The acupuncture points for pain control are virtually discomfort free, so don't let her avoid it based on fear.
Active Ink Slinger
First, for the erection issue, seriously, get acupuncture [no the needles don't go in the penis, rather left and right of the belly button and no, it does NOT hurt]. Second, do something to change the situation, talk, go to a marriage counselor, go to a Lifestyle Resort, do SOMETHING! Otherwise, one day it will hit you, that you wasted the good years of your life, and there is no getting them back. On further thought, it also occurs to me that the relationship is not a partnership. She demands satisfaction when and where she wants; yet your needs are of no consequence. Most likely the situational dynamics will have to change, which means you will have to know what you want and be insistant on those changes.
Active Ink Slinger
On every networking site are bunches of people treating it like a game, with "friends" as the points. My profile makes it clear that I'm not interested in friending anyone whom I'll no longer hear from. Consequently I've probably deleted as many 'friends' as some people have. Further, if they behave in some manner that annoys me, or say, are immersed in or demeaning stories, they simply get blocked; I do not want to interact with them, that number is over 20. There is no etiquette rule that says one must endure boorish, rude, invasive or pushy people; nor answer their "friend request."
Active Ink Slinger
Sharing ANYTHING about past lovers, relationships, etc. is a fast way to end the current one; regardless of how long you've been together. Bringing up someone, or something, from the past means you are thinking about it; don't go there, unless you'd rather live in the past; alone.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by LittleBambi
I'm sorry, what? People that have no talent with, or interest in, writing erotica shouldn't be allowed to use the site's functions? I have an avatar, profile and a private image gallery but because I haven't submitted a story (not even a really crappy one) I shouldn't be allowed to utilise the site's functions?
Sorry that you don't feel that people should contribute before they partake. You are welcome to all of the chat room cruisers, especially those asking for more stories, more pics and more personal info, while they remain a blank page. I'll continue to block them.