"I'm an E S Sex Girl." She accompanied the statement with a cackle deserving of a starring role in any am-dram production of 'Wicked'. I responded with my best questioning head tilt and supercilious eyebrow raise. Well, the best I could manage under the circumstances. The circumstances being that we were the leftover dregs of an after-work sortie for Happy Hour cocktails that had dissolved into a succession of Moji-Cosmo-...

There has been a complete lack of tits in my garden for the last week and it was starting to play on my mind. No cheeky little Blue Tits, no white-cheeked and black-capped Great Tits, and the pair of Long Tailed Tits who made occasional forays into the branches of the many well-lopped tree branches were conspicuous by their absence. Personally, I was blaming the army of House Sparrows which had taken up residence in the l...