I think, especially among the people that enjoy this website, that it's considered perfectly normal for a girl to have her toys, no matter whether she's single or not. Granted, a guy might feel inadequate if he opens up a drawer only to find a dildo- especially if it's a big, black, veiny 12-incher. Either way, though, I think it's generally accepted that having sex toys is healthy, and assuming all else is functional in the relationship, doesn't constitute "cheating", nor does it mean that the guy should take it as a hint that he's not satisfying his lady.
But why is it that there's not the same level of acceptance for men's toys? Maybe in the open-minded community of Lushers this isn't the case, but honestly ladies, if you went into your man's closet to grab a tie for him and ran across a blow-up doll, or a "porn star pussy", would it not creep you out a bit? But why should it?
I admit, it would bother me, even though it probably shouldn't.
So why do we (or at least many of us) apply a double standard to sex toys?
Interesting question. Personally it doesn't bother me, it just wouldn't happen to me. My guy likes toys that will get me off and often buys us "couples" toys.
However, in attempt to answer your question, I think it goes hand in hand with the nature of gay male sex & bisexuality in men. If you think about it, bisexuality in women is more widely acceptable then it is with men. Something about closed mindedness is another issue here. EDITED: Yes a double standard does exist.
But why shouldn't a healthy man, heterosexual or homosexual, be denied the pleasure of adding a toy to his fun? It should be about his pleasure and if having a porn star pussy enhances it, then so be it. Machismo might also be a factor here from the male perspective. Is really manly to have a toy?
We all have our kinks and personally I could handle this one.
It's the over the top blow up girlfriend stuff that has me smh. I saw a video once in which a guy had a full relationship with his doll. He would wine & dine her, talk to her the whole 9 and that I just can't see that as healthy. It was just damn weird.
okay from a mans point of veiw some women might get jealous of a blow up doll or a pornstar pussy as many men can only ejaculate once and in some cases that takes away from the relationship.
In my case my wife and I buy dildos, sleeves, have piercings to enhance our experiences. I recently started enjoying anal play and have used the dildos on me which is amazing but it has me questioning what a real cock would feel like.
Many men will not buy strickly male toys because they can not get off to the artificial it just does not feel the same as the real thing.
So yes there is a double standard, the main reason is that society has made it difficult for men to open up sexually, then in most cases women have been brought up that they should be enough for their man.
I think there is a double-standard in general. A lot of guys won't admit to owning toys or they are too embarrassed to go into a store and buy them for themselves. I'm sure there are many toy-owning men out there that hide them when a new girl comes into the picture, just the same as they hide the raunchy porn on their computers on secret hard drives.
Maybe they feel like the concept of needing any extra stimulation makes them seem less "manly" and "virile" or that certain toys will lead someone to think they are "gay."
The image of a woman writhing in ecstasy on a bed with a beautifully shaped toy while she brings herself to orgasm is a culturally-acceptable, sensual and attractive thing. Lots of porn is based on these scenarios alone.
There's a whole lot less porn out there feature a guy dildo'ing his ass of jacking his dick into a fleshlight tube or fucking a rubber-doll.
The image of the woman masturbating with a toy seems to connote unbridled lust and sexual libido where she just can't get enough and is extremely in tune with the pleasures of her body... The image of the guy masturbating seems to connote a desperate guy jerking off by pretending to be fucking a pussy because he can't get a real woman. These concepts are wrong, but I think they are conservatively held by many.
Personally I am in favour of toys for all, to be used separately and as couples. I'm not intimidated by the concept at all. Quite the opposite, I have bought male-toys before as gifts. I like to watch and play too. For me, it's all about pleasure. Fuck the stereotypes and hang-ups.
There's definitely a double standard, though I'm not sure why exactly. Guys talk about masturbating all the time, generally in a joking manner, but never talk about doing so with toys. I don't personally have any toys, but that has more to do with cost than anything else. Last time I checked, the Fleshlight costs about what I spend on 3 weeks' worth of groceries.
It's a tough choice, but eating is still more important than increasing the pleasure of my masturbation. At least while I'm still a broke university student.
I was never into sex toys until after I got married but I can share some thoughts from my perspective on this.
I have heard from guys that are dating gals and when they discover some toys as mentioned, in their "girlfriends" nightstand or wherever, they feel they have "competition" and may be a blow to their egos! At least from what I see, this probably applies to many men as they think that once they start "servicing" the needs of a woman on a regular or frequent basis, there is no reason for their girlfriends to need or have the toys to satisfy themselves! The guys think they are always horney and therefore they can give a gal all the sex that they want! But I believe there are a great many of us here that do not believe this to be true!
In many of my friends and myself, we have bought the toys as a safe way to experiment and add different elements of pleasure to our sex play! Yes! Sometimes it is a deal where a woman can be a size queen and take that monster 3-ft dildo and flog herself with it, but it starts out as the fantasy and may a need for some that can't find what they want or need!
Another way to look at it is if there is a couple that are madly in love with each other but one person cannot perform adequately or at all! But there is a way they both can enjoy the experience together with a little variation. Then in this situation maybe the dildo is needed as a substitute but both are involved in the sex play and they both share in the pleasure.
Kisses!
Steph
There is definitely a double standard, but I my self wouldn't be upset if my hubby had toys. The only way it could bother me at all is if we hadn't been having sex because of it or if he blew a ton of $ on them.
It was very interesting to me though that when my son reached late teens, and was going through an insane amount of hair conditioner lol, I suggested to hubby that he ask him if he wanted a sleeve and my hubby thought I had completely lost my mind. I figured it was cheaper and less mess than the conditioner and all the showers he was taking. I guess I was wrong lol.
