Friends, I'm wondering if anyone knows of a good place for couples to go to learn and experience an introduction to BDSM. I'm personally not really into it but my wife would like me to try it. I'm hoping perhaps there's a good place like a retreat with maybe some type of instructors or the sort.
Any help would be great!
Thanks
Will
In my opinion your best bet is trying things at home with your wife after some sort of discussion. I would also recommend that you do some background reading. BDSM has a very broad spectrum and any sort of accessory used in sex is classified as BDSM . This can include something as trivial as a tickling feather. There are plenty of outlets that sell BDSM accessories and some can even be improvised from household items.
Once you have had a discussion as to what both of you want then boundaries can be set .With your background reading I would emphasise the chapter about safewords. With BDSM these are essential for playing safe.
After you have discussed it, done your research, and discussed it again. Search out the local sex clubs in your area. Many have a BSDM nite. You can go observe a few times. Most of the folks attending those things are there just to watch, so no need to be embarrassed about not participating. If you decide to explore further go to a swinger hook up site & look for BSDM couples in your area who are comfortable with newbies like yourself.
I first got into the BDSM side of the Life Style when I was 17. Except for the first year of my marriage I have been into it ever since. I was a sub to my Master boyfriend from 17 until I was 21 just prior to getting married. About a year after our marriage I became Hubble’s sub. During that time I have been lent out to other Masters on a temporary basis. I have taken on the roll of Master during this time in some long term relationships. Hubble does not have a submissive bone in his body and is always the Master in our relationship and several other long term relationships.
Most of the advise above is good. There was only a couple things I did not agree with. As mentioned, BDSM is a broad genre of the LifeStyle and can run from very little participation and light forces to 24/7/365 participation and heavy forces. One of Hubble’s subs could only achieve an orgasm by being restrained, humiliated, and flogged. He never had normal sexual intercourse with her and we met with her 2 to 3 times a week. We originally met her at a local BDSM club’s meet and greet, after her hubby Master passed away and her new boyfriend did not want to be involved in the BDSM part of her life. He could not accept the idea that pain could be orgasmic.
That said I am offering to discuss this with you, your wife, or both. Preferably both would be best. I know Hubble would be willing to participate also. We have both been involved in teaching classes and holding demonstrations at clubs and conventions since 1980. I am also an avid exhibitionist. Also online with individuals, couples, and groups since 1998. We also know people that hold retreats for beginners to the very seasoned players in the same location at the same time. A couple can learn a lot by just watching novices to the very experienced performing a scene.
Let me know if that interest you and we can set up a time to meet in a chat room here or on another site to chat. I do have a few online sites I can recommend, but would prefer to do so privately after some discussion.
Done properly it can add a very erotic and orgasm boosting element to a very loving relationship. It can be a very low coast, to no cost at all to take a look and get started. You don’t need to buy a $129.99 BDSM starter kit.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, DONE IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP IT “AIN’T DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,” as a lot of people think that are not educated in the BDSM side of the lifestyle.
What ever you decide we wish you good luck. One of our philosophies for a strong, long lasting, and loving marriage / relationship is to keep refreshening the relationship with new adventures and bringing back older ones or combining some.
Brandie
