To give a little background, I’ve lived next to my neighbors for 10 years and we (my wife and I) are very close to the entire family. The husband is 23 years older than the wife and they have three daughters. When we first met the daughters, they were 2, 6 and 8. During these past 10 years we’ve taken trips together, celebrated birthdays, holidays and just hung out on weekends with each other. The dad and I are like brothers and my wife is a second mom to the girls.
Fast forward to New Years Eve 2020. The oldest daughter, now 18, had several friends over to the house to celebrate. Mom and dad were there to supervise, as were my wife and I. The middle daughter, aged 16, also had a couple of friends over. The teen party, as it was, had a good mix of guys and girls. Mom and dad decided to allow the teens to drink alcoholic beverages as long as the teens stayed the night.
A majority of the girls, including the 18 and 16 year old, were wearing short skirts. Firstly, being a guy, I was not put off by this but rather enjoyed it?! About midway through the the party, mom told the 16 year old to change because her skirt was too short. Actually, her skirt was no shorter than her sister’s or any other girl who wore a skirt. This 16 year old girl had been criticized by her sister throughout the years because she tends to be 10-15 pounds overweight. This has caused her to be less than confident when it comes to her appearance. Personally, I think she looks great and I don’t waste many opportunities to tell her so. She always gives me a hearty”thank you” with a big smile when I compliment her.
After mom told her to change, the look on her face told the story. She wanted to fit in with her sister’s friends and now she felt she could not. The daughter politely listened to what mom had to say and left the room. I saw her about 10 minutes later and she had not changed. It was just she and I at this moment and I told her that she looked “smoking hot” in her skirt. Her eyes almost welled up and she put her arms around my neck and squeezed. Then she said, “ You always know the right things to say.” In returning her hug I wanted to place a hand on the small of her back but I went too low and placed it on the top portion of her buttock. Before I could move it, she squeezed my neck tighter and thrust her pelvis toward me. I started to release the hug and she slowly pulled away kissing my cheek as she did so.
Was this a one off? Was it the alcohol? Should I stop complimenting her? Does she have a crush?
Yow. This is crossing the line into underaged referencing and may be deleted when a moderator finds it.
1. Don't ever get caught with this 16 y/o woman alone. Period. How ever innocent things might have been at that moment they can swiftly go bad if it happens again. anticipate, plan, think, be proactive, & never get caught with her alone again.
Does she have a crush? I'm lost on the definition of crush. Some people may say no, but they are not taking the risk, & its not worth it.
I would say he is a woman, how ever inexperienced, hormone charged, and emotionally mature. She has a strong sex drive she does not much understand and know a lot about controlling it. She is consciously and unconsciously trying to validate herself as a adult and woman. Out of ignorance she'll make mistakes at this like we all did and do. So stay clear of potential trap moments where misunderstandings occur and control is lost.
I'm with GMO here. First off, making certain assumptions about your age, you're an older married guy telling the 16 year old daughter of your neighbour she is "smoking hot"? Very very bad idea. Presuming your motivation is 100% intended to boost her self-esteem that isn't the way to do it.
I'd suggest maintaining a certain distance. Find a better way if you want to help her confidence but keep in mind its not really your responsibility. Sounds like a better job for her family and your wife, the second mom. This may have been a combination of alcohol, a crush or just innocence but its also a potential powderkeg. I don't think a genuine kind compliment is necessarily problematic but you may want to ask your wife for advice in terms of what is ok.
Pretty sure the Gals will have better advice than me.
Thanks for the feedback! Regarding the underage issue, I read the rules before I even posted this to make sure I could bring this up. 16 and over seems to be okay. I’ve had the time to critically think about what happened and I’ve come to the conclusion that I should choose my words more carefully. “Smoking hot” was not appropriate. In retrospect I probably should have said nothing at all. She’s old enough to tell her family how she feels. I think I’ll step back a bit and keep my nose out of their business, unless I’m asked. It was only a hug and a peck on the cheek but I don’t want her to get the wrong ideas. Thanks again!
first off, not sure of the laws in your state/country, but 16 is usually considered statutory .
that said...
what are you doing checking out a 16yo girl and telling her she's smoking hot? I swear to god. Keep it in your pants next time and don't be a pervert. FYI, keeping your distance after being pretty much a favorite uncle? yeah, that'll do wonders for her self etseem. just don't let it happen again. remember, YOU are the adult. SHE is a 16yo kid. act like one, ffs. and yeah, you're wife is going to say pretty much the same thing only probably not as nicely as me, so be prepared.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Why are you even bothering w/ a child?
You're the adult here. Wake up.
And it sounds very bogus. You fell asleep watching "teen" porn again.
Men need to keep in mind that even when a girl reaches the age of 18, she is still mentally immature. Unfortunately a girl thinks she can get her self esteem from a man. That is why men think it’s cool to cat call. They think women need to hear their thoughts about a woman’s body.
If a man wants to be truly helpful, he should look at these girls as young human beings who may be insecure about their bodies. Imagine if this was your daughter. Would you want men “complimenting” her? Telling her she has a “smoking body” or telling her she has nice “tits”?
I know all men know what they’re doing. They can either choose to respect a child who is still growing up and learning about life or they can encourage her insecurities by enforcing the thought that all she has to offer is her body.
I am shocked by some of these answers and had to reread my original post! Based on a few of the answers one would think I wrote something about having sex with this girl. How some of you can take a hug and turn it into statutory is beyond me! The matter turned out to be nothing and nobody got ! I think some of your imaginations got carried away!
