I have been trying to figure this out about myself for years, and I have now given up trying to figure this out for myself. I need help.
It is extremely difficult for me to achieve an orgasm with a partner. I can get myself off quickly and with ease. But when I'm with someone else, my body just refuses to. I have tried showing my partners how to do it properly, and even when they do it exactly as I show them and tell them to, it doesn't feel anywhere near as good as when I do it. It's as if my arousal gets to a certain point, and then it stops and stays there until I am sore and it hurts to be stimulated. Even my ex fiance was only able to get me to orgasm twice with no help from me in the entire two years we spent together, and both times I was drunk. What's odd is, even if my partner watches me get myself to an orgasm, I can do it easily. It's just when my partner tries to that it doesn't work. I have tried toys, I have tried more foreplay, I have tried building myself up halfway or almost to an orgasm and letting them take over, I have tried watching porn or reading erotica while being stimulated. Nothing has worked.
Has anyone ever had this happen to them or heard of this happening? If so, is there a way to correct it?
My ex Gf had that problem, she had no way of getting me off during intercourse and that was one of the reasons we split but lately my new Gf somehow fixed it, it is mainly the person your with, maybe you do not find them that amusing as you use to. Otherwise I have no way of fixing that.
It's a mental thing. Really. I don't know what kind of upbringing you had, but mine was a strict religious background. Sex was wrong, and dirty, and sinful, and good girls just didn't do it.
Our brains get conditioned by things like that, and even though you WANT the sex, and the orgasm, that early training can affect you. I'm just now learning more about myself and my passions because for the longest time, I NEVER had an orgasm but rarely, and alone.
Just a thought. I could be way off, but on the chance that I'm not ... there you go.
"Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader - not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon." -E.L. Doctorow
I think that maybe it's such a big deal for you, psychologically, that your brain has already accepted failure before anything even begins. You have orgasmed while drunk because you were relaxed and not so focused on reaching climax. The brain is the largest sex organ in your body and can delay or rush orgasm depending on how it's stimulated. Be assured that if you can orgasm while drunk you can orgasm sober. In fact, it's often far more difficult to orgasm after consuming alcohol. Try to focus on your favourite fantasy while your partner stimulates your clitoris. Try to relax, close your eyes and let your mind wander. The more relaxed you are and the less you focus on the negatives, the easier it will be for you to be sexually satisfied with your partner. I know this from having difficulty with reaching orgasm myself, through fellatio, with former partners. Only my wife has ever been able to get me there and it was a battle because I was convinced that I couldn't orgasm that way. Once she broke that misconception in me I had no problem and it's one of my favourite things now. I hope that this helps you to achieve your goal and have a far mor rewarding sex life with your partner.
1. Find someone who really loves you, someone who cares for you in a special way.
2. Do not think about anything else while getting intimate with your lover.
3. Remember that intimacy is one of the best things to happen in anyone's life- if it happens with the right person at the right time. God made us to enjoy our lives. So unless you're cheating on someone, intimacy is not a sin. I think that you know everything else. Good luck.
Like Orgasm the state on the west coast !
I go thru the same thing during vaginal intercouse as opposed to getting myself off.
A lot of good points brought up.
Thought there was something wrong with me..
thanks for all the good points!
I agree with daddysweetheart. Love that this was discussed and appreciate the feedback.
is that late in my last relationship the desire was there but the love wasn't. It wasn't fun and I couldn't go off. I worked hard to get her off and ignored my feelings.
