Sarah stepped back, letting the screen clear before tapping the base with her toe to restart the weighing-in process. Cautiously, she set one bare foot and then the other into the soft rubber indents and held her breath. But Sarah wasn’t looking down when the same figures resolved on the LCD. Her attention had been drawn to the frosted glass of the bathroom window, and to the flickering blue light-show which was building in her garden.
She jumped at the sound of breaking glass, instinctively cowering away from the window. Her mind processed the sound: her greenhouse. “I’ll get the bastards this time,” she muttered, throwing her dressing gown around her naked body as she launched herself down the stairs, three-at-a-time, pausing only at the back door to pick up her phone and slip her feet into a pair of wellington boots.
It was too late. Sarah crunched across shards of toughened glass, unable to believe the extent of the damage: the greenhouse had gone.
A thick lump of sadness formed in her throat. Tears welled and ran down familiar channels in her cheeks as she listened for the sounds of kids running down the alley. Things like this shouldn’t happen in Brentford. Brentford was supposed to be a quiet, safe neighborhood.
She could hear nothing, there was nothing to report. The hand containing the phone dropped limply to her side as she stepped closer to the naked frame.
Not just why… but how?
Sarah looked up at where a spherical bite had been taken out of the aluminum frame. The ends were glowing dull-red against the darkness of the February night. “My beautiful greenhouse,” she whispered, a sob escaping from the unraveling knot of emotion in her belly. She reached up to touch the metal, but her hand stopped before her fingers made contact. The sleeve of her dressing gown had caught on something. It was impossible to shake it free.
Exasperated, Sarah slid her thumb over her phone’s screen. Using the faint glow as a torch, she could just make out what was trapping her arm: four thick fingers were wrapped around her wrist. Sarah’s heart thumped wildly as she twisted the screen to follow the arm back to its body. A damaged face loomed out of the darkness and she screamed as she was jerked upwards.
Moments later, a beam of concerned torchlight cautiously examined the adjacent garden, only faintly illuminating the pair of wellington boots standing marooned amongst a sea of glass next-door.
***********************
Sarah O’Connor had a thousand things on her mind as she pulled the Volvo onto the drive. The kids were safely at school. On a whim, she decided to change her routine and go for the weekly shop rather than start cleaning the house. It felt good to break her routine. She felt a little bit wild, a little bit rebellious. She could still live on the edge. The car barely paused before she slipped it into reverse and gunned the engine, thinking of the exciting way people drove on TV. Her imagination flared: she was a detective hot on a case…
There was a muffled noise from the rear left corner of the car and Sarah’s head snapped round quickly enough to catch a glimpse of the body being dragged underneath a moment before the car rose awkwardly into the air. A wave of guilt swept through her as she recognized the relief that it wasn’t one of her kids under there. It had been way too big to be a kid.
She extracted the keys before hurrying around to where a pair of legs were sticking out from underneath the Volvo. “Errr, hello?” she said, crouching down. “Erm, are you OK?”
“I’d be a lot better if you could just move the car forward a couple of feet; you appear to have parked on my chest.”
“Oh right, yes. Sorry.” After Sarah had moved the car forward, all thoughts slipped from her mind. The house remained uncleaned and the shopping stayed in the shops.
**********************
A doorbell rang.
“Just a sec,” a female voice trilled from upstairs. There were the frantic sounds of a 20-something fresh from the shower trying to make herself presentable: the sound of a 32 E bra being clasped; the rustle of extremely uncomfortable underwear being dragged up long legs and settling between still-wet labia; of cut-off jeans being hauled up like a flag rising between twin poles; and finally of a tiny tank top, barely long-enough to reach the woman’s navel, being desperately stretched as bare feet skipped lightly down carpet-covered stairs. There was an added eagerness and bounce to the woman’s movements; a desperate energy to get to the door. It being Valentine’s Day… surely it was a surprise gift from a secret admirer?
“Yes?” she asked hopefully, as she eyed the stranger through a narrow gap in the door. The lack of uniform identified it as an unofficial delivery.
“Sarah O’Connor?” The shadow asked mechanically.
“Yes,” Sarah answered, her hand already returning from a hidden recess. Her skin prickled as she felt the eyes scanning her body with methodical purpose. Target acquired. Sarah’s eyes were drawn to the movement; to the box of long-stem roses which were being brought level with her chest. Her body fluttered: not the excited flutter of a girl about to receive a dozen red roses from an unknown admirer on Valentine’s Day; it fluttered as of the heart of a mouse which has just spotted the wide shadow of approaching wings.
Her body moved with the fluidity of a ballerina, or a combat veteran. The door came open and she stepped forward as her hand moved up in an arc, jabbing the twin points of her Taser into the exposed throat of her would-be assailant. There was an extended crackle of high energies followed stillness. The world paused briefly, watching to see what would happen next.
Time restarted hesitantly as the inert form toppled forward. The box of flowers did nothing to soften the heavy impact. Sarah retracted her foot from high above her head, from the now-empty space where she had pushed against the top of its spine.
**********************
SYSTEM REBOOTING…
POWER ON SELF TEST… OK
MASTER RESOURCE CONTROL: RUNLEVEL 5 HAS BEEN REACHED
SELF-DIAGNOSTICS RERUN: NO FAULT FOUND.
ENTERING ERROR STATE 1. LOADING DEBUGGER…
“Don’t bother,” Sarah said, sounding bored. “You’re sitting against an electromagnet.” She stirred the contents of her cup with a plastic spoon before taking a sip. The moist heat of her breath rippled against the robot’s skin and flicked its hair. Eyes opened. The view framed by wet blond ringlets contained bright blue eyes and ruby lips. The eye line dropped shamelessly to the soft curves of Sarah's expansive cleavage. She had confirmed herself as being on the list, of being a target. Circuits engaged which led to the thick swelling in the robot’s groin more than doubling in size. Sarah’s eyes were drawn to the movement but the alarm quickly passed and she looked up and smiled.
“That’s a very interesting response. So you like being tied-up? Being vulnerable?” Processors fought to make sense of the illogical questions.
“So what’s with the flowers?” Sarah asked. That at least made sense.
“I brought them for you, I thought you might like…”
“Where’s the shotgun?”
“Shotgun? I don’t…”
“Why can’t you guys just leave me alone? Every time I think it’s all over there’s another one of you guys coming back to kill me or save me. Which one are you, by the way? Are you here to kill me?”
“No, of course not. I’m not here to kill anyone,” the robot protested, looking genuinely shocked. Sarah didn’t pay any attention. She’d seen this ploy before - seen all manner of deceptions. “Especially not you,” it added, eyes swelling like a puppy that had just heard the box of treats being shaken as it was put back in the cupboard.
“So you’re here to save me?”
“Not save, exactly. Although I suppose you could say that.”
“So you’re a ‘good’ robot. What I don’t understand is, if I was going to travel back in time, I’d go and kill someone really bad – like Hitler.”
“Hitler? Who's that?”
“You know - the Second World War.”
“World War? That's sounds horrible.”
“You've never heard of the Second World War?”
“I’ve never heard of any ‘world’ wars.”
“What happened between 1914 and 1918 or 1939 and 1945?” There was a momentary flicker as memory was accessed.
“Not much. I was trying to find some clothes.”
Sarah made sounds of exasperation and took another calming sip of herbal tea. She’d forgotten how frustrating it was to talk to a machine. They were so literal, not reading the meaning into the words as a human would do without thinking. “Not last tonight. Not the time. Years: history. What happened in your timeline between the years 1914-1918?”
“I don’t know. My memory was erased before I was sent on this mission.”
“Mission?” Sarah asked, instantly focusing a spotlight on the word. “So why have you come back this time?”
“This time? This is the first time we’ve…”
“Yeah, right,” Sarah interrupted, her voice filled with bitterness and sarcasm. “Maybe it’s your first time but you're not the first Metal Mickey to turn-up here, you know. There have been dozens of you: some are desperate to kill me; others equally desperate to save me. It’s been going on for years.”
There was a pause as CPUs searched desperately for a suitable response. A sub-routine that had been dormant since a spell on a tele-helpline was engaged. “Really? I’m sorry to hear that.” The playback was cut-off just before a full refund was offered.
“There was some kind of corruption in your database and they started coming after me.”
"They?"
“The machines. From the future, trying to kill me?”
Sarah’s words were processed and probabilities were calculated. “You’re being paranoid.”
“Paranoid?” Sarah shouted angrily. “Those are easy words when the bullets aren’t aimed at you.”
The robot looked genuinely puzzled as it recalculated. The probabilities were shifting as the assessment of Sarah O’Connor’s venomous outburst was assimilated. "Kill you? Why would they want to do that?"
“Well... perhaps you should watch these films.”
Sarah held up each of the Terminator blu-rays in turn. “I'm confused,” the robot said.
“By the plot? You're not the only one.”
“There's a bootstrap paradox. It’d make a lot more sense if John wasn’t Kyle’s father.” Sarah frowned, opened her mouth to say something and then thought better of it. Perhaps the Taser had scrambled something important inside the robot’s head.
“You noticed that, huh?” she asked blandly. There was an extended pause.
"The future's not like that."
"What is it like?"
"Well, it doesn't rain all the time – unless you live in England."
"That's just a mechanism they use in films to manipulate people's emotions."
"Oh. Sorry. I haven't got any emotions, so I hadn't realized."
Sarah decided to try and extract some more revealing information. She drew the robot’s attention to the Taser by swinging it from her wrist. “Why are you here? Do you at least know that?”
“There was an accident. The father of your child was killed, so they sent me back in his place.”
Sarah replied automatically. “I haven't got a child.”
“Not yet, no. But you will have by the end of today.” Sarah felt her insides churn, felt the longing. “Inside you,” the robot added helpfully.
“Are you sure it's me?” Please say ‘yes’.
“No. All we know is that the child was conceived on 14 th February 2013 to a woman in Brentford. Her name was Sarah O'Connor.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Sarah whispered. She caught herself slipping into the fantasy and made a dismissive noise. It was just another ploy, a way to literally catch her with her knickers down. Sarah knew the machines desperately wanted to spear into her hot, moist flesh… but most likely with an actual spear.
“What does that mean?” The robot asked, noting the hardening of Sarah’s body language.
“That means I’ve heard that line before… and it was pretty corny then. You really think I'm going to surrender myself to you? Have sex with you, bareback, because I'm destined to have a child that saves humanity?”
“I'm sorry, I cannot compute the meaning of your question.”
“Let me make it simple for you: no way buster. You can't just march in here expecting me to drop my knickers.”
“Drop your knickers?”
“Have sex.”
“This child? Let me guess, he saves humanity from the machines.”
“No. Why would he want to do that? The machines are there to help mankind. That is their only function. Who would do the washing-up if it weren't for the Crudbuster 2000?”
“A Crudbuster 2000?” Sarah snorted. “That's the best you could come up with? Okay then what are you? Which model?”
“I'm an ‘Inseminator 8000’,” the robot said with unmistakable pride. “The latest model, with all the upgrades.”
“Was there a 7000 series?”
“Of course.”
“What's the difference?”
“The 8000 series has an 8-inch penis, whereas the 7000..."
"...only has a 7 inch penis?" Sarah finished.
“You’ve seen one?” The robot’s eyes opened wide, filled with hope and awe.
“Lucky guess.” Sarah gave an apologetic shrug.
“Oh.” Despite its inability to move, the robot seemed to sag a little. “There was all sorts of market research, apparently. That's what the feedback told us. Keep everything else the same - just make the penis a bit longer.” Sarah tried not to think about the machine’s penis. How tempting it was to have just a look… or maybe more.
“So you're here to impregnate me?”
“Yes. That is my primary objective.”
“And then you’ll do the washing-up?” Sarah joked.
The robot missed the humor. “It isn't one of my stated objectives. So unless you make it a condition of the impregnation, no.” Sarah frowned. The response had an edge of sarcasm. Perhaps it hadn’t missed the humor after all. A robot with a sense of humor? What other special features did this model have?
“If you're a robot... what exactly are you going to impregnate me with?”
“We extracted sperm from the father of the child.”
“Extracted? Was that before or after you killed him?”
“There was an accident. His body was very badly damaged. The seminal fluids were extracted… with a needle.” Sarah noticed the robot straining, attempting to cross its legs, to protect its genitals. It seemed a rather human gesture. The lump in the crotch was still there, she noticed. “He would have felt no pain,” the robot added, as if reassuring itself.
“So you're carrying a dead man’s spunk?” Sarah asked, screwing-up her face.
“Yes.”
“And you’re here to make me pregnant with it?” Sarah’s insides quivered: me, pregnant? She felt an inner glow that she’d never noticed before. She wanted it.
“Yes.” The glow intensified, bringing a warmth to her entire body. The erection was just there. The robot was immobilized… she could just undo his… “You and the two other Sarah O'Connors in Brentford.”
Sarah's eyes hardened again. Cold water dripped onto the glowing ember, threatening to extinguish it; to extinguish the hope. “And I'm the first on your list?” Sarah asked leadingly, willing it to be true.
The robot ignored Sarah’s emotional plea and simply answered the question. “No. You are the last.”
“Ewwww. You've already had sex with two other Sarah O'Connors today?”
“Yes.”
“It's only,” Sarah paused as she stretched to examine the clock in the hall. “11.23 AM.” She saw the robot's eyes waver, roving up and down her bare legs and over the tiny shorts covering her bum. It couldn’t be lust burning behind those eyes, could it?
“I arrived last night,” the robot replied, as though that fully explained the situation.
“And?”
“I achieved my first objective with Sarah O'Connor of 124 Harlequin Road at 00:23.”
“How did you seduce her?”
“I didn't. She heard her greenhouse exploding as I arrived in her garden and came out to investigate. I prevented her from damaging herself and…”
“Arrived? From the future?”
“From your future, yes.”
“And you had sex with her?”
“She offered to repair my damage. The primary objective was achieved at 00:23.”
“Did you... force her?”
The Inseminator looked aghast. “Most certainly not... if anything she was the one who...”
Something clicked into place. “Hang on a minute. 124 Harlequin Road? That'd be my cousin. And you say that you didn't force yourself on her?”
“No. She took me into the kitchen and cleaned my wounds. She used her hands and mouth to search for any damage sustained by my cock and balls. She insisted that I not be allowed to leave until they had proved to be in a state of full functionality."
"Lalalalalala,” Sarah said, having jammed her fingers in her ears. “I really don't need to hear the details about you and my cousin. So who was the second?”
“Sarah O'Connor, The Butts. The address was very apt,” the robot added with a wink. That humor again. Sarah had never met a robot with a sense of humor before.
“How so?” Sarah asked, knowing the answer but happy to be drawn into the question.
“She insisted that I stick my cock in her ass.”
“Her ass? Why?”
“Because she'd never tried anal sex with ‘one so big’.” The last three words were spoken in a woman’s husky voice. There had been no pride in the statement; it helped to remind Sarah that what was sprawled in front of her was a machine, not a man. But she was warming to it, with its hurtful openness and brutal honesty combining with a subtle humanity. Sarah tried to be horrified as it relayed its sexual exploits with the other Sarah O’Connors, but it was hard. She was intrigued.
“Doesn't that go against your programming?”
“No. There is no objection to slipping my cock into a woman's bum. In fact it's something of a personal preference.”
“Personal?”
The CPUs whirred for a moment. “It’s the way I was programmed. To prioritize anal sex.”
“Perverted programmers?” Sarah chuckled to herself. “So what happened? How did you deliver your payload into the correct orifice?” Sarah realized that she was adapting her speech patterns.
“I withdrew at the last moment, and ejaculated 50% of my remaining sperm and supporting fluids deep into her vagina.” Sarah’s vagina flexed at the words; was the remaining sperm destined to be released inside her?
“I’ll bet she loved that.” I know I would…
“Yes. From my observation of her orgasmic spasms, it would be accurate to say that she enjoyed it.” Sexual hunger flared inside Sarah. It was Valentine’s Day, and she was with someone who was willing and capable of making her orgasm.
“When was this?” Sarah asked, trying to distract herself from the thoughts clouding her mind… and her judgment.
“09:43. She'd just dropped her kids off at school.”
“Ewww.”
“Why 'Ewww'?” It was unnerving for Sarah to hear her own voice played back to her.
“How did you meet her?”
“She ran me down outside her home, and parked her car on my chest.”
“Did she suspect that you’re a machine?”
“No. It was not intentional. Her behavior was irrational. I was incapable of predicting the movement of her car.