He stepped into the café just as I finished my meal. It was a little before three on a Wednesday afternoon, so there were only a few other customers besides us. I'd worked through my lunch break due to an unexpected mini-crisis at the office. By the time I got it resolved, I was famished and eager to escape my job for an hour.
The man sat at a table near mine. My gaze lingered on him while he removed his suit coat and draped it over the back of his chair. I guessed he was around thirty-five. He was clean-shaven, revealing a strong jaw, and I could discern his muscular frame beneath his shirt. I returned my attention to my paperback before the man caught me looking at him. As he ordered a coffee, I made a point to keep reading.
When the server came by my table to ask if I'd like anything else, I gave her a guilty smile. I was a regular at the café, so she knew I never ordered dessert. Today, however, I was still frazzled from the chaos that had arisen at work earlier, and I had the urge to soothe myself with something sweet. "Could I get a slice of chocolate cake?" I asked quietly. "The smallest slice you can bring me."
She gave me an understanding smile. "Of course, sweetie." I was only twenty-five, but I guessed the server was a few years younger. She was tall, with a lithe, athletic body. The exact opposite of me.
Already I was regretting my decision to order the cake. Just shy of two hundred pounds, I'd been struggling to lose weight for as long as I could remember. I counted calories; I watched the carbs. I eliminated all added sugar from my diet. Some nights I was so hungry, I went to bed early, comforted only by the knowledge that I'd be able to eat again when I woke the next morning. No matter what I did, I stayed the same weight, with no gain or loss for years as my body stubbornly held onto every pound.
My guilt only grew while I waited for the server to come back. Glancing around, I locked eyes with the man sitting near me. Before I could look away, he smiled. I didn't do well at hiding my surprise, for I wasn't used to attention of any kind from someone like him. Once I'd managed a weak smile of my own, I quickly averted my gaze.
If my best friend had been there, she would have told me I was being far too self-critical. "You have a beautiful face, Greer!" Sharon always said. "I'd give anything for that gorgeous, clear complexion of yours. And those blue eyes and full lips!" Like any good friend, Sharon focused on my positive traits. But the rest of the world didn't see me that way.
The server came back with a huge slice of cake. When she placed it before me, I tried not to cringe. "Wow, that's a big piece!"
She winked. "Hope you enjoy it."
Once she'd returned to the counter, I tucked a strand of my dark shoulder-length hair behind my ear. Just looking at the cake made my mouth water; it was as if I hadn't eaten a bite of the soup and salad I'd ordered for my late lunch. Taking a deep breath, I gathered up a forkful of the cake and brought it to my lips. That first bite was almost better than sex. The cake was so moist, the chocolate icing thick and creamy. I had to hold back a pleasured moan while telling myself I'd eat only a little more. I'd skip dinner to make up for this transgression.
The second bite of cake made me close my eyes as I savored the taste. Then I realized how pathetic I must appear. Nervously glancing around, I caught the man at the nearby table watching me. His lips were slightly parted, the coffee before him seemingly forgotten. His stare was so intense that I immediately blushed. When I dropped the fork, it clattered against the plate. My mouth had gone dry, making it hard for me to swallow. Grabbing my purse, I rummaged through it for some cash. I left far more than I owed for the meal, then gathered up my stuff and bolted for the door.
The server looked up at me in concern. "Everything okay?"
"Money's on the table," I told her without slowing. Once I was out on the sidewalk, I strode toward the office where I worked, which was just down the street. All the while, I was thankful I'd chosen to wear sensible flats with my blouse and slacks that day.
I heard someone push open the café door, but I didn't look to see who it was. Then a man's voice called, "Wait! I'm sorry!" My eyes widened in disbelief. It certainly sounded like the guy who'd sat near me and ordered coffee, and who'd stared at me like I was part of some sideshow at the circus. No way he'd be ballsy enough to chase me out onto the street! I heard him break into a run, gaining ground. A rush of fury surged through me, and I whirled around. The man obviously hadn't expected me to halt right in front of him, and he almost slammed into me. "What do you want?" I snapped. Even I was surprised at how vicious I sounded, for I always went out of my way to be pleasant to everyone.
The man held up his hands. "I just want to apologize," he said, breathing a little fast. "I'm so sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable before."
"You certainly did!" My voice continued to rise. "Don't you have any manners? You're not supposed to stare at people while they're eating. Especially fat people!"
He looked stricken by what I said. Running his fingers through his brown hair, he seemed helpless to find the right words. Then his dark green eyes filled with something like pleading. "I didn't mean to be impolite. It's just that I think you're absolutely gorgeous."
I gaped at him, incredulous. This man, who could be on the cover of GQ, seemed determined to hurt me, and I couldn't understand why. He must have thought I was an idiot, believing I'd buy his bullshit about being attracted to me. "You're an asshole!" I said through my teeth. "Is this how you spend your days? Making fun of women who look like me?"
"Christ, no!" His expression was so earnest, it made me question my anger for a moment. "Look, can we please start over? I'm Patrick. It's very nice to meet you." He held out his hand.
I almost walked away. Instead, I remained where I was, regarding him warily. When I finally took his hand, he flashed a relieved smile. "I'm Greer," I said.
"Greer, I want to make up for being rude in the café, and for chasing you out here like a lunatic. Can I please take you to dinner?" I immediately started shaking my head. "Please," he repeated. "I feel awful about the impression I made, but I hope you'll give me a chance to atone for my behavior."
I found myself fighting back a smile. Though I had no idea what this guy was up to, in my head I could hear Sharon urging me, "Go for it! What do you have to lose?" Releasing a mildly exasperated sigh, I said, "Fine."
Patrick's face lit up. Reaching for his wallet, he said, "I'm going to give you my business card. It has my number on it. Will you call me tonight? Please?"
I appreciated that he wasn't pushing me for my number, instead leaving that initial call up to me. "Okay." I tried to sound noncommittal while taking the card.
"I really hope I hear from you soon, Greer. Now I have to go pay for that coffee," he added with a sheepish grin.
I watched him turn and jog toward the café. Before going back inside, he smiled and waved. I looked down at his card, wondering if I'd actually have the nerve to call him.
*****
It turns out I did have the nerve. I wished I could talk to Sharon about the situation, but she was out of town for an important work conference, and I didn't want to bother her over something as trivial as a date. So I waited until later that evening, then steeled myself and called the number on Patrick's card.
He answered almost immediately. "Hi, it's Greer," I spoke in a rush.
"I'm so glad you called!" Patrick said. I could tell he was smiling. "I hope you don't mind, but I decided to think positive, and I already made dinner reservations for us tomorrow at seven." The restaurant he'd chosen was a local landmark. It had great food and a relaxed atmosphere, so patrons could wear anything from jeans to formal attire. "If that time doesn't work for you, I'll be happy to change it."
"Seven tomorrow sounds great." I couldn't help but feel relieved that Patrick had taken the initiative so I didn't have to choose the place for our date.
"So, did you have a good day?" he asked. "I mean, after some asshole ruined your lunch at the café."
I had to laugh at his self-deprecating humor. "The rest of my day was calm and quiet, just how I like it. And my evening is shaping up very well now."
"I'm very glad to hear that, Greer." His tone grew almost seductive, and despite my lingering uncertainty about this man, I felt a warmth low in my belly. The mere sound of his voice had ignited that little spark of lust. I wouldn't allow myself to stay on the phone with him long, however. Instead, I made an excuse about having more work to do that evening. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow," Patrick told me before we said goodbye. Again I was surprised by the way he made his attraction to me so evident. Part of me was secretly thrilled to be the object of his desire, but another part had been burned far too many times and remained guarded.
The rest of the night and the following day dragged on at an agonizing pace. Because I still suspected that Patrick was too good to be true, my skeptical side wanted seven o'clock to hurry up and arrive so I could simply get the date over with and move on. But when I finally left work and went home to get ready, I grew more and more nervous. During my shower, I kept telling myself this was a bad idea. I wondered if it was too late to cancel.
"Stop it, Greer!" I muttered to myself. "It's just dinner, for God's sake!"
A little later, I stood before the mirror, ignoring the fact that my hands were shaking as I styled my hair. I decided to sweep it back from my face. For my outfit, I'd chosen a black dress that flattered my body type, accentuating my D-cup breasts while having a slimming effect on my waist. Beneath the dress, I wore thigh-high stockings. My ankle-strap heels, also black, weren't exactly comfortable, but they'd be fine for one evening. I kept my makeup light and understated. Studying my reflection, I couldn't help but be pleased. Of course, I would have been far more pleased if I were fifty pounds lighter.
I decided to take an Uber to the restaurant. That way, if Patrick stood me up, or, even worse, our date turned into a disaster, I could at least have a few drinks at the bar to drown my disappointment. I ended up arriving a little early, but I found Patrick already waiting for me outside. The late spring air was warm and held a gentle breeze. With plenty of daylight left, Patrick quickly spotted me and closed the distance between us. "Greer, you look absolutely beautiful!" he said, drawing me into a quick hug.
"Thank you." I knew I was beaming at his words. "And you look fantastic in that suit." Patrick was clearly pleased by my compliment, and as we entered the restaurant, he slipped an arm around my waist. Once we were seated at a table, I had to stop myself from staring at him. After all, I'd told him the day before how rude it was to stare. But now that my anger had disappeared and I was actually on a date with the man, I allowed myself to fully grasp just how fucking gorgeous he was.
I decided to order a Sloe Gin Fizz, a drink I rarely permitted myself to enjoy because of the sugar it contained. "Maker's Mark, neat," Patrick said to our server, giving her a winning smile. After she'd left the table, he turned that smile on me. "I've never had a Sloe Gin Fizz."
"You can try mine. I normally stick with Pinot Noir, but I figured I'd live a little tonight."
"That's what I want to hear." Something about Patrick's gaze, and his voice, sent a surge of arousal through me. Fuck, I was getting wet just sitting across from him! I resolved to focus on the menu so I wouldn't be distracted by thoughts of how much I wanted to see him naked. When the server returned with our drinks a short time later, Patrick and I had both decided on dinner. I chose the crab cakes, while he ordered a sirloin.
Before I took a sip of my drink, I offered the glass to Patrick. He tried it, his expression curious. "Damn, that's good," he said. "Might have to get one of those next time." As we chatted, our conversation initially remained in platonic territory. We discussed our jobs and hobbies, and I was delighted to learn Patrick was something of a bookworm as well. He loved sci-fi novels, while I enjoyed reading fiction and nonfiction alike.
It was only when I took the first bite of my meal that I noticed Patrick gazing at me the way he had at the café. It was as if he couldn't help himself. "How is it?" he asked softly.
I struggled to maintain my pleasant expression as I said, "It's delicious. The remoulade sauce is out of this world." I noticed Patrick didn't touch his own food. Instead, he continued watching me, eager for me to take another bite. It was then that understanding washed over me like an icy wave. "Patrick," I said, and my curt tone snapped him out of his reverie. Leaning toward him, I lowered my voice so only he could hear. "Are you a feeder? You know, one of those men who are sexually excited by feeding a fat woman and watching her gain more and more weight?"
"No." His emphatic reply made it clear he knew exactly what I was talking about. "I have no interest in that, Greer. I don't want you to eat until you're stuffed, and I don't want you to try to gain weight."
"Good, because I'm definitely not doing that."
"That being said, you do have to eat." The heat returned to his stare once more. "And I take great pleasure in watching you do that."
I raised an eyebrow. "Even if I'm eating health food?" I knew there were men who got online and actually paid to watch fat women gorge themselves on food like pizza and ice cream. I doubted any of those men paid to see a woman like me nibble at a salad.
"Well, that would depend on how much pleasure you got from eating the health food," Patrick replied. "If you enjoy eating a carrot as much as you enjoy eating cake, then yes, I'd get sexual satisfaction from watching you eat the carrot."
"I hate carrots," I sighed.
He laughed and reached for my hand. Then his gaze grew tender. "I can only imagine how difficult it is to be a bigger woman in this culture." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "I just want you to be kind to yourself. And I want you to recognize the beauty I see every time I look at you."
I closed my eyes for a moment. It was my way of hiding from the emotion so plainly revealed in Patrick's face. I desperately wanted to believe him, but I still struggled with my doubts. Looking at him again, I said, "You tell me you're turned on by fat women, but you don't look like you have an ounce of fat on you. You're probably at the gym every day."
Patrick flashed a wry smile. "Big tits turn me on, too. Doesn't mean I want them for myself."
I let out an unflattering snort of laughter at that, but my next thought caused my grin to fade. "So, what happens if you and I start seeing each other, and your friends want to know why you're dating a fat chick?"
"Then they would no longer be my friends," Patrick said simply. "I've dated larger women in the past, Greer, but those relationships never worked out because of my... fetish." He fell silent for several seconds, appearing to consider something. "In fact, I don't think I've ever been with a woman who truly enjoyed food."
"I have issues with food, too," I pointed out.
"But when you took a bite of that chocolate cake yesterday, for a moment you allowed yourself to relish it. And seeing that was instantly arousing."
Knowing that Patrick had gotten turned on while watching me eat caused a blush to redden my cheeks. Before my own lust got the better of me, I decided to ask him one last question about his kink. "Does it excite you to see thin women eat?"
"Definitely not to the same extent," he revealed. "I mean, I also enjoy sleeping with thin women, but..."
"Not to the same extent," I finished with a grin.
"Exactly. Enjoyable as it is, I feel like something's missing. Something I need."
"So when I do this..." I took another bite of crab cake, then let out an appreciative moan. Patrick's stare was riveted to me while I ate; I noticed him breathing faster, and his face was a little flushed. "Does it excite you?" I murmured.
"God, yes!" he said. "You're so fucking sexy, Greer."
I had to duck my head to hide a delighted smile. "You haven't touched your food."
Though Patrick seemed reluctant to do anything that would take his attention from me, he began eating his steak. We continued getting to know each other better, and to his credit, he tried not to stare too much as I enjoyed my meal. Now that I understood his kink, I felt guilty for my behavior outside the café. "I'm sorry I got so angry with you yesterday," I said. "I've just been hurt too many times before, I guess."
His gaze softened. "I understand."
"Do you?" I asked quietly. "Because I've dated guys like you in the past. Granted, they weren't nearly as hot, but they all started out telling me how sexy they thought I was. Then, maybe a few weeks or even a few months later, it was less, 'You're really sexy, Greer,' and more, 'You'd be a lot sexier if you lost twenty, fifty, eighty pounds.'"
"I would never do that to you," Patrick insisted. "I know I have to earn your trust, so I've tried to be as upfront with you as possible. I'm not going to manipulate you or try to change you into someone you're not. I'm wildly attracted to the person you are right now."
Looking away so Patrick wouldn't see me blink back tears, I realized he had indeed earned my trust. And as my defenses crumbled, my desire for him only grew stronger. When I finished my meal a few minutes later, Patrick decided he was done as well. "Want to go back to my place?" he asked me in the low, deep voice that made me wet.
"Absolutely," I said without hesitation. He'd made it more than clear that he wanted me, and now I could hardly stop myself from reaching for him. After Patrick paid for the meal, we left the restaurant, his arm around me all the while. Outside, a fairly large group of men and women approached us on their way inside. I got the sense they were celebrating something. Patrick seemed mindless of them as he turned toward me. My eyes widened when he cupped my face in his hands and lowered his lips to mine. One of the men in the group let out a low whistle, prompting a woman to chide him.
I loved the feel of Patrick's mouth on mine. Our first kiss was slow and tender, the kind that made me want it to last forever. When we finally drew apart, I grinned up at him. He took my hand and led me to his car. After opening the passenger door for me, Patrick circled around to climb into the driver's seat. As soon as he was inside, I practically lunged toward him.
Our second kiss quickly grew hungry and demanding. He moaned while I slid my palm along his inner thigh, stopping just short of his groin. The moment our tongues touched, a tremor of hot lust coursed through my body.