A story from my pre-married life. My relationship with Andy during my twenties was bumpy and lasted about two years. We were both unfaithful at times and had more than one break-up and make-up. One totally inappropriate lover I had was an ex-colleague called Craig, who I slept with a handful of times. I confessed this affair to Andy shortly after, and it led to one of our break-ups. I didn’t tell him the juicy details at the time. I don’t think men at that age want to hear it, and girls don’t want to share the details either. Maybe that changes as you get older, and this is how I re-imagine the conversation now.

“Do you really want to hear all the details?” I had not expected Andy to react quite like this.

“Yes. If you’re going to be unfaithful to me and ruin our relationship, I have a right to know.” I could tell Andy was hurt as he spoke. Yet I could not help feeling there was something in his voice hinting that he might be turned on by the idea of hearing about my night with Craig.

“Well, we were at the conference when I bumped into Craig. I knew he’d be there, and he was with four or five of his new workmates at the drinks reception after dinner on the first night. Suzie, Paul, and Nick from our office were with me but they soon went their own ways and did the networking thing I should have been doing too.”

“But instead, I stayed and chatted with Craig and a guy from his Berlin office, Dirk. He insisted we come to a burlesque club with him. I wasn’t sure, and it felt a bit inappropriate on a work trip, but he was pretty insistent, and Craig said something like ‘When in Berlin …’ and I guess I thought it would be an experience like the Cabaret movie. Before I knew it we were heading into the place, which turned out to be somewhere between burlesque and a full-on sex club.” 

I looked at Andy, expecting some shock or disapproval, but his face was giving nothing away. He sipped his drink and nodded very slightly, which I took as a signal to go on.

“The club had three floors. The ground floor had a DJ and music playing, with people drinking and dancing much like any nightclub. We hung out there for a while, and Dirk knew a couple of people who spoke with us while we had some drinks. One of the German guys in the group wasn’t bad-looking and started flirting with me, quite obviously. I think that stirred Craig’s competitive edge.

“He managed to lead me away from the group and we went upstairs to see. Dirk had said this top floor was the burlesque part of the club. Well, the guests were dressed a bit more kinky than that. Plenty of leather and flesh on display. Some cross-dressing as well. People were kissing, and two burlesque dancers were putting on a dance on a raised stage. I’m not going to lie, it was quite sexy and I was starting to feel horny. At this point, I was feeling very overdressed for the venue too. Craig could not fail to have noticed I was turned on, and he was starting to hold onto me more frequently.”

It was almost imperceptible, but every time I mentioned Craig’s name, I could see Andy flinch slightly. He clearly wanted me to continue, though.

“We took in a bit of the show, and people-watched too, before going back downstairs. There was no sign of Dirk, and Craig suggested we try the bottom floor. Neither of us had any idea, but what we walked into was almost a full-on dungeon. Everyone seemed to be wearing fetish gear, and there were both men and girls tied to cages. Nobody was doing anything to them, I guess there was some kind of no-touch rule, but plenty of people were kissing and groping each other. Basically, we had been introduced to one of the notorious Berlin sex clubs. Craig asked me if I wanted to leave. Part of me was curious and would want to stay, but it felt a bit sleazy, so I said, Yes, let’s leave.”

Finally, Andy spoke. “I suppose he asked you back for a nightcap, did he?” 

I looked at Andy, again seeing the conflict in his face. “Not quite that clichéd. For a start, we were staying in the same hotel, along with half the people at the conference. But there wasn’t much suspense, to be honest, we were soon back at the hotel, and I was in his room. I felt bad and knew I was doing the wrong thing, but I was upset about you and Natasha and was using that as my justification.”

Not much reaction from Andy when I mentioned his infidelity, but I think I detected a twinge of guilt on his face.

“We talked about the club, and I admitted to Craig that it made me feel pretty sexy. He told me he didn’t realise I was into anything so kinky. Soon his hands were on my clothes, and we didn’t talk too much after that.”

“Did you suck his cock?” Andy couldn’t help blurting it out. It must have been the biggest question burning in his mind.

“Yes.” There wasn’t much more I could say.

Andy sat motionless and gave no reply, so I carried on. “If you must know, I was on my knees after lowering his trousers. I was quite drunk, but I do remember him kicking off his socks as I did that. Such a guy thing. His cock was straining at his boxers; yes, I’m afraid he is pretty well equipped, but I soon had them off.”

Andy remained silent.

“Craig enjoyed me blowing him for a few minutes, but then he lifted me on the bed so he could return the favour. We ended up in a sixty nine after he had removed the rest of my clothes. You won’t be surprised that I came first. He wasn’t long reaching his orgasm after that though.”

“Did you swallow?”

Andy with another urgent question; I guess he just had to know.

“Yes, and he had a pretty massive orgasm.” Maybe I didn’t need to add that. The memory of Craig’s cock in my mouth came flooding back. I could almost taste the salty, bitter semen.

“Did you fuck him?” Andy’s questions were starting to come thick and fast now.

“After a while, yes. It took a bit of recovery time, but he got hard again, and I climbed on top of him and straddled him.”

Again, I replayed the evening in Berlin in my head and could feel myself getting wetter as I recalled the sensations of pinning myself down on Craig’s groin and grinding up and down on his glorious cock.

I carried on. “It lasted longer this time, but he came first. I fucked him pretty hard to tell the truth. He finished me off with his fingers, and that was basically it, and we collapsed asleep. We had an early start in the morning, so there was no time for any action. I felt terrible when I woke up. I knew what I had done to you, and being drunk and away in Berlin was no excuse.”

Andy nodded and slowly got to his feet. My mind was in turmoil. I could feel the dampness between my legs and was praying Andy would grab me and take me to his bedroom. Punish me, tell me his own sordid tale about Natasha, fuck me senseless.

“I think you should go.” Andy’s words cut into me like a knife. I knew then that our relationship might not recover from that night in Berlin.