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Fiction Dialogue Writing in Five Parts

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Kee
Sensual Hobgoblin
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Arlene Prunkl does am an extremely comprehensive job of explaining the ins and outs of dialogue. This may be more than you want to know but a read through will leave even the most experienced authors with new ideas to employ in their writing.

Part 1 http://penultimateword.com/fiction/dialect-in-dialogue-how-to-write-authentic-dialect-and-foreign-accents/

Part 2 http://penultimateword.com/fiction/dialogue-in-fiction-part-2-the-essentials/

Part 3 http://penultimateword.com/editing-blogs/dialogue-in-fiction-part-iii-the-nuts-and-bolts/

Part 4 http://penultimateword.com/editing-blogs/dialogue-in-fiction-part-iv-nuts-and-bolts-contd/

Part 5 http://penultimateword.com/editing-blogs/dialogue-in-fiction-part-v-writing-your-characters-thoughts/

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PhilU
Forum Kan-Guru
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Quote by Kee
Arlene Prunkl does am an extremely comprehensive job of explaining the ins and outs of dialogue. This may be more than you want to know but a read through will leave even the most experienced authors with new ideas to employ in their writing.

Part 1 http://penultimateword.com/fiction/dialect-in-dialogue-how-to-write-authentic-dialect-and-foreign-accents/

Part 2 http://penultimateword.com/fiction/dialogue-in-fiction-part-2-the-essentials/

Part 3 http://penultimateword.com/editing-blogs/dialogue-in-fiction-part-iii-the-nuts-and-bolts/

Part 4 http://penultimateword.com/editing-blogs/dialogue-in-fiction-part-iv-nuts-and-bolts-contd/

Part 5 http://penultimateword.com/editing-blogs/dialogue-in-fiction-part-v-writing-your-characters-thoughts/


Thanks for that, Kee! Although I'd recommend maybe starting with Part 2 (Part 1 is quite specific and I can fairly easily dodge dialect... but from Part 2 onward is really good stuff).

Although some newbies might also want to look at:

https://www.lushstories.com/Resources/formatting-dialogue.aspx

I know I got that hopelessly wrong on my first story submission here...
WannabeWordsmith
Writius Eroticus
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Great stuff, Kee. Although I like to think I'm getting better as a writer, I'm still guilty of some of this stuff so thanks for bringing them back to the forefront of my memory so I can employ the techniques in future.

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Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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I love dialogue. These are excellent (I skipped the first one too, because I don't use dialects). Even found out a mistake I was making. I always used an ellipsis and a period--so, four dots--if a character's dialogue trails off at the end. Wrong, apparently. No period, just the ellipsis.
BJintheUK
Active Ink Slinger
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Hello,

I'm going to make myself unpopular here because one of the things I read in part 2 of the links Kee put up is something I don't entirely agree with.

In part 2 of the dialogue articles by Arlene Prunkl she extols the virtues of single POV, and at one point mentions 'head hopping' as though it was to be avoided at all costs.

I'm sorry, but I find head hopping very useful in trying to impart motive to my characters. Please read the following scene I wrote that demonstrates how head hopping is necessary to understand the action in the classroom. I must warn you in advance that it's 4,000 words long, but the scene has a beginning and an end, and much intense head hopping in the middle.

Please also be aware that speech is contained in double quotes " " whereas thoughts are contained in single quotes ' '. EDIT by Kee: Thoughts are never put in any type of quote mark. In US English single quote marks are used to show a quote within a quote. In UK English single-quote marks are used as double-quote marks are used in US English, to show a direct quote.

I had originally hoped to put up a link to the document (which is in Word on my computer) but I can't see any way to do that, so I've had to paste it here in full instead.



***

Story snipped by Moderator.

Stories aren't to be posted on the forums... submit them through the 'Submit Story' button and they can be checked to see if they actually pass site rules...

***
BJintheUK
Active Ink Slinger
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Ooops!

I'm very sorry for upsetting anyone by posting the scene that's been removed.

The point of the scene was to show the difference between the motivations of the nervous teacher and the surly pupil. I felt this could only be done by using 'head hopping' in order to get inside both their heads as the scene unfolded. The build up to the eventual explosive conclusion could clearly be seen by examining the entirely different motivations driving each character, and this could only be accomplished by switching views from one protagonist to the other.

I'm sure purists will say that the scene should have been written from the point of view of just one of the characters, with the other's motivation being seen purely from outside, but I wanted to compare and contrast the two as the scene was progressing so that the reader would be able to better understand where each of them were coming from, and what each took away from the encounter.

I may try to write a different scene that complies with the terms and conditions of the Lush site in order to illustrate the point I was making, but unfortunately it will have to wait a few days as I have other things to attend to at the moment.

Best regards to all, and once again my apologies to the moderators for breaking site rules.
sdsioux
Advanced Wordsmith
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One of the things I've learned so far is to use my thesaurus to change a word (s) making it different from my way of saying things
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
Herbert Spencer
sdsioux
Advanced Wordsmith
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Very useful information. Today you would say Tom said instead of said Tom.
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
Herbert Spencer
tarnishedknight
Active Ink Slinger
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I read parts of the presentation on dialogue and narrative and found it somewhat useful although it should be looked at as just one person's opinion. A serious writer should look at more than just one. I have had a little success as a writer of mainstream novels and will tell you what I learned when a very accomplished editor ripped my first novel apart...removing whole chapters as useless filler. He told me something that has stuck with me. He said, realistic dialogue can put your reader into your story and if well done can make them feel as an eavesdropper, or even a voyeur, to what is happening. Too much narrative can put your reader to sleep.

One other thing...thoughts are not put in quotes. They are written in italics. One doesn't want them confused with dialogue.

Just my thoughts on the subject.
Guest
Lurker
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cydia
MILF (Man, I love felines)
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Hiya everyone! Welcome to class! It's "Dialogue Formatting For Lushies In A Hurry"... also in five(ish) parts.

Let's quickly go over the absolute basics that some people have probably forgotten by now:

[0] Punctuation IS NOT OPTIONAL!

"This is incorrect" the mod complained because of course she did.

+ "This is correct," the mod said and looked unnecessarily smug.

***

[0.1] Punctuation goes BEFORE the quotation mark!

"This is incorrect", the mod complained again.

+ "This is correct," the mod repeated.

(It's different in other languages. Sorry. Yes, the world is unfair.)

***

[0.2] Only ONE type of punctuation, please!

"This is incorrect!", the mod complained yet again.

+ "This is correct!" the mod said with apparent excitement.

+ "This is also correct," the mod said.

***

You got that? Fantastic. Let's level up! Please have a look-see at this wonderful website:

https://www.thebluegarret.com/blog/how-to-punctuate-dialogue

Ms Tate summarizes it very well, really:

[1] Commas for speech, periods for action

"This is incorrect," the mod baked a cake.

+ "This is correct." The mod happily kept on baking.

+ "This is also correct," the mod said as she licked the batter off the spatula.

***

[2] Don’t capitalize after ? or !

"This is also incorrect!" Screamed the mod.

+ "This is better!" she yelled.

(The spoken bit and the dialogue tag are ONE sentence, ONE unit. You don't randomly capitalize a word in the middle of a sentence.)

***

[3] No further punctuation after — or ...

"Incorrect again...," sighed the mod.

+ "It's all coming together..." the mod sighed wistfully.

(Extra credit: Thy ellipsis shalt be three dots. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt dot, and the number of the dotting shall be three. Four shalt thou not dot, nor either dot thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the dots are three, being the third dot, be reached, then, dot no more.) (Stole this shamelessly from dronette.)

***

To add:

[4] Give the new speaker a new line for clarity!

"Why?" "Because it's clearer." The mod shrugged. "It's not that hard." "I've already lost track of who's actually talking." "Also, is this also still the mod talking?" "Who tf knows." "She's probably talking to herself." "Or to her cat." "Mrow." "Wait, how many legs are there in this conversation??" "Mroww!"
***

[5] Be consistent!

"This looks wonky,' the mod complained.

+ "This is better."

+ 'This is also fine.'

***

That's it for today. Questions?

Thank you! Class dismissed!

AvidlyCurious
Partner-in-Lust / Cummunist
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Quote by cydia
That's it for today. Questions?

"Will you marry me?" she asked coyly.

Curiosity is one of those insatiable passions that grow by gratification.
cydia
MILF (Man, I love felines)
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Quote by AvidlyCurious

"Will you marry me?" she asked coyly.

"Mrrrow," she said.