"Shall we start with Cunts?" suggests 80-year-old Alison Bates, when asked, "Tell me more about those times, Grandma Alison." It is of course a very good place to start, for Professor Emma Jane Cuntslicker ("Cunts" to her friends) of the Royal Academy of Fucking was not just, as my friend Violet puts it, the "best professor ever ❤", but one of the great founding fuckers of the New Enlightenment, a woman who managed to balance her devotion to building a free-fucking society with nobility of character and goodwill towards all her young charges. But where did this great woman come from? How did she help to create this brave new world? And just what was her enigmatic relationship with her eventual nemesis, Dr Hildegard Fotzenficker of the sinister Princess Asshole Hospice?
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," writes Cunts later in life - and so this Alison Goes to London ambiquel has somewhat Dickensian (over-)ambitions, tracing a path through the history of the New Enlightenment, backwards and forwards from Alison, interweaving the stories of some of the people who were most deeply affected by this revolutionary movement: not just Cunts and Hildegard, but Riley and her elusive parents (What really happened to her dad?), Rob and Eva and their exiled family (How did that happen?), and of course Alison (What happened after she escaped?)
Young Cunts - Act One: Shall We Start With Cunts? is up now - the first of five. (OK, I have Shakespearian ambitions too - but have patience!)
Oh and, by the way, it's really filthy too... 😕
