My best friend is wanted

at the end of a rope for murder.

I got the poster that says so right here.

Gonna hang at high noon in a few minutes,

if I don’t do something about it.

However, I got another best friend;

at one minute to twelve

she comes out of the hotel naked.

Everybody watches her big tits swing in the wind

and her fat, bearded belly, roll.

Everybody thinking,

I’d like a piece of that pie.

Meanwhile, at the top of the wooden staircase

in the middle of the street,

a noose blew in that wind.

Surreptitiously, I cut the rope that bound my friend’s hands.

We jumped to the saddles below.

Landed somewhat painfully,

ready to go.

The third horse was for Miss Lily.

I watched her wet her saddle

for the next fifty miles or so.

I saw her eyes fill with ecstasy,

as we rode to the next town.

And continued so, when she felt the reward money.

We split it three ways.

We made a new plan to get more.

We shared a celebratory drink,

and then, quite lavishly, each other.